×

Wyszukaj artykuł


Podaj imię i nazwisko autora

Podaj tytuł szukanej piosenki

Epic Rap Battles Of History J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin tekst piosenki i tłumaczenie. Posłuchaj MP3 i obejrzyj teledysk z Youtube oraz sprawdź chwyty.



Tekst piosenki

Brace yourself!

Gather up your trolls and your soldier Elves!

And your Ents and your Orcs and your Wargs and your Stings

Your Dwarves and Glamdrings

Cause there's a new literary lord in the ring!

My readers fall in love with every character I've written

Then I kill 'em (Aaaahhhh!) They're like 'No! He didn't!'

All your bad guys die, and your good guys survive!

We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five!

Tell your all-seeing eye to find some sex in your movies (Yeah)

Ditch the Goonie, and cast a couple boobies!

There’s edgier plots in that David the Gnome

Your Hobbit-hole heroes can’t handle my throne


Kings, queens, dragons, dwarves

Horses, fortresses, magic and swords

You Hob-bit my whole shit, you uninspired hack

You want a war, George? Welcome to Shire-raq!

In book sales you’ve got nothing to say

I’m number one and two, you’re under Fifty Shades of Grey

I’ve got the prose of a pro, your shit’s subpar

You’re a pirate, you even stole my "R. R."

Oh, we all know the world is full of chance and anarchy

So yes, it’s true-to-life for characters to die randomly

But news flash, the genre’s called fantasy

It’s meant to be unrealistic, you myopic manatee



I conscientiously object to what you’re doing on these beats

I’ll cut you like my teeth on Beauty and the Beast

You went too deep, Professor Tweed Pants

We don’t need the backstory on every fucking tree branch



I cut my teeth in the trenches of the Somme

You LARPed your Santa Claus ass through Vietnam

Man, it’s hard for me to take criticism on clothes

From a dude who sends a raven to say "Hi" to his toes



Man, your fat jokes are worse than your pipe smoke

My show’s the hottest thing on H-B-O!

I’m rock and roll, you’re a nerdy little nebbish

And I may be dirty but you got a hairy foot fetish, dawg

Even the names of your characters suck

You got Bafurs and Bofurs and Brandybucks

I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks

Lift up my gut and tea-Baggins my nuts



C. S. Lewis and I were just discussing

How you and Jon Snow... both know nothing!

Because the backstory of my box office is billions

Got my children making millions off my Silmarillions

And I’m more rock and roll than you’ve ever been

Don’t believe me? Ask Led Zeppelin

You can’t reach this Fellow, shit, I’m Two Towering

(Ooh) Every time I battle, it’s Return of the King 

Edytuj tekst

Tłumaczenie

Dodaj tłumaczenie

Dodaj komentarz


Ostatnio szukane utwory:

The Patriot Game

Liam Clancy

Come all ye young rebels, and list while I sing, For the love of one's country is a terrible thing. It banishes fear with the speed of a flame, And it...


Wierz w siebie

LGS

Uwierzyłem w siebie nieraz I będę wierzył do końca Do osiągnięcia celu Przybliża mnie każdy wschód słońca Jednak wiem co tu robie I wiem po co tu...


Prisionero en el tiempo

Leyenda

Toda imagen desnuda Toda visión olvidada Fui niño que espera un futuro Que no terminó de vivir Guerrero errante Sin una misión que cumplir Creyente e...


Soy yo

Leyenda

Se abre en dos lo que ví en dolor Nunca supiste lo que ocurrio, soy yo Te he visto, te he oído, te he reconocido Mírame a la cara sin temor, soy yo...


Horizontes

Leyenda

En este mundo cabalgando he llegado a tener Un castillo, una reina y el amor de una mujer He visto vida, he visto muerte, he visto el infinito He luch...


Quintaesencia

Leyenda

La estrella de fuego ilumina tu cielo La luna da sombra y te ciega el miedo Eres tú, no entiendes por qué Visiones que cruzan en libertad Ideas que f...


Girl on tv

LFO

"Girl On TV" Oooh,Yeahhhh,I'm wishin' on a fallin' star, wonderin' where you are....I wish... [Chorus] I wish for you on a fallin' star,wonderin'...


6 Minutes

LFO

Yeah 6 minutes, LFO ur on I was at a party with my mind in the gutter She walked in behind me with a friend and her brother Stepped onto the dance fl...


Vampiro

Leyenda

A veces pienso que un día llegará El momento de contarte la verdad No soy un hombre ni siquiera un animal Vivo y muerto desde siglos atrás Os co...


I wana sex you up

LFO

I wanna sex you up Let me freak you out I wanna sex you up I know the way you like it Let me freak you out Girl, you are my destiny Baby, I lik...


Sueños de libertad

Leyenda

Vidas oscuras mala amistad Calles vacías de bondad Odio en los ojos para sobrevivir Y miedo por la vida miedo por morir. Miras a través de un cristal...


Serce matki

Les Frères Kaszowski

Żyjemy wśród zamętu I brak tu sentymentu Tu sztuczny śmiech, tam są sztuczne łzy Obłuda, fałsz - to są życia gry Miłości szczerej nie ma Epoka kłamst...


Inquisición

Leyenda

Mil años hará grabada en piedra La mano inmortal señala la senda A los soldados de dios Encontraran las puertas blancas De un infierno lleno de sa...


Pesadillas

Leyenda

Cuánto tiempo pasa desde que Un sueño surca tu cabeza Hasta que se cumple, Sin saber que todo gira con certeza Dímelo tu, que harás cuando maduren N...


Every Other Time

LFO

C'mon nananananananananana nananananananananana nananananananananana every oth-every other time I said lets talk about it as she walked out on me and...


Talento oculto

Leyenda

Hoy has visto una luz Brillando en tu camino Te invitaba una voz A que siguieras su destino Tienes mucho que dar, poco que ganar Pero por un sueño Re...


Herztattoo

Liam

Ich brauche ein neues Herz mein altes ist viel zu schwer verbraucht Ich brauche ein' neuen Plan Denn er löst sich langsam auf Ich kann nicht mehr...


Lucio Dalla

Liam

Liam dov’è? /raccoglie le stelle che son cadute nel bar /e sua madre dov’è?/ E’ ancora in prigione, per un po’ resta là/e il Padre chi è? /non l’...


Loneliness

LGHTNNG

Close my eyes in the night I'm doing fine Things could all be worse Talk blood spitting words I'm allright I'm doing fine Things could all be w...


Posłuchaj Mego Głosu

LGS

Wyszedłem na swiat nie wiedzialem ze to poczatek Nie wiadzialem ze bede wiazal koniec z koncem Życie jest cenne,jednak teraz bladze Bo naszym przew...



Ostatnio dodane piosenki

Another Day In Paradise

She calls out to the man on the street "Sir, can you help me? It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep Is there somewhere you can tell me?" He walks on...

Apologize

I'm holding on your rope Got me ten feet off the ground And I'm hearing what you say But I just can't make a sound You tell me that you need me T...

Wieś

Wszystko ma tutaj wielki sens ścieżki spętane przerażeniem świątek srożący się przy drodze i w ustach chleba kwaśny kęs Wszystko ma tutaj...

Sny

Nocami być razem jest prościej, we władzy ciała jest dusza, nic nas nie drażni, nie złości, poważnych tematów się nie porusza. Zamykam oczy i b...

Wolne

Chcę wolne od zaraz Chcę wyjechać daleko Chcę pobyć tam sama Chcę się poczuć tam lekko Chcę wolne natychmiast Chcę inny krajobraz I dźwięki,...

Wypalenie

Zeszłam ze szczytu w nowej sukience Nikt mnie nie widzi, może nadal tam jestem Byłam na szczycie, stamtąd trudno jest dostrzec Że w mieście moim są...

Chcę Być z Tobą

Nie rozumiesz Nie rozumiesz Jak bardzo kocham Cię ! Czy to wszytko poszło w piach? Czy to wszystko zniszczył czas ? Płoniemy, płoniemy Teraz p...

Freon (ft. Dawid Podsiadło, Duit)

[Zwrotka 1: Oskar] Później leżą patrząc w sufit, to spółka w takich bajkach Szlugi, potem drugi, kółka z Lucky Strike'a Na podłodze sterta ubrań: m...

Zabierz tę miłość (ft. Julia Wieniawa)

Zabierz tę miłość Nie mogę jej już znieść Uczucia giną Jak deszcz i śnieg Poganiam je Wyprzedzasz mnie Przecież też wiesz Mijamy się Moja ni...

Patoreakcja

[Intro: Rafał Walentynowicz] O 15:30 Solar i Białas w asyście ochroniarzy, policji i straży miejskiej pojawili się w Liceum im. Batorego w Warszawie....

Za krótki sen (ft. Dawid Podsiadło)

To był tylko za krótki sen Przeleciałam przez palce w cień Tuż pod tafla się rozbił nurt Szara woda porwała mnie To był tylko za krótki sen Pow...

Przypływy (ft. Ralph Kaminski)

Z prądem przypłynąłeś do mnie Zatrzęsienie Krąży we mnie teraz wszystko Dokąd – nie wiem Czy to normalne jest By z dnia na dzień oszaleć tak M...

Fiołkowe pole

Słodka jak truskawki latem A trzyma w łapie tylko kubek słonych łez Skromna jak pole fiołkowe I to w ponury dzień Ej, chyba dzwoni kurier Tylko s...

2:00

Nie wiem czy to miało sens Hulać tak, hulać tak Kolejny raz Carpe diem z dnia na dzień A potem sza Cicho sza, cicho sza Sorka za ten telefon...

Julia w Mieście

Na serio tak wleciała z takim różowym outfitem, cała odpalona Wyszła z limuzyny Wchodzę do szkoły dobrze ubrana SGH, Dolce Gabbana Wreszcie Juli...

Wakacje w Warszawie

Wakacje w Warszawie idą całkiem płynnie Ty wciąż tańczysz, ja wciąż oblewam siebie winem Taki chyba biznes Robię ci już setne zdjęcie Sama nie wie...

Zakochałam się w nieznajomym

Zakochałam się w nieznajomym Zobaczyłam go w tramawaju Chyba w dziesiątce Na wyścigi bez biletu błądzę Na pierwszą lekcję nieprzygotowana Spóźnię...

Morda nie szklanka

nie byłem sam choć bylem sam i mówię wam, ze to zero dram i mogę grać dalej stać nie będę bać się uwierz waść nie chcesz mnie znać nie chce c...

Wróciłeś nad ranem

Niech widza jaka z nas jest para Od różańca i browara Wszyscy się na nas patrzą W rytm tańca klaszczą Zobacz jestem idealna spadam z nieba jak ma...

To ja

Wow Chuja kładę na was robię czystkę Niepozorny chłopiec, który rozjebie Ci biznes Wkoło cały dzień, cały dzień piszę listy Sobel przecież nie jes...

Inne piosenki wykonawcy

Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe: Once upon a midnight dreary, as I spit this weak and weary, I will choke this joker with a trochee till his cheeks are teary But...

Sir Isaac Newton vs Bill Nye

Sir Isaac Newton Of all the scientific minds in history they put Beaker in a bow tie up against me ? I'm a master I discovered gravity I drop rh...

Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock

STEVEN SPIELBERG: Picture a child sitting next to a projector Learning from your films to become a much better director Now picture a 3 billion dol...

Zeus Vs Thor

[Zeus] How dare you challenge my immortal throne? I'm the father of the gods, put your daddy on the phone Maybe Odin could beg me for a truce, caus...

Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates

Steve Jobs: Let me just step right in, I got things to invent I'm an innovator baby, change the world Fortune 500 'fore you kissed a girl I'm a pi...

Terminator vs Robocop

[RoboCop] Freeze I suggest you use your right to remain silent Before I show your Gobot ass some Detroit violence I'm like an X-Wing commander cau...

Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris

Abraham Lincoln: Four score and 65 years in the past I won the Civil War with my beard Now I’m here to whup your ass I’ve read up on your facts You cu...

Hitler vs Vader 2

Adolf Hitler: Who are you? Darth Vader: Someone who loathes you, bitch, now stand up and rhyme I only thawed you out so I could beat your ass a s...

Adam vs Eve

EVE: This Battle's gonna end like every argument does With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub I made a map motherfucker and I'm reading it...

Jack the Ripper vs Hannnibal Lecter

[Jack the Ripper] Oi mate, pass the liquor, it's Jack the Ripper Jack the Rapper, following you way before the dawn of Twitter I'm a human trigger...

Albert Einstein vs Stephen Hawking

Albert Einstein: When I apply my battle theory, minds are relatively blown. So take a seat Steve Oop! I see you brought your own. What’s with your voi...

Adolf Hitler vs Darth Vader

Adolf Hitler: I am Adolf Hitler Commander of the Third Reich Little known fact: Also dope on the mic! You are Vader, with your little boots and cape,...

James Bond vs Austin Powers

[James Bond (Craig)]: I’ve beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are...

Artists vs Turtles

Leonardo da Vinci: Cowabunga, dude, so let's get it on Reptiles against the fathers of the Renaissance We got the classical technique To kick the...

Kim Jong-il vs Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage

Kim Jong-il: The name’s Kim Jong, I got a license to IL Make you swallow my rhymes like a steroids pill Your body looks like a spray tan banana With a...

John Lennon vs Bill O' Reilly

John Lennon: Help, you're making my ears bleed you need a muzzle Why are you pissed off all the time? Didn't your mom give you a cuddle? You're the...

Justin Bieber vs Beethoven

Justin Bieber: Look what the cat dragged back from the dead Man it looks like Chewbacca wiped his ass on your head I’m the next the next Michael Jacks...

Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible

[ Ivan IV Groźny] Look alive Crème de la Kremlin's arriving Try to serve Ivan No surviving You're a land rover, I'm a land expander Here to hand...

Blackbeard vs Al Capone

I come strapped with six pistols and a dagger, Walk under the black flag with a scallywag swagger, Ain't no parrot on my shoulder and no rings in my...

Hitler vs Vader 3

Adolf Hitler: Vader… This is your last chance… Battle me… or die… EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! DARTH VADER! VERSUS! ADOLF HITLER! BEGIN! Adol...

Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso

Picasso: I am the greatest, the modern art Muhammad Ali I melt faces, call me MC Dali Your whole body of work is a fluffy mountain of crap You're the...

Ben Franklin vs Billy Mays

Ben Franklin: I’m big Ben Franklin, and this shant be pretty, Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly. You couldn’t sell Rick James a...

David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini

[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! DAVID COPPERFIELD! VERSUS! HARRY HOUDINI! BEGIN! [Harry Houdini] You've never seen a body quite the same...

Cleopatra Vs Marylin Monroe

Marylin Monroe: Whose rap flow's the dopest? Marylin Monroe's is Overthrow Pharaohs, who oppose me like Moses You could never kick my ass, so kiss...

Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner

[Bruce Banner] I'll school you in this battle of the baddest Bruce With your He-Man haircut and your Daisy Dukes I hear you're good at running, you...

Batman vs Sherlock Holmes

Batman: Nice hat, dork, you look like a duck I had Alfred read your books, he told me they suck I'll crush your British nuts until they're bangers and...

Columbus vs Captain Kirk

Christopher Columbus: Arrivederci, Imma leave before this battle begins... ... ...'Cause we both know in the end which of this captains gonna win...

Bruce Lee vs Clint Eastwood

Bruce Lee: I've got the baddest fists of fury that the world ever saw Defeat whole karate schools and motherfuckers with claws How can you talk mor...

Jim Henson vs Stan Lee

[Stan Lee] Greetings heroes, Stan Lee's here to battle It's the mind behind The Hulk against the geek beneath the Fraggles I'm just your friendly n...

Doctor Who vs Doc Brown

RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! DOC BROWN! VERSUS! DOCTOR WHO! BEGIN! Doctor X: Actually, if you don't mind, it's just The Doctor Doesn't even really...

Dr Seuss vs Shakespeare

William Shakespeare: Come bite my thumb! I hope you know the stakes! I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades Then ask what light through yonde...

Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge

Donald Trump: Wake up, Scrooge, I'm about to take a Dickens of a dump On this lonely, homely little miserable grump I'm like the star on a Christma...

Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton

Hillary: I've been in this game too long; I'm a public servant! Have been since I met MLK in person! I'm a woman of the people; that's for certai...

Epic Rap Battles of History - Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill

[Theodore Roosevelt] Bully! A challenge! I love competition! Now, where would I mount the stuffed head of a Winston? (Ha!) I'm into fitness, digg...

Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson

[Thomas Jefferson] When in the course of human events It becomes necessary for a battle to commence Then kplow! I hit 'em with the illness of my qu...

Easter Bunny vs Genghis Khan

The Easter Bunny: How you gonna battle? I invented hip hoppin. My little tail swinging and my big ears flopping. The Easter Bunny baby, I deserve t...

Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg

[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY ELON MUSK VS MARK ZUCKERBERG BEGIN! [Verse 1: Elon Musk] Call me Musk (uh!), I'm here to help (yeah!) Flu...

Gandalf vs Dumbledore

Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS I rap fast like Shadowfax Tom Riddle me this you b***h how's you're little wand gonna beat my staff I leave mic's in flame...

Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters

Ghostbusters: Are you tired of two geeks in mustaches, Who can manage to be boring with explosions and crashes? If you, or the Lorax, wanna bust l...

Lance Armstrong vs Babe Ruth

[Nicepeter as Lance Armstrong] Before I let loose with this ruthless aggression, I'll let you be the second fat women hearing my confession. I admit...

George Washington vs William Wallace

There's a difference between you and me, Willy! I fought 'till I was actually free, Willy! I got my face on a quarter. You got drawn and quarter...

Martin Luther King Jr vs Ghandi

Gandhi: You Want To Battle Wits, See Who’s A Better Pacifist I Fought The Caste System, But You Still Can Not Touch This! Slumdog Skillionare, Firs...

Goku vs Superman

Superman: Who can stop this constipated jock, With the awful animation and the complicated plot? Who's got the rap bombs to drop on Japan? This l...

Eastern Philosophers Vs Western Philosophers

Eastern Philosophers Vs Western Philosophers Nice Peter & EpicLLOYD FacebookTwitter Share Play [Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! LAO TZU,...

Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child

Gordon Ramsay: And that's how you make a perfect risotto. Right. Mrs. Child, welcome to the grown-ups' table. I've got exactly two minutes, and you...

Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury

Frank Sinatra- Ho! What's wrong with your face? Baby, yikes! With those teeth when you're through there'll be no dust left to bite! Christ, newsflash,...

Master Chief Vs Leonidas

Leonidas: Spartans! Let's start this! Show this petty officer who's the hardest! The biggest mistake that you've ever made I'll toss you like a fr...

Miley Cyrus vs. Joan of Arc

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! JOAN OF ARC vs. MILEY CYRUS! BEGIN! [MILEY]: Let me guess: you're here to hate? well, you can stand in the autog...

Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted

[Lewis and Clark] You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark Cause we cut a path through emcees like a walk in the park And give 'em back a whole s...

Mitt Romney vs Barack Obama

Mitt Romney: I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts. I'm rich. I've got fat stacks and super PACs. We all know what went down in that 2...

Mozart vs Skrillex

Skrillex: My name is Skrillex, man! Welcome to the Devil's Den. I'm a scary monster stomping this sprite in frilly pants You're a weirdo, Wolfy, yo...

Mario Bros vs Wright Bros

Wright Brothers: We're the Wright brothers and there can't be no other We don't wanna cause trouble, are you looking for your lover 'Cause your pri...

Michael Jackson vs Elvis Presley

Michael Jackson: Oooh, Elvis Presley, as I live and breath You stole rock and roll, gave us rockabilly cheese You dance like an epileptic, nothing...

Mr T vs Mr Rogers

Mr T: I pity the fool who tries to step to Clubber Lang Call me BA biceps, 'cause I'll crush your whole gang Being Tuesday, Friday and little troll...

Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison

Thomas Edison: Step up. You'll be shocked when I spit and start static I'll rip your style and add it to my long list of patents While you were bus...

Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD

EpicLLOYD: This is one vid kid that you won't ever survive I'll beat you, dislike you, then unsubscribe You'll be good at rapping someday, I promis...

Michael Jordan vs Muhammad Ali

Michael Jordan: Why don't you dodge this battle like you did Vietnam? Cause you've got as much chance of beating me as Lebron I'm a flying machine, li...

Shaka Zulu Vs. Julius Caesar

[Shaka Zulu] Iwisa, meet Caesar, he's a commander Who thinks he can dance with Conan of the Savannah But when I go hand to hand with you, I go hamm...

Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde

Bonnie and Clyde: I'll handle this darling, I'm known to fire off some BAR's Cause if these lovers cross me they're gonna end up seeing stars I mea...

Rasputin vs Stalin

Rasputin: Cool mustache, Wario, Try messing with the Mad Monk you'll be sorry, yo How many dictators does it take, To turn an empire into a union...

Napoleon Dynamite vs Napoleon Bonaparte

Napoleon Dynamite: Gosh, I can’t believe how much of a little b***h you are. When it comes to world leaders, you like literally lowered the bar. I’ll...

Oprah vs Ellen

[Ellen DeGeneres] Hey God, it's me, Ellen, can I ask you a question? How do I tell my friend Oprah she's gonna get more whipped than Stedman? I'll...

Sarah Palin vs Lady Gaga

Sarah Palin: Oh boy look what we have here a transvestite with a keyboard trying to be freak of the year. Your voice sounds like a rooster having s...

Rick Grimes vs Walter White

Rick Grimes Carl, stay back, this is gonna get bad, I'm about show this lab rat how to be a real dad, A grade-A MC who will ruin your A1 Day,...

Santa Claus vs Moses

Santa Claus: Sweet robes, Obi Wan too many days in the sun, Stop preachin' homie, teach your flock to covet some fun! I bring joy every year, man I...