A Life Once Lost

with a simple blink of an eye the trupeter stops he has run out of breath he dtops to his knees to regain his breath panting and gasping for as much air as he can fit into his tired lungs he risses to his feet with tears in his eyes he has failed 

a falls river farewell sometimes I sing by myself alone, away from the angels that hold my hand as I walked way scared from the memories that I choked on memories of you wiping them away with glass angels sing songs about you they bleed in my dreams bringing...

I can't understand what I do wrong half the time. My judgement is blurred half the time. I never once acted like this before I met you. Now I'm a simplicated sensation. I'm nothing; A laughing stock to some. I'm sorry for my vicious decline into this bedlam yo...

I think it would be amusing to sit here and write up a list Just a list that describes the way I want to destroy myself Not a simple suicide but a drawn out process of pain This was all created in my head and can't I stop thinking it I am taunted by the ignora...

What else do I need to do? What else can I say? Sorry? I have trained myself to love you. But you no longer look at me. Why? What have I done to you? I tried so hard to be perfect. But you still throw me aside. I wish I was the symbol of passion. The pass...

I tested your patience without you even knowiing so I continued to throw words around carelessly I knew how to get you off certain words evoked this beast from you it was your carless eyes that strayed away which brought forth your true feelings now tell me of...

Tell me what you wish to do? You know that your wish most likely will not come true Not to worry because your life has been one big disappointment anyway Thinking that if I fall asleep to her breathing It is not despair, it is certainly that I have suffered en...

I have to choose what I detest Either dreaming, which my mind hates Or action, which my awareness loathes I am confused I sit alone in silence To focus more on the way that I am living I am losing you And this place isn't comfortable I retaliate by not speakin...

I am repulsed by the lack of dedication That you insert into this relationship Could it be that your head is elsewhere Could it be that you don't care All I know is that I am repulsed by the effortless Teeth missing But death seems so attractive this time arou...

I always pictured you with flowers in your hair. Dancing in the dry rain. You held color beyond love. Yet the sensation to no longer walk in is alive. In my eyes and heart. And all I could ask was for you to love but I am guessing that was even to hard....

I am impatient and hard to please. No sense of serenity Habitual neurosis transcends into thoughts of suicide. And when this body lay lifeless, don't patronize me by insisting this was all done because of you. I am beyond redemption. Even in death I will not s...

These words collapse your confidence. Your destructive existance is nauseating. Fake, with no self esteem; you're nothing. You change with manic uncertainty. Now I will be the master. Now I will choose my boatswain. I push myself in and out of relationships. B...

This is when panic and shock are given out in doses. There is nothing to admire. Absent from this present anxiety is liberation. Malice now exists inside my head. Crush and rebuild. Destroy and organize. I stand above, looking down on this devastation. Words f...

I continue to succumb to mundane hospitality. Fabricating pertinent dinner conversation. Fascinating breath pressing drawls. Asking myself why. Unbeleievable isn't it; the way we twist words around just to get that quick fix. I swore someday I'd save myself fr...

You are worthless and especially ignorant to human life Words - gestures Everything I feel towards your existence Coexists with the hatred I have for mankind Common consideration cannot coincide with you and me You talk to offend And you laugh to belittle It s...

It could have been easier then this. It could have been so much more enjoyable, for the both of us. But it wasn't right. for me to waste time with you. Thinking I even had a chance to make a difference in your life. Just forget about it. Forget about me....

Screaming out loud. I loved everyone. I never meant to hurt anyone. Just as the nails of so many man before Me, drove through My skin. It seemed to silence His lips. For no one really cared. He then let out a cry that was heard for miles and miles. Hi...

You know Suicide and life Are peachy conversations Based around This fantasy that will never evolve Can't say I welcome it In to my life Those tasteless kisses You pushed upon my cheek Me ruining All hope of that new crush Now is exposed It makes the children...

her cloths were soaked with mildew ropes burned their way through her fragile thin wrists I stood over her watching to see if she was going to live or die I remember her screaming and scratching to my arms while I was tying her wrists behind her back she was k...

These problems exist inside my mind like a heavy New Orleans fog My thinking has slowed itself down to a crawl unwillingly Compassion fueled By depression My savior is death Does this make sense My love is silenced By ignorance My answer is death Does this mak...

What happens stays here, right? This is nothing but a miserable lesson learned. What we share together will not end up falling out of someone else's lips. I must, fight with shadows in my own defense and worst of all, their names I do not know. Tell me do I di...

do you know the glorious? do you know they breathe and live? the strict attention that they give toward their competition is comparable to any domiant country that exists today not allowing their alertness to be distracted while they take what they want your a...

We are dead The dead are born They don't die The worlds are switched around in our eyes We are dead When we think that we are living How about we show them the real The fucked up ideals neglected through time I do not live to learn anymore I make mistakes to c...

He knew that she would leave the light on for him Suppose that it was possible that she forgot this night Only the crescent moon dragged its way across the dirt path he walked on And as he closed his eyes, his mind began to drift away This time was the only ti...

now we are here we are closer to absolute control more than ever before my growing desire to conquer the world increases over night this surge of poetic tyranny gushes through my body conduits feelings meet me face to face I stand up taller than you and watch...

Tonight you are going to suffer and I will be the last glimpse of anything you see. Is pain real? Do you believe in pain? I want to walk away but I sit and watch you slowly fall in and out of consciousness. The pain. The panic. Grab your chest, feel your heart...

My lips rest against your forehead Your eyes close - My eyes close Our breathing falls into a rhythm Our hands embrace each other While my arms pull us in tighter Your arms are pushing me away I am fucked I have nothing because of you I've given it all to you...

a clustered mind is not a benefical one I am being chocked mentally thought flow through my head like a verbose raging river tambling four word phrases jumping from noun to noun I yearn to live for a a person that can make me feel like pious but instead I am s...

Let me rip the throat of your still warm body Cover my eyes with the blood of lying fool A person you sought after innocence in my arms A person you took advantage of For I am the fool I am the fool you walked past threw these lies I am the man that shall be p...

My head never rests on my shoulders facing the sun. I struggle to walk. The burden of this guilt I hide from you is growing, You'll never know what it is. This is the kind of person I am, This is the kind of person I've turned into. I time of song, I am the ka...

Only when I speak to myself Is when the real Substantial conversations Flow together Words travel gently off my tongue I leave myself speechless Thoughts die horribly in my mind I retreat to nowhere To understand, I destroy myself These scars are here to stay...

Tell me what you wish to do? You know that your wish most likely will not come true Not to worry because your life has been one big disappointment anyway Thinking that if I fall asleep to her breathing It is not despair, it is certainly that I have suffered en...

can I spread frustration without speaking? without parting my lips except to breath? I let my actions speak for me because my words collided with yours it created tension and frustration so I left I didnt turn around to see how troubled you were that night I p...

And the olive trees, for the locust devoured them as well You will not let me die Why not The trees and fields have been picked dry yet you keep me here for what To sit at your side. Let me die young and empty of days Bury my bones under the bare olive tree Le...

As the sun died in the background of the autumn trees, the cries ceased The wind blew across the cold and blistered ground Her vivid leaves danced in the air only inches above the ground they slept upon The wind began to grow robbing the branches of the willow...

First in line to cash in on what I created Last in line to beat the dead horse I try and try but who cares at the end of the day I figure that you only wanted to make me feel this way So that you can feel better about yourself I will dance across the floor I'm...

when did this all start anyway? we have all the time in the world to kill so lets converse over my imperfections you did it all the time even when I was standing next to you whey should now be any different? you already shattered my self image with your self r...

I am such a beautiful bastard. the wind graced across her ear. It made her stop and cry. Throwing herself in the air. Screaming aloud, take me away. From all of this pain you made me feel. Yet, millions of lips have called this child blessed. She held her...

I need a mircale to conquer this endeavor. The imagery of song to portray the routine of life. Maybe I'm neurotic or just wrong in general. Maybe I should concede and put out the fire. Can you feel this uproar? Festering desire in my thoughts. I can promise yo...

I try and catch myself from crying but the tears are dead. I can cry on your command. I can scream making my lungs bleed. I can stare at a broken reflection seeing you laughing at me. I pretend so that I can kill you. Pieces of my heart cut me like suic...

We collapse, hands interlude. Cheek against cheek. A pulse duet hums through our veins. And I'm not sure why I continue. When we start to embaress each other. As our lies attain bi-partail virtue. And all I want is to die. I gain and lose control, like some fu...

I am not the same anymore A sadness reveals a mind shaken The pieces of a core that's broken By an intense Inner suffering And I want nothing How clear must I be What you have What you are I want nothing from you I will use my throat to insult you I will use m...