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Tekst piosenki

[JASON]

Baruch, baruch atah

Baruch atah Adonai

Baruch atah Adonai eloheinu

Melech haolam

Asher kidshanu, asher kidshanu

V'tzivanu l'hitateif batzitzit


[TRINA]

Jason dear, hello

Are you packed and waiting?

But before we go

Let me speak with father alone


Now as the bar mitzvah nears—

Jason, put your Walkerman on and hum

Since this is the last loving thing

We'll probably ever do together

Let's act adult and not go crazy


[MARVIN]

Have you chosen yet who'll cater?


[TRINA]

What about it?


[MARVIN]

I know a person who can cater


[TRINA]

It's a personal decision who should cater


[MARVIN]

Can we consider who's gonna cater?


[TRINA]

Shh!


[MARVIN]

Please?


[TRINA]

Shh!


[MARVIN]

Please?


[TRINA]

Shh!


[MENDEL]

Stop! This is so much crap

Throw a simple party!

Religion's just a trap

That ensnares the weak and the dumb

Stop with the prayers


[TRINA]

How can you stop with the prayers at a bar mitzvah?


[MENDEL]

The whole thing's voodoo

And I know more than you do!


[MARVIN & TRINA]

This is the year of Jason's bar mitzvah!

We're more excited than we should be

This is the year of the child

When he spreads out his wings!

There's music in his heart!

His life's about to start!

His body's going wild!

My child


[MARVIN]

My child


[TRINA]

Our child


[MENDEL]

Children, please

Throw the kid a celebration and relax

I'll bring women from the wrong side of the tracks

We'll have a ball!

I guess I'll have to raise this Jason myself


[MARVIN]

Isn't he an asshole?


[TRINA]---------------------[MENDEL]

Yes, he is.--------------------My own bar mitzvah was


[MARVIN]

Isn't he too much?----------A miserable occasion


[TRINA]

Yeah, but so are you--------The cause for such

Really, kiddo, so are you----Abrasion in my family


[MARVIN]

Jesus, what an asshole!----It still gives me hives

Jason, where's my hug?


[TRINA]

Where's my hug?


[MARVIN]

Where's my hug?


[MARVIN, TRINA, & MENDEL]

This is the year for Jason's bar mitzvah

This is the year for Jason's bar mitzvah!


[Doorbell rings]


[CHARLOTTE]

Look, look, look, look, look

It's a lesbian from next door!


[CORDELIA]

Followed by her lover

Who's a lesbian from next door too!

And I've got food for you

Delicious food for you!

Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine!


[TRINA]

Ah...


[CORDELIA]

Here's dietetic knishes, gefilte fishes

Food that's from the heart!

So take a bite and see

If all your friends agree

It's good!


[MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, & CORDELIA]

Yummy yummy

Yummy yummy

Yummy yummy

Yummy yummy

Yummy yummy yummy yummy yum!


We'll have one perfect time!

We'll spend billions of dollars!


[CORDELIA]

Conga!


[MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, & CORDELIA]

We'll have flowers galore (Whoo!)

And the band will sound fine! (Whoo!)

There'll be chandeliers set round the room

With the men in tuxedos!


There'll be food, like food never before!

What a day to remember!

This is the year of Jason's bar mitzvah!


[JASON]

They're more excited than they should be


[MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, & CORDELIA]

This is the year of the child

When he spreads out his wings!

There's music in his heart!

His life's about to start!

His body's going wild!

My

Child! 

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