Bob Rivers piosenki

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me Is finding a Christmas tree The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Angry husband: Rigging up the lights And finding a Christmas tree The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain...

Goodbye to all my friends I've known And the travel agent I trusted. I'm riding along on this beat-up old plane; Look out the window. All the rivets are rusted. As that ground crew pushes us backwards On that rickety L-1011, I'm feeling around for that...

I was a little too stuffed, had to lose a few pounds, Pants too tight, seams bustin' out. Just had a big burrito with beans and rice, Salsa on top, with some extra spice, Lots of extra spice. Out there in the bathroom where the air gets heavy, Sat on th...

All the land's been bought By some folks from LA Condos going on Each and every day I wish they'd all go home Go back from where they came Californians leavin' would really make my day They don't know how to drive Especially in the rain Well I flipp...

Did you ever think when you eat Chinese, It ain't pork or chicken, but a fat siamese, Yet the food tastes great, so ya don't complain, but that's not chicken in your chicken chow mein. Seems to me I ordered sweet and sour pork, But Garfield's on my fork,...

Stop! Don't shoot; wait a minute Mr. Postman. Please put down that weapon Mr. Postman. Mr. Postman can this be? Oh no. Is that an Uzi in your bag I see? Please, please. You've been so quiet for such a long time. Oh no. Has lickin' stamps made you lose your m...

Don't want to sound too crass And please don't think I've got no class Just showing my testosterone Nothin's more fun than feelin' boobies Feelin' boobies Hello headlights how's it goin' You really got my juices flowin' Ain't no signs of gravity Nothi...

Frosty the pervert in a trench coat he did go to a the school yard to expose his dick and balls made of snow frosty the pervert all the kids he liked to watch his dick did grow when he packed snow on his cold and icy crotch there must have must have...

I'm getting fatter all the time. I used to be size 32 and I never gave. My jeans used to fit, I looked cool. Now I'm not the same. Put on a few pounds, my shape's getting round. And lately I can't see my shoes. I hate to admit, but I'm getting fatter, f...

Lately all the songs I write Are slow and on the mellow side. I used to stand on MTV, But now they bring a chair for me. Let me get a tube of ointment Let's rub my achy joints, And turn my hearing aid loud, And throw Depends into the crowd. This mus...

I am Santa Claus Ho ho ho ho ho Flying Through the snow Can you hear him ho ho ho He's so full of cheer only has to work one day a year Children in their beds Visions of sugar plums fill their heads So many kids out there Santa must be a billio...

You loved us when the band was hot. And now we're gonna give it one more shot. We're gettin' old, We must be crazy. We're puttin' on the makeup again. It covers up a buncha wrinkled skin. You bring the bread, We'll make the gravy. You keep on standin', We'll...

I'm a Weight Watcher, I'm a Weight Watcher, Watchin' food go by. My, my, my. I'm a Weight Watcher, I'm a plate watcher. Here comes a cream pie Mmmm, mmm, mmm. I was just a boy When I tried to eat my toy. Couldn't reacy my toes To put my shoes on....

It's the most fattening time of the year With that pumpkin pie filling and everyone swilling down eggnog and beer It's the most fattening time of the year It's the lip smackingest season of all while your shopping you're cheating impulsively eating that junk...

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Like Guns N Roses with Axel Rose spittin' Ozzie's black eyes and the bats that he's bitten Big Marshall stacks and a broken E-string These are a few of my favorite things Ho Ho Ho Penthouse apartments and twelve in a hot tub Drinki...

Got a flat in Timbuktu Waiting for AAA And I saw that single headlight through the rain Flagged the geezer in the car down, He was going the wrong way We sped away and left rubber on all four lanes He pulled a quick u-turn, And hit a pickup from Montana...

O.J., O.J. O.J., I think you did it. But I wanna know for sure. You expect people to believe that there are people actually playing golf at ten o' clock at night? Ya wanna know what I think? I think you're gonna get passed around like Madonna in an NBA lo...

He likes to set up colored people. He likes to frame the colored people. Officer Fuhrman driving through Brentwood At night with a glove in his bag, his evidence bag. Waits at the Bronco; opens the window To leave a few drops on the floor, a smudge on the doo...

Pokemon mon mon mon Lots of money mon mon mon Pokemon mon mon mon Lots of Money mon mon mon mon We got to find a pokemon Before it's Christmas Eve The kids must have a Pikachu It's called I do believe They think that you can magically pull one out of y...

I bet you're wondering how I knew That Prince Charles and Lady Di were through. Was waiting in line at the grocery store. Took a peek at the dirt about Demi Moore. And it took me by surprise I must say When I found out the Pope was gay. I read it in the tablo...