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Jersey Shore, last May

Checking out the hotties, drinking Stellas all day

We were tipsy, well, we were drunk

So when that kid shot that beach ball and nailed you in your junk

You got pissed, you crossed the line

Took one more swig and muttered vengeance is mine

Looked at the boy and said “Here’s the deal,

You’re a little fucker, and Santa isn’t real!”


Later on we bought twenty packs of fun dip and fed them to some birds

Then we waited two more hours till they pooped out rainbow coloured turds

Which looked awesome by the way

That was a pretty sweet day

A pretty sweet day

A pretty sweet day


My sister’s wedding, drunk again

Rating all my cousins on a scale from one to ten

I mean, you guys were rating, I was not

Even though my second cousin Becky’s kind of hot

Anyway, that’s not the point

Remember how we found the fattest chick in the joint?

We double-dared you to touch her tit

But then you took her home

Buddy, way to commit


Later on you sobered up and asked if you’ve been super shady

We forgave your lack of taste

I mean, how often do you sleep with the Snapple lady?

Dude, I knew you weren’t gay

That was a pretty sweet day

A pretty sweet day

A pretty sweet day


What happened to that guy?

We haven’t seen him since like ninety nine (Did you?)

It’s like he disappeared

Dude, what happened to you?

Your girlfriend sucks (Your girlfriend sucks)

Your girlfriend sucks (She really sucks)

The day that you met Rachel was the beginning of the end

It’s so not cool (It’s so not cool)

You’re such a tool (Don’t be a tool)

Don’t you miss being our friend?


Hung out with Rachel, it was fine

We ordered shots, you ordered wine

Talked about movies starring Meryl Streep

And kicked each other under the table so we wouldn’t fall asleep

You two were talking, so unaware

That we were silent, that we were there

And you looked happy, you kissed her hand

OK, you love her, we understand


But just in case you find some time

We’re goin’ back to the Jersey Shore

And maybe for one afternoon

It’ll be us three like it was before

Just consider it, OK?

That would be a pretty sweet day

A pretty sweet day

A pretty sweet day

A pretty sweet day

A pretty sweet day! 

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