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used thoughts

second thoughts

compact thoughts

no longer the one you were

become and play your role

who goes for the throne must go for the king

this matter is not overdue

still no change to see in your self-absorption

and the animal runs amuck

getting stronger

I start taking pleasure in these thoughts

but is it real or just a lie

a need

demanding discipline

love of order accused

in an inner-war

the dependence and the selfishness strengthened

but unacceptable

my unsecureness makes it feel safe

any thought is a declaration of love

any anticipated joy

on the outbreak

the crushing firmness hardens

a bit of pain

a bit overloaded

and I live again

self-confidence of the undestroyable

the power of the inferior winner is

the might of the motor inside

the secret in my head

if it is too fast it does not matter

because the hole becomes bigger

any lie takes its revenge

any illusion is going to devour me

one step too far

or maybe two steps behind

is it more than you have ever had

ever been

ever known

a sense I do not know

and I will never know

relax and drift above

I am sure you will love the joke

please trust a man who would never lie

the one you have passed by with your innocence

your eyes you have open wide

you will need to cry

smiles sounding between my words

a child that dies to live like a gentleman

a prison-guard

a prisoner

a sense I will never know

and never give to you

finally you start drinking

as you swallow you grow up

filling yourself with yours

it is good to become yourself

push and restart

clear up your picture

what hurts can be killed

the meal gets your own taste

you are prospering

enjoying every single step

every new refreshing breath

milking your life

you feel the changes begin

is the secret the remorse afterwards

I pay your price

anyway but I have to give more than my megalomania

I am going to fail

that is a part of the role

or is there less

than I can see

no answers

will this eternal wandering end

will I live

or is this life

no answers

through confrontation I will find a way

and I will do so

the animal inside

the beast

the maniac

that is what it is for

my victory is his death

his existence to give me sense

and to die on my birth

so I will kill him ! 

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