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Tekst piosenki

Sitting around wasting away in a tiny room

Cut off from the world that I once knew

My faith is shaken from the terrifying discovery

That the gods we loved have abandoned us for cookies

What the fuck?! X8

Why have our gods become so gluttonous?

Their sweet confection fucked us over

In all our years upon this earth

Are cookies really all we’re worth?

A crunchy wafer will eliminate the population

Because the gods are fucking weird

Apocalyptic visions are haunting me

I see a meteor shower of cookies

Children screaming for mother as they’re squelched underneath

The biggest freaking crumbs you’ve ever seen

All the destruction, all the pain

I’m never eating a cookie again

I swear to you the next time I meet a baker

I’ll give him such a good talking to

He’ll feel so bad for himself

I might even write a letter of complaint

That this song wasn’t as gruesome as the other ones

Well now it’s time to reveal the twist behind this story

The whole reason the gods abandoned us for sugary consumption in the first place

This twist is gonna blow every part of your fucking mind because you literally will not expect it at all

It will shock the core of your brain like an angry, partially aroused yet bizarrely attractive transvestite spider monkey

I think you’re ready now, for me to tell you the greatest twist in any story ever told

Here it comes… 

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