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When I've Lost Myself


When I've lost myself,

I've lost my thoughts, passions and desires,

only grey thick fog of oblivion remained,

devouring all around, bitter taste of sorrow

on my lips remained,

and a sharp blade,

cutting to pieces

the sole mind self-confidence dogma, created through many long years by the blind faith.

Torn waste remained,

a waste of a piece of bygone truth,

decaying like a rotten substance

under the fingers.


Hot water remained, red-hue hot water in the bathroom, on a material ground;

very blunt but already native tender knife in unruly hands...


The blind faith has been betrayed,

rich pulp of a dream has lost its taste.

Lots of mirrors surround me,

in them I see conceited images of the ones with whom I had

the honour to enjoy the appearance

of the same world in the past.

When they see me, so amorphous now,

they break their mirrors ensuring legal

independence and spiritual firmness

for themselves. I lie on the crossing of floor and cosmos:

my physical body is too exhausted to move

- there's no direction,

and I, heeding not the thousands of voices

from below and from above,

trying to keep on a thin skilfully finished

bridge, I walk down The Chosen Path.

But memories come back,

and shining fragments of the beautiful carved

railing of the bridge

fall down into the abyss...


When I've lost myself,

I've lost my thoughts, passions and desires,

only grey thick fog of oblivion remained,

devouring all around, bitter taste of sorrow

on my lips remained,

and a sharp blade...


the railing has never existed,

and below the thick rotten fog shrouds my feet:

if a wound is to heal over, it must ache... 

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