Tekst piosenki
잘 나가는 아이돌 랩퍼 그 이면에
나약한 자신이 서 있어 조금 위험해
우울증 강박 때때로 다시금 도져
hell no 어쩌면 그게 내 본 모습일 지도 몰라
damn huh 현실의 괴리감
이상과의 갈등 아프네 머리가
대인기피증이 생겨 버린 게 18살쯤
그래 그때쯤 내 정신은 점점 오염 돼
가끔씩 나도 내가 무서워 자기 혐오와
다시 놀러 와 버린 우울증 덕분에
이미 민윤기는 죽었어 (내가 죽였어)
죽은 열정과 남과 비교하는 게 나의 일상이 되 버린 지 오래
정신과를 처음 간 날 부모님이 올라와
같이 상담을 받았지 부모님 왈 날 잘 몰라
나 자신도 날 잘 몰라 그렇다면 누가 알까
친구? 아님 너? 그 누구도 날 잘 몰라
의사 선생님이 내게 물었어
주저 없이 나는 말했어 그런 적 있다고
버릇처럼 하는 말 uh i don’t give a shit i don’t give a fuck
그딴 말들 전부다 uh 나약한 날 숨기려 하는 말
지우고픈 그때 그래 기억 조차 나지 않는 어느 공연하는 날
사람들이 무서워 화장실에 숨어 버린 나를 마주 하던 나
그때 난 그때 난
성공이 다 보상할 줄 알았지
근데 말야 근데 말야
시간이 지날 수록 괴물이 되는 기분야
청춘과 맞바꾼 나의 성공이란 괴물은 더욱 큰 부를 원해
무기였던 욕심이 되려 날 집어 삼키고 망치며 때론 목줄을 거네
어떤 이들은 내 입을 틀어 막으며 선악과를 삼키라 해
i don’t want it 그들은 내가 이 동산에서 나가길 원하네
shit shit 알겠으니까 제발 그만해
이 모든 일들의 근원은 나니까 나 스스로 그만둘게
내 불행이 니들의 행복이라면 기꺼이 불행 해줄게
증오의 대상이 나라면 기요틴에 올라서 줄게
상상만 하던 것이 현실이 돼 어릴 적 꿈이 내 눈앞에
두 명 앞에 공연하던 밥 이젠 도쿄돔이 내 코앞에
한번 사는 인생 누구보다 화끈하게 대충 사는 건 아무나 해
my fan my hommie my fam 걱정 말길 나 이젠 정말 괜찮아 damn
내 본질을 부정했던 게 수 차례
내 주소는 아이돌 부정은 안 해
수 차례 정신을 파고들던 고뇌
방황의 끝 정답은 없었네
팔아먹었다고 생각 했던 자존심이 이젠 나의 자긍심 돼
내 fan들아 떳떳이 고개들길 누가 나만큼 해 uh
세이코에서 롤렉스 악스에서 체조
내 손짓 한번에 끄덕거리는 수 만 명들의 고개
show me the money 못 한게 아니라 안 한 거라고 shit
우릴 팔아먹던 너넨 안 한 게 아니라 못 한 거라고 shit
내 창작의 뿌리는 한 세상 단맛 쓴맛 똥맛까지 다 봤지
화장실 바닥에 잠을 청하던 그땐 이젠 내게 추억이네 uh 추억이 돼
배달 알바 중 났던 사고 덕분에 박살이 났던 어깨
부여잡고 했던 데뷔 너네가 누구 앞에서 고생한 척들을 해
세이코에서 롤렉스 악스에서 체조
내 손짓 한번에 끄덕거리는 수 만 명들의 고개
한이 낳은 나 uh 똑똑히 나를 봐 uh
우릴 팔아먹던 너넨 안 한 게 아니라 못 한 거라고 shit
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