Tekst piosenki
[WHIZZER, spoken]
A day in Falsettoland
Dr. Mendel at work
[MENDEL]
I don't get it
I don't understand
In the '60s, everyone had heart
In the '60s, we were all a part of the same team
In the '60s, we had a new world to start
Could this–
Oh God, don't say it is–
Could this be the new world we started?
Here I sit, brokenhearted and...
[CAROLINE, spoken]
You go out on the street, and there's all these people asking for a handout. Then you go home, you open your mail, and it's full of people asking for a donation. Then, you turn on the TV, and there's pictures of starving children in Ethiopia
[MENDEL, spoken]
And how does that make you feel, Diane?
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Caroline
[MENDEL, spoken]
Caroline?
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Yes, my name is Caroline
My God!
[MENDEL]
I don't get it
I've been left behind
Half my patients: Yuppie pagans
Modeled on the Ronald Reagans
Now the world is too pathetic
And I don't get it at all
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Now that I got the promotion, can I finally stop sleeping with my boss?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Time's up!
[CAROLINE, spoken]
You always do this!
[The patient exits.]
[MENDEL]
At least there's Trina at home
Trina in bed
Trina obsessing
And sort of caressing
My head with her feet
I once thought it was sweet
But I don't anymore
Now I just snore
'Cause I'm so exhausted
Listening to these yuppie farts complain
Listening as their shallow hearts explain
Their lives
[CHARLOTTE, spoken]
Trina works it out
[Trina enters, stretching, and dressed for a work out.]
[TRINA]
Marvin's back with Whizzer
Just like how it was
If I don't like Whizzer
It's because my ex sure does
Why should that upset me?
Sometimes I'm a lout
Mendel serenades, and Jason calms me
Why should I be wilting
When their precious love is not in doubt?
Work it out!
[JASON, spoken]
The neighbors relax after work
[Cordelia enters with food. Charlotte enters their home.]
[CORDELIA]
How was your day at the hospital?
[CHARLOTTE]
Unbelievable
What is that smell?
[CORDELIA]
Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine
I've been practicing
Cuisine, bar mitzvah, nouvelle
[Cordelia hands Charlotte some food. Mendel joins Trina, now also dressed to work out.]
[MENDEL, spoken]
Hi, honey
[CORDELIA]
Well...?
[TRINA]
Hi, honey
[MENDEL]
How was your day?
[TRINA]
It was terrible
Did you hear that Marvin's back with Whizzer?
Marvin's back with Whizzer!
[MENDEL]
Drop it, sweetheart
Give it up
You know I love you
What's the matter, Trina darling?
I don't get it
Why can't you let go?
[TRINA]
Maybe in a mile, I'll be okay
I'll be happy when we finally have this bar mitzvah
[MENDEL]
Isn't it enough
I want you every night?
[TRINA, spoken]
Who?
[MENDEL]
Every other night?
[TRINA, spoken]
Me?
[MENDEL]
Every third night?
[TRINA]
Hm...
[MENDEL, spoken]
Okay, let's drop it
(sung)
Everything will be alright
[TRINA]
Everything will be alright
[MENDEL & TRINA]
Everything will be alright
[Cordelia has just poured Charlotte a martini.]
[CORDELIA]
How was your day
At the hospital?
[CHARLOTTE]
It was wonderful
For the first time in months
Nobody died
[CORDELIA, spoken]
Yay..?
[CHARLOTTE]
There were just
Heart attacks and gallstones;
Light bulbs up the ass;
Fake appendicitis which was gas
Which I diagnosed;
People overdosed and I saved them
I saved young people, old people
One priest and one high school principal
Saving lives, I feel invincible
Yes I do
Do you know how great my life is?
Do you know how great my life is?
Saving lives and loving you
[CORDELIA]
You save lives and I save chicken fat
I can't fucking deal with that!
[CHARLOTTE]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is
[CHARLOTTE]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is
[CHARLOTTE]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is
[CHARLOTTE]
Saving lives
[BOTH]
And loving you
[Marvin and Whizzer enter, dressed for Racquetball and holding racquets. Whizzer is all in white, looking great. Marvin is in baggy and colorful jams, looking baggy. No ball is used; rather, when they make a shot, the racquet scrapes the floor and sounds like a ball ricocheting off a racquet. Their scene is played in the court. In the course of the scene, Whizzer decimates Marvin, as you would expect.]
[WHIZZER]
Ha
It bounced twice
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Yeah, once, then twice
You know it did
[MARVIN]
That's not nice
[WHIZZER]
No, it isn't
But you're a pain in the ass
[MARVIN]
You're a beast
But, at least
When you play me, you win
[WHIZZER]
You give up
[MARVIN]
I perspire
[WHIZZER]
Where's the heat?
Where's the fire?
Used to be you desire
To fight!
So fight!
[MARVIN]
So play!
[Whizzer doesn't move an inch; he's in total control. Marvin is killing himself trying to get his racquet on the ball.]
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[Finally, by mistake, Marvin hits a good shot.]
[WHIZZER]
Lucky dink!
[MARVIN]
I'm finessing
[WHIZZER]
Something stinks in how you play
[MARVIN]
Don't you think it's a blessing
I'm so pathetically bad?
[WHIZZER]
Just stay back
Serve with force
I'll attack
And, of course
I will win
Just give in
To bliss
And kiss...
[MARVIN]
Let's go!
Do you know?
All I want
Is you
Anything you do
Is all right
Yes, it's all right
Do you know?
All I want is...
You
[WHIZZER]
Down the alley
High lob
Low drive
Ceiling shot
Into the corner
Four walls
Dink
[WHIZZER, spoken]
What?
[MARVIN, spoken]
What?
[WHIZZER]
Hit your shoe
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Yes it did
The game is through
[MARVIN]
That's not nice
[WHIZZER]
No, it isn't
[MARVIN]
God, you're a pain in the ass
[WHIZZER]
Play it raw
Don't play pretty
Sex and games
In New York City
Have got to be played with flair
And passion
And passion and flair
[MARVIN & WHIZZER]
Do you know
all I want is you?
Anything you do
is alright
Yes it's alright
[CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA]
Do you know how great my life is?
Do you know how great my life is?
Everything will be alright!
Everything will be alright!
[MARVIN, WHIZZER, MENDEL, TRINA, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA (dispersedly)]
Everything will be alright!
Everything will
Everything will
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright
Feel alright
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright for the rest of your
Rest of your
Everything will be alright!
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Inne piosenki wykonawcy
[WHIZZER] Hang up all your clothes [MARVIN] Whizzer begs [WHIZZER] Whizzer knows [MARVIN] Shave your legs [WHIZZER] Make me sick [MARVI...
This Had Better Come to a Stop
[WHIZZER] Late for dinner, late again [WHIZZER & TRINA] Late for dinner, late again [WHIZZER, MARVIN, JASON, & TRINA] Late for dinner,...
[MARVIN] Well, the situation's this; I don't want to cause a stink I divorced my wife She dried her eyes Then she ran off with my shrink Bu...
[MARVIN] Well, the situation's this I do not wish to offend I divorced my wife I left my child And I ran off with a friend But I want a tight-k...
[TRINA] Please forgive my former shpieling— It does not concern the man As for doubts that I've been feeling I'll ignore them when I can And the...
[TRINA] I'm tired of all the happy men who rule the world They grow—of that I'm sure They grow—but don't mature I'd like the chance to hide in tha...
[MARVIN] What would I do If I had not met you? Who would I blame my life on? Once I was told That all men get what they deserve Who the hell the...
[The lights rise on MARVIN and WHIZZER in bed. Slats of morning light cover the designer sheets. Above their heads is a Mapplethorpe of a calla lily....
[JASON] Baruch, baruch atah Baruch atah Adonai Baruch atah Adonai eloheinu Melech haolam Asher kidshanu, asher kidshanu V'tzivanu l'hitateif bat...
[WHIZZER] Okay— When the doctor started using phrases like "You'll pass away" What could I say? I said Doctor In plain English Tell me why was...
[FOUR MEN] Four Jews in a room bitching; Four Jews in a room plot a crime I'm bitching. He's bitching They're bitching. We're bitching Bitch bit...
[JASON] Hello, God I don't think we've ever really spoken If you'd kindly allow How about a miracle now? I don't know if you exist I can't hear...
[MENDEL] Jason I am agitato grande Jason, I am muy disgutante And muy disappointe And muy nauseatus And me mitzraim Hotzionoo Dayenu Everyon...
[TRINA] Jason, if you want a Bar Mitzvah God knows, you can have a Bar Mitzvah But I have to know And I have to know now Just what it is you want...
[CHARLOTTE] People might think I'm very dyke-ish I make a big stink when I must, but goddamn I'm just professional, never too nonchalant If I'm a...
[MENDEL] Homosexuals Women with children Short insomniacs We're a teeny tiny band Lovers come and lovers go Lovers live and die fortissimo This...
[MENDEL] Sit down, my dear I hear you have a problem I'm sure you're not disgusting or indiscreet Take a load off your feet [TRINA] Thank you...
[JASON] Whizzer, hey! Suddenly it all came clear: I said, let's have my bar mitzvah here! [MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, JASON, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA] Su...
[MENDEL] Homosexuals Women with children Short insomniacs And a teeny tiny band Come, back in The welcome mat is on the floor Let's, begin Th...
[TRINA] I never wanted to love you I only wanted to love and not be blamed Let me go, you should know I'm not ashamed To have loved you [MENDEL...
[JASON] My father says that love Is the most beautiful thing in the world I think girls are I think girls are the most Beautiful thing Not love...
[WHIZZER] Good morning [MARVIN] Whizzer, kid, you're looking very good today You had to see yourself a few days back I had a heart attack! Jesu...
[TRINA] I'd like to be a princess on a throne To have a country I can call my own And a king Who's lusty and requires a fling With a female thing...
[JASON] Just look at me I'm a world-class traveler Each Friday night Travel travel travel From her house to his house First take the 104 With m...
[MARVIN] Hello, Trina, thank you for sending this Goodness, Trina, I am relieved Frankly, Trina, nice of you sending this Thank you, Trina, I have...
[JASON] This is how you make a marriage proposal [MENDEL] I love you, dear I think you're swell You're never near me close enough to tell If I'...
[JASON] Dot Nardoni, Tiffany Axelrod Zoe Feinstein, Angelina Dellibovi Bunny Doyne, or what's her name Mo Cristofaro And Ellie Mazie Rosenthal's...
[JASON] Mr. Mendel I get apoplexy thinking of my father I resemble him in far too many ways His sad demeanor The way he acts the swine At...
[MENDEL & TRINA] Welcome to our humble place We're concerned with setting a tone With filling the space Making a home [MENDEL] She becomes...
[TRINA] I was sure growing up I would live the life My mother assumed I'd live Very Jewish, very middle-class, and very straight Where healthy men...
[WHIZZER] It bounced in [MARVIN] No, it didn't [WHIZZER] Hit the line, you know it did [MARVIN] Just begin [WHIZZER] Are you kidding? Wh...
[MARVIN, WHIZZER, JASON, AND MENDEL] March. March March of the Falsettos March of the Falsettos Whee! Who is Man enough to march to March of th...
[MENDEL, spoken] Hello? [TRINA] Dr. Mendel, please [MENDEL] This is Mendel Weisenbachfeld [TRINA] Dr. Mendel, vis-a-vis what Marvin did Or...
[MARVIN] That's the king. Treat him nice Use some brains; now protect him [WHIZZER] Yes, I know. Here I go [MARVIN] Play the game [WHIZZER]...
My Father's a Homo/ Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist
[JASON] My father's a homo My mother's not thrilled at all Father homo: What about chromosomes? Do they carry? Will they carry? Who's the homo...
[JASON] My father says that love Is the most beautiful thing in the world I think games are I think chess is the most Beautiful thing Not love...
[WHIZZER] I don't look for trouble I do not accept blame I've a good and a bad side But they're one and the same Ask me to arouse you I will ris...
[MARVIN, TRINA, MENDEL, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA] We’re sitting And watching Jason play baseball We’re watching Jason play baseball! We’re watching Jew...
Something Bad Is Happening (Reprise)
[DR. CHARLOTTE] Something bad is happening Something very bad is happening Something that kills Something infectious Something that spreads From...