Tekst piosenki
Eastern Philosophers Vs Western Philosophers
Nice Peter & EpicLLOYD
FacebookTwitter Share Play
[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
LAO TZU, SUN TZU, AND CONFUCIUS!
VERSUS!
NIETZSCHE, SOCRATES, AND VOLTAIRE!
BEGIN!
[Socrates]
I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium
Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium
The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention
[Nietzsche]
Rolling with the flyest nihilist
[Voltaire]
And me, their French henchman
[Nietzsche]
We got the wisdom
[Voltaire]
And the wit
[Socrates]
That even I couldn't question
[Voltaire]
Dropping Western medicine
[West]
On these East infections
[Nietzsche]
It's evident
[Voltaire]
You've never been
[West]
Our type of mental brethren
We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men
[Confucius]
This type of arrogance is sure to be expected
From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is
[Lao Tzu]
You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life
You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic
[Sun Tzu]
While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration
[Confucius]
Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations
[Sun Tzu]
We filled a nation
[Lao Tzu]
With patience
[Sun Tzu]
And the presence
[Confucius]
For living
[East]
And you’ll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written
[Nietzsche]
Oh, I’ll give you something you can bow and kowtow to
When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu
You need to take control of the life you’re given
Call me Ubermensch, cause I’m so driven
[Voltaire]
And I’m a freethinker
So confronting conformists like you? It’s my job
Got a sharp wit, like a spit that’ll skewer you like a Confu-shish-kebab (Oh!)
You flubbed the mission, I'm beating your submissive ass into submission
Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays that I've been publishing
[Socrates]
Now that we’ve covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move onto Jackie Chan
Sun Tzu, I’ll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man
This seminal general isn’t so tough on the mic
All your men must be like, 'yo, what happened?'
You’re pitiful lyrically
Lucky for history, you didn’t author the Art of Rapping
[Sun Tzu]
Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out
These white boys getting burned ‘cause guess what?
Now the Sun’s out
Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn’t SARS
Laozi, kick the beat, now Confucius, drop some bars
[Confucius]
Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire
French drip with the egg noodle hair
Your ego’s just so distracting
Free speech doesn’t mean just keep yapping
And you killed God, so I gotta ask:
Did he die of shame when he made your moustache?
You try to plan a new German psyche
But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy
[Sun Tzu]
And it all starts with you, you’re the father, Socrates
Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology
[Nietzsche]
I wouldn’t exactly call myself a student of this plebe
Don’t make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi
Cause I’m N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E
And I’ll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee
[Socrates]
Plebe, bitch? I’m toxic like a hemlock sip
Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc’s dick
[Voltaire]
Sacrebleu, Socrates! You’re making things a little tense
Come, let’s blind these Chinese hinies with some shiny bright enlightenment
[Socrates]
I will not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery
You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee
[Voltaire]
Let me be frank, don’t start beef with The Frank
Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks
[Sun Tzu]
I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity
[Lao Tzu]
You must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty
[Sun Tzu]
Ugh, Laozi, I don’t mean no disrespect
But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense
[Lao Tzu]
Oh, you don’t want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today
I’ll make you move, bitch, get out the way
[Confucius]
Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written
That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens?
[Sun Tzu]
Man, Confucius, you always trying to put something in its place
Why don’t you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face?
[Confucius]
Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that?
I’ll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat
So here’s the real golden rule, I’m way above you weak rookies
Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies
[Outro]
WHAT IS WINNING?
WHO IS NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC!
QUIET!!!
RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
Ostatnio szukane utwory:
Rebels of Our Time
Majesty
I am calling all the last ones, who seek purpose for their Life When you're tired of the Shit just escape from their daily Grind There are many Rebe...
Metal Law 2006
Majesty
In a night of glory, a night of history The troops began to march for revolution Can you feel the fire, it’s burning in your dreams Set the black flam...
Lord of the Damned
Majesty
[Verse 1] A bloodred moon, a landscape black and grey. A rotting graveyard, bones are on it's ways. There we're standing, black robes we wear. To call...
Mavericks Supreme
Majesty
It is an age of total disorder The ruthless rule with pain No matter what you try to ignore them They reach out with their hate Now is the time t...
Plaża nad Wisłą
Maja i Dandysi
Na małej plaży nad Wisłą, Gdy słońce pożerał horyzont Siedziałeś z tą samą miną, W dialogu bezchmurnym dzień ginął Pod starym mostem white wi...
Szczery rap
Majonez
Życie to nie golf, jak w dołek wpadniesz, to nie cieszy, Takie czasy, nie cieszysz się z małych rzeczy, Weź w pizdu te rady, melanże, ważne zaufanie...
Generation Steel
Majesty
We are the sons and the daughters of fire Oh Oh Oh Live wild and free is our highest desire Oh Oh Oh We're born to rock 'till the days of perditio...
March for Victrory
Majesty
Heat of the night caused by flames of war Burning in the moonlight When the soldiers unite for a sacred law And the armies march through lands wide I...
Freedom Warriors (2011 version)
Majesty
[Verse 1] Riders of the underground I want to see you rise On a lighting I can see the signs of freedom Deep inside your eyes We are riding [B...
Make Some Noise
Majesty
In the heat of the night, when the tension is right Let’s get out and have a mighty adventure You are born to be free, don’t you raise any plea Joi...
On a Mountain High
Majesty
I'm standing here on a mountain high Defender of the damned My battle cry sounding through the air All over the land I'm waiting here for my time...
Nowhere Man
Majesty
I'm living fast - that's how I am I'll be never a nowhere man Stand up and fight to make a stand I'll be never a nowhere man Hey you - live the road...
Own the Crown
Majesty
[Verse 1] When the thunder is calling and the nightshade is falling See the falcon in the storm I will ride ‘till the morning, ‘till the sunlight i...
Guardians of the Dragon Grail
Majesty
Dragon come over sea, we will fly eternally We are guardians of the dragon grail Deep in the forest of wisdom High on the mountains we found resort H...
Pray and Die (demo)
Majesty
[Prelude] In a time when the evil stats to rise A time, when fire burns in your eyes Emotionally destructed, frightened and depressed every day He...
Melt Thy Steel
Majesty
Melt thy steel in the fire And let the power flow It's the art of the warrior The wisdom of the old Melt thy steel, forge your sword than Anneal...
Reign in Glory
Majesty
There comes the fire, a thundering light. It is a symbol, a symbol of might For all the sons and daughters of steel. Let's get armed and storm the...
Metal on the Road
Majesty
[Verse 1] Another night, let us enter the bus Heading down on the road Getting out when the weels standing still Another city to rock [Verse 2]...
Raise the Beast
Majesty
I can feel the presence of forgotten souls of darkness When I close my eyes I see the antic of the beast As the night falling I can feel my inborn c...
Metal To The Metalheads
Majesty
Now the storm is coming, we're riding through the night. When the thunder comes down, Brothers shout it out loud: We rise!! The power of Heavy Metal...
Ostatnio dodane piosenki
She calls out to the man on the street "Sir, can you help me? It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep Is there somewhere you can tell me?" He walks on...
I'm holding on your rope Got me ten feet off the ground And I'm hearing what you say But I just can't make a sound You tell me that you need me T...
Wszystko ma tutaj wielki sens ścieżki spętane przerażeniem świątek srożący się przy drodze i w ustach chleba kwaśny kęs Wszystko ma tutaj...
Nocami być razem jest prościej, we władzy ciała jest dusza, nic nas nie drażni, nie złości, poważnych tematów się nie porusza. Zamykam oczy i b...
Chcę wolne od zaraz Chcę wyjechać daleko Chcę pobyć tam sama Chcę się poczuć tam lekko Chcę wolne natychmiast Chcę inny krajobraz I dźwięki,...
Zeszłam ze szczytu w nowej sukience Nikt mnie nie widzi, może nadal tam jestem Byłam na szczycie, stamtąd trudno jest dostrzec Że w mieście moim są...
Nie rozumiesz Nie rozumiesz Jak bardzo kocham Cię ! Czy to wszytko poszło w piach? Czy to wszystko zniszczył czas ? Płoniemy, płoniemy Teraz p...
Freon (ft. Dawid Podsiadło, Duit)
[Zwrotka 1: Oskar] Później leżą patrząc w sufit, to spółka w takich bajkach Szlugi, potem drugi, kółka z Lucky Strike'a Na podłodze sterta ubrań: m...
Zabierz tę miłość (ft. Julia Wieniawa)
Zabierz tę miłość Nie mogę jej już znieść Uczucia giną Jak deszcz i śnieg Poganiam je Wyprzedzasz mnie Przecież też wiesz Mijamy się Moja ni...
[Intro: Rafał Walentynowicz] O 15:30 Solar i Białas w asyście ochroniarzy, policji i straży miejskiej pojawili się w Liceum im. Batorego w Warszawie....
Za krótki sen (ft. Dawid Podsiadło)
To był tylko za krótki sen Przeleciałam przez palce w cień Tuż pod tafla się rozbił nurt Szara woda porwała mnie To był tylko za krótki sen Pow...
Przypływy (ft. Ralph Kaminski)
Z prądem przypłynąłeś do mnie Zatrzęsienie Krąży we mnie teraz wszystko Dokąd – nie wiem Czy to normalne jest By z dnia na dzień oszaleć tak M...
Słodka jak truskawki latem A trzyma w łapie tylko kubek słonych łez Skromna jak pole fiołkowe I to w ponury dzień Ej, chyba dzwoni kurier Tylko s...
Nie wiem czy to miało sens Hulać tak, hulać tak Kolejny raz Carpe diem z dnia na dzień A potem sza Cicho sza, cicho sza Sorka za ten telefon...
Na serio tak wleciała z takim różowym outfitem, cała odpalona Wyszła z limuzyny Wchodzę do szkoły dobrze ubrana SGH, Dolce Gabbana Wreszcie Juli...
Wakacje w Warszawie idą całkiem płynnie Ty wciąż tańczysz, ja wciąż oblewam siebie winem Taki chyba biznes Robię ci już setne zdjęcie Sama nie wie...
Zakochałam się w nieznajomym Zobaczyłam go w tramawaju Chyba w dziesiątce Na wyścigi bez biletu błądzę Na pierwszą lekcję nieprzygotowana Spóźnię...
nie byłem sam choć bylem sam i mówię wam, ze to zero dram i mogę grać dalej stać nie będę bać się uwierz waść nie chcesz mnie znać nie chce c...
Niech widza jaka z nas jest para Od różańca i browara Wszyscy się na nas patrzą W rytm tańca klaszczą Zobacz jestem idealna spadam z nieba jak ma...
Wow Chuja kładę na was robię czystkę Niepozorny chłopiec, który rozjebie Ci biznes Wkoło cały dzień, cały dzień piszę listy Sobel przecież nie jes...
Inne piosenki wykonawcy
Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe
Edgar Allan Poe: Once upon a midnight dreary, as I spit this weak and weary, I will choke this joker with a trochee till his cheeks are teary But...
Sir Isaac Newton Of all the scientific minds in history they put Beaker in a bow tie up against me ? I'm a master I discovered gravity I drop rh...
Steven Spielberg vs Alfred Hitchcock
STEVEN SPIELBERG: Picture a child sitting next to a projector Learning from your films to become a much better director Now picture a 3 billion dol...
[Zeus] How dare you challenge my immortal throne? I'm the father of the gods, put your daddy on the phone Maybe Odin could beg me for a truce, caus...
Steve Jobs: Let me just step right in, I got things to invent I'm an innovator baby, change the world Fortune 500 'fore you kissed a girl I'm a pi...
[RoboCop] Freeze I suggest you use your right to remain silent Before I show your Gobot ass some Detroit violence I'm like an X-Wing commander cau...
Abraham Lincoln: Four score and 65 years in the past I won the Civil War with my beard Now I’m here to whup your ass I’ve read up on your facts You cu...
Adolf Hitler: Who are you? Darth Vader: Someone who loathes you, bitch, now stand up and rhyme I only thawed you out so I could beat your ass a s...
EVE: This Battle's gonna end like every argument does With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub I made a map motherfucker and I'm reading it...
Jack the Ripper vs Hannnibal Lecter
[Jack the Ripper] Oi mate, pass the liquor, it's Jack the Ripper Jack the Rapper, following you way before the dawn of Twitter I'm a human trigger...
Albert Einstein vs Stephen Hawking
Albert Einstein: When I apply my battle theory, minds are relatively blown. So take a seat Steve Oop! I see you brought your own. What’s with your voi...
Adolf Hitler: I am Adolf Hitler Commander of the Third Reich Little known fact: Also dope on the mic! You are Vader, with your little boots and cape,...
J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin
Brace yourself! Gather up your trolls and your soldier Elves! And your Ents and your Orcs and your Wargs and your Stings Your Dwarves and Glamdring...
[James Bond (Craig)]: I’ve beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are...
Leonardo da Vinci: Cowabunga, dude, so let's get it on Reptiles against the fathers of the Renaissance We got the classical technique To kick the...
Kim Jong-il vs Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage
Kim Jong-il: The name’s Kim Jong, I got a license to IL Make you swallow my rhymes like a steroids pill Your body looks like a spray tan banana With a...
John Lennon: Help, you're making my ears bleed you need a muzzle Why are you pissed off all the time? Didn't your mom give you a cuddle? You're the...
Justin Bieber: Look what the cat dragged back from the dead Man it looks like Chewbacca wiped his ass on your head I’m the next the next Michael Jacks...
Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible
[ Ivan IV Groźny] Look alive Crème de la Kremlin's arriving Try to serve Ivan No surviving You're a land rover, I'm a land expander Here to hand...
I come strapped with six pistols and a dagger, Walk under the black flag with a scallywag swagger, Ain't no parrot on my shoulder and no rings in my...
Adolf Hitler: Vader… This is your last chance… Battle me… or die… EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! DARTH VADER! VERSUS! ADOLF HITLER! BEGIN! Adol...
Picasso: I am the greatest, the modern art Muhammad Ali I melt faces, call me MC Dali Your whole body of work is a fluffy mountain of crap You're the...
Ben Franklin: I’m big Ben Franklin, and this shant be pretty, Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly. You couldn’t sell Rick James a...
David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini
[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! DAVID COPPERFIELD! VERSUS! HARRY HOUDINI! BEGIN! [Harry Houdini] You've never seen a body quite the same...
Marylin Monroe: Whose rap flow's the dopest? Marylin Monroe's is Overthrow Pharaohs, who oppose me like Moses You could never kick my ass, so kiss...
[Bruce Banner] I'll school you in this battle of the baddest Bruce With your He-Man haircut and your Daisy Dukes I hear you're good at running, you...
Batman: Nice hat, dork, you look like a duck I had Alfred read your books, he told me they suck I'll crush your British nuts until they're bangers and...
Christopher Columbus: Arrivederci, Imma leave before this battle begins... ... ...'Cause we both know in the end which of this captains gonna win...
Bruce Lee: I've got the baddest fists of fury that the world ever saw Defeat whole karate schools and motherfuckers with claws How can you talk mor...
[Stan Lee] Greetings heroes, Stan Lee's here to battle It's the mind behind The Hulk against the geek beneath the Fraggles I'm just your friendly n...
RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! DOC BROWN! VERSUS! DOCTOR WHO! BEGIN! Doctor X: Actually, if you don't mind, it's just The Doctor Doesn't even really...
William Shakespeare: Come bite my thumb! I hope you know the stakes! I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades Then ask what light through yonde...
Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge
Donald Trump: Wake up, Scrooge, I'm about to take a Dickens of a dump On this lonely, homely little miserable grump I'm like the star on a Christma...
Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton
Hillary: I've been in this game too long; I'm a public servant! Have been since I met MLK in person! I'm a woman of the people; that's for certai...
Epic Rap Battles of History - Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill
[Theodore Roosevelt] Bully! A challenge! I love competition! Now, where would I mount the stuffed head of a Winston? (Ha!) I'm into fitness, digg...
Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson
[Thomas Jefferson] When in the course of human events It becomes necessary for a battle to commence Then kplow! I hit 'em with the illness of my qu...
The Easter Bunny: How you gonna battle? I invented hip hoppin. My little tail swinging and my big ears flopping. The Easter Bunny baby, I deserve t...
[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY ELON MUSK VS MARK ZUCKERBERG BEGIN! [Verse 1: Elon Musk] Call me Musk (uh!), I'm here to help (yeah!) Flu...
Gandalf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS I rap fast like Shadowfax Tom Riddle me this you b***h how's you're little wand gonna beat my staff I leave mic's in flame...
Ghostbusters: Are you tired of two geeks in mustaches, Who can manage to be boring with explosions and crashes? If you, or the Lorax, wanna bust l...
[Nicepeter as Lance Armstrong] Before I let loose with this ruthless aggression, I'll let you be the second fat women hearing my confession. I admit...
George Washington vs William Wallace
There's a difference between you and me, Willy! I fought 'till I was actually free, Willy! I got my face on a quarter. You got drawn and quarter...
Martin Luther King Jr vs Ghandi
Gandhi: You Want To Battle Wits, See Who’s A Better Pacifist I Fought The Caste System, But You Still Can Not Touch This! Slumdog Skillionare, Firs...
Superman: Who can stop this constipated jock, With the awful animation and the complicated plot? Who's got the rap bombs to drop on Japan? This l...
Gordon Ramsay: And that's how you make a perfect risotto. Right. Mrs. Child, welcome to the grown-ups' table. I've got exactly two minutes, and you...
Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury
Frank Sinatra- Ho! What's wrong with your face? Baby, yikes! With those teeth when you're through there'll be no dust left to bite! Christ, newsflash,...
Leonidas: Spartans! Let's start this! Show this petty officer who's the hardest! The biggest mistake that you've ever made I'll toss you like a fr...
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! JOAN OF ARC vs. MILEY CYRUS! BEGIN! [MILEY]: Let me guess: you're here to hate? well, you can stand in the autog...
Lewis and Clark vs Bill and Ted
[Lewis and Clark] You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark Cause we cut a path through emcees like a walk in the park And give 'em back a whole s...
Mitt Romney: I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts. I'm rich. I've got fat stacks and super PACs. We all know what went down in that 2...
Skrillex: My name is Skrillex, man! Welcome to the Devil's Den. I'm a scary monster stomping this sprite in frilly pants You're a weirdo, Wolfy, yo...
Wright Brothers: We're the Wright brothers and there can't be no other We don't wanna cause trouble, are you looking for your lover 'Cause your pri...
Michael Jackson vs Elvis Presley
Michael Jackson: Oooh, Elvis Presley, as I live and breath You stole rock and roll, gave us rockabilly cheese You dance like an epileptic, nothing...
Mr T: I pity the fool who tries to step to Clubber Lang Call me BA biceps, 'cause I'll crush your whole gang Being Tuesday, Friday and little troll...
Thomas Edison: Step up. You'll be shocked when I spit and start static I'll rip your style and add it to my long list of patents While you were bus...
EpicLLOYD: This is one vid kid that you won't ever survive I'll beat you, dislike you, then unsubscribe You'll be good at rapping someday, I promis...
Michael Jordan vs Muhammad Ali
Michael Jordan: Why don't you dodge this battle like you did Vietnam? Cause you've got as much chance of beating me as Lebron I'm a flying machine, li...
[Shaka Zulu] Iwisa, meet Caesar, he's a commander Who thinks he can dance with Conan of the Savannah But when I go hand to hand with you, I go hamm...
Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde
Bonnie and Clyde: I'll handle this darling, I'm known to fire off some BAR's Cause if these lovers cross me they're gonna end up seeing stars I mea...
Rasputin: Cool mustache, Wario, Try messing with the Mad Monk you'll be sorry, yo How many dictators does it take, To turn an empire into a union...
Napoleon Dynamite vs Napoleon Bonaparte
Napoleon Dynamite: Gosh, I can’t believe how much of a little b***h you are. When it comes to world leaders, you like literally lowered the bar. I’ll...
[Ellen DeGeneres] Hey God, it's me, Ellen, can I ask you a question? How do I tell my friend Oprah she's gonna get more whipped than Stedman? I'll...
Sarah Palin: Oh boy look what we have here a transvestite with a keyboard trying to be freak of the year. Your voice sounds like a rooster having s...
Rick Grimes Carl, stay back, this is gonna get bad, I'm about show this lab rat how to be a real dad, A grade-A MC who will ruin your A1 Day,...
Santa Claus: Sweet robes, Obi Wan too many days in the sun, Stop preachin' homie, teach your flock to covet some fun! I bring joy every year, man I...