Weird Al Yankovic

Uh huh ... extra cheese Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me Pizza, party at your house I went, just to check it out Nineteen extra larges What a shame No one came Just us eatin' all alone You said, "Take the pizza home" "No sense lettin' all this...

You can torture me With Donnie & Marie You can play some Barry Manilow Or you can play some schlock Like New Kids On The Block Or any Village People song you know Or play Vanilla Ice Hey, you can play him twice And you can play the Bee Gees any day...

Potato skins, potato cakes Hash browns and instant flakes Baked or boiled or french fried There's no kind you haven't tried You planned a trip to Idaho Just to watch potatoes grow I understand how you must feel I can't deny they've got a peel Wo, you like 'em...

Met this pretty young stewardess on a non-stop flight. She showed me to my seat and it was love at first sight. Now lately I've been flying to all kinds of places That I never really wanted to go. 'Cause I'll do anything just to spend a little time With t...

Here she comes now, wants her alimony Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now Well, first she took my nest egg Then she took the nest I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), Yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah) Yeah 'Cause she t...

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain But that's just perfect for an Amish like me You know, I shun fancy things like electricity At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows Jebediah feeds...

Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard, And the place was pretty packed. Couldn't find a seat, so I had to stand, With the perverts in the back. It was smellin' like a locker room. There was junk all over the floor. We're already packed in like sardines, But we're...

[*inhale*] Beautiful tats All over my back Makes me so proud I'm gonna shout it out loud I got another tattoo baby Yeah another tattoo baby (a-noth-noth-nother tattoo) (noth noth nother tattoo) No part of me is blank I'm really ink obsessed Its like...

They showed up on my doorstep just a couple weeks ago They looked so sweet and harmless Tell me, how was I to know They got a little too close to the microwave and then much to my surprise They grew to forty thousand times their original size They started muta...

Sometimes I feel, like I need a vacation Sometimes I feel, like I wanna go To the city of cavemen, the city of Bedrock I'd be a Flintstone, now I'll tell you why Well, I've got, I've got a woman named Wilma Well, I've got, I've got a baby named Pebbles...

Hit my snooze alarm for the 27th time Just don't feel like goin' to work - I think I'll call my boss, then I'm Gonna hack and cough and wheeze Swear I got some strange disease What's that little twerp gonna say? Hey I'm callin' in sick today Callin' in...

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head? I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed They all live on donuts and moose meat And they leave the house without packin' heat Never ev...

Tra la la! Are you worried about impending doom? Those evil villains got ya filled with gloom? Don't ya fear, there's a hero in the sky, the sky, the sky It's not a bird and it's not a plane And it's not an egg salad sandwich It's the waistband warrior...

It's Christmas at Ground Zero There's music in the air The sleigh bells are ringing And the carolers are singing While the air raid sirens blare It's Christmas at Ground Zero The button has been pressed The radio just let us know That this is not a te...

Jillian was her name She was sweeter than aspartame Her kisses reconfigured my DNA And after that I never was the same And I loved her even more Than Marlon Brando loved souffle She was gorgeous, she was charming Yeah, she was perfect in every w...

Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty man The kind of man you'd never disrespect He stood eight feet tall, wore glasses And had a third nipple on the back of his neck He ate his own weight in coal Excreted diamonds everyday He could throw you down a flight...

Watch this These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slip my mind the last two times, silly me So now I gotta give you part three of my confessions Fir...

Uh huh, extra cheese. Uh huh, uh huh, save a piece for me. Pizza party at your fuckin' house, I went just to check it out. 19 extra larges, What a shame, no one came. Just us, eatin' all alone, You said take the pizza home. No sense lettin' all this go to was...

[Intro] Look, if you had, one shot To sit on your lazy butt, and watch all the TV you ever wanted Until your brain turned to mush, would you go for it Or just let it slip Yo [Verse 1] Remote is ready, eyes wide, palms are sweaty There's Flintstones on the TV...

Whoa, yeah! You've got a 65 Chevy Malibu With automatic drive, a custom paint job too I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly-used sombrero And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist Craigslist I'm on Craigslist, baby, come on Yeah...

Put down your chainsaw and listen to me It's time for us to join in the fight It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys It's time to let the bedbugs bite You better put all your eggs in one basket You better count your chickens before they...

I know that you Don't know me very well We've barely met But I can surely tell No one will ever Love you like I do I like to feel The warm spot on your chair Sometimes I drool And usually I stare My precious one I saved that gum That you threw in...

Found a job in a great big office And I really love this place I got my very own Scotch tape dispenser And I got a private parking space...ha! And I got a coffee mug with my name right on it In big bold letters so everyone knows it's mine Don't even touch it,...

Once in a while Maybe you will feel the urge. To break international copyright law By downloading mp3s From file sharing sites Like Morpheus, or Grokster, or LimeWire, or Kazaa. But deep in your Heart. You know the guilt would drive you mad And the sha...

How come you're always such a fussy young man Don't want no Cap'n Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran Well don't you know that other kids are starvin' in Japan So eat it, just eat it Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate Don't want to hear about what kind...

A used pink bathrobe A rare mint snowglobe A Smurf TV tray I bought on eBay My house is filled with this crap Shows up in bubble wrap Most every day What I bought on eBay Tell me why I need another pet rock Tell me why I got that Alf alarm clock Te...

Make A List, Little Lars Never Seen A Star, Put His Fans Behind Bars Can't You See, Mp3 means your stealing from me Should've bought a cd I keep my T1 open, I'm stealing your songs right now... We're in debt, from the internet Sue our fans, off to Naps...

I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane With a rabid wolverine in my underwear When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?" "Is it Bob or Joe or W...

Your butt is wide, well mine is too. Just watch your mouth, or I'll sit on you. The word is out, better treat me right, Cause I'm the king of cellulite. Ham on ham on ham on whole wheat, all right. My zippers bust, my buckles break. I'm too much man for you t...

My maid is cleaning my bathroom, so I can't take a shower When I do, the water starts getting cold after an hour I couldn't order off the breakfast menu, cause I slept in till two Then I filled up on bread, didn't leave any room for tiramisu Oh no, there's a p...

I never seem to finish all my food I always get a doggie bag from the waiter So I just keep what's still unchewed And I take it home, save it for later But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation Microbes, enzymes, mould and oxidation I don't care, I...

(Well,) I'm not the brightest crayon in the box Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks I barely even know... how to put on my own pants! But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France! Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka laka Hoom chaka I...

Sometimes I really want to be alone But that's one state I'm never in Because I know that I've got millions upon millions Of tiny, one-celled organisms living on my skin (Germs) I rub and scrub until my flesh is raw and bleeding (Germs) But they jus...

Some girls like to buy new shoes And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos There's only one thing that they all like a bunch Oh, girls, they want to have lunch Oh, girls just want to have lunch I know how to keep a woman satisfied When I whip o...

Gump sat alone on a bench in the park "My name is Forrest," he'd casually remark Waitin' for the bus with his hands in his pockets He just kept sayin' life is like a box of chocolates He's Gump, He's Gump What's in his head? He's Gump, He's Gump, He's Gump Is...

First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman) Remodelling is my only passion (it's my passion) And I'm the greatest in the business Want referrals, yo My clientele will bear you witness (right, right) I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?) There...

Nothing ever (ever) happens in this town Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here I thought that I would go right outta my mind Until a friend told me the news He said, "(Hey), you know that vacant lot Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody...

Once, there was this kid who Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint And when he finally came back He had cane marks all over his bottom He said that it was from When the warden whacked it so hard Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm O...

I can't watch this. (x4) My my my my TV makes me so bored Makes me say, oh my lord What is this garbage here? Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears It sucks, and that's no lie It's about as much fun as watching paint dry Lowers my IQ one notch And that...

Oh-oh-oh-oh I was there to match my intellect on national TV Against a plumber, oh, and an architect, both with a PhD I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just wasn't my night Art Fleming gave the answers Oh, but I couldn't get the questions right, -ight, -...

I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school Yah, but chocolate's gettin' old Vanilla just leaves me cold There's just one flavor good enough for me, yah me Don't gimme no crummy taste spoon I know what I need...

Isn't it strange? Feels like I'm lookin' in the mirror What would people say if only they knew that I was Part of some geneticist's plan Born to be a carbon copy man There in a petri dish late one night They took a donor's body cell and fertilized a human...

When I said that I'd be faithful, When I promised I'd be true. When I swore that I could never Be with anyone but you. When I told you that I loved you With those tender words I spoke. I was only kidding. Now, can't you take a joke? When I said that I...

I sued Taco Bell 'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas And I got fat! I sued Panasonic They never said I shouldn't use their microwave To dry off my cat Huh, I sued Earthlink 'Cause I called them up N' they had the nerve to put me on hold I sued Starbucks 'C...

Ooh yeah Oh I'm your shelter from the storm You'll know I'll always have your back I'll even let you warm Your freezing hands inside my butt crack I never get out my leaf blower when Oprah is on And when you're telling me about your feelings I try not...

I'm waking up in Cheeto dust My belly's covered with pizza crust I'm using my inhaler now [wheezes] I'm out of shape, fattening up I'm sipping Coke from a solo cup Donut crumbs are upon my lips, whoa The TV's on, I really hate this show I can't reach m...

It's all about the Pentiums, baby Uhh, uh-huh, yeah Uhh, uh-huh, yeah It's all about the Pentiums, baby It's all about the Pentiums, baby It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby) It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums...

Tuesday morning, 8: 15 I was riding to work on the Jackson Park Express Seemed like any other day Then my whole world changed In a way I never could have guessed 'Cause she walked in Took the seat right across the aisle I knew we had a special connecti...

It's been one week since we got to see Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry Five days since they had the show With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho Three days since we heard the tale About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male Yesterday i...

I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitos And before long they were cloning DNA Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors Well believe me...this has been one lousy day Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark All the dinosaurs are running...

[Verse 1:] One time I was in the checkout line Behind Steven Seagal Once I'm pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill Was in the very next bathroom stall My best friend's brother Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2 My neighbour's baby sitter Dated three of the...

I finally made it through med school Somehow I made it through I'm just an intern I still make A mistake or two I was last in my class Barely passsed at the institute Now I'm trying to avoid, yah I'm trying to avoid A malpractise sue Hey, like a surgeon Cutt...

There's something weird in the fridge today I don't know what it is Food I can't recognize My roommate won't throw a thing away I guess it's probably his It looks like it's alive... And livin' in the fridge... livin' in the fridge Livin' in the fridge... livi...

All I do is Grunt and Groan Hurts me to walk anywhere Went to see my physician Dr. Jones He took my trousers off Told me to cough The doctor said there ain't nothing To discuss He said anyday now I might have to wear a truss Living with a hernia All the tim...

We must all efficiently Operationalize our strategies Invest in world-class technology And leverage our core competencies In order to holistically administrate Exceptional synergy We'll set a brand trajectory Using management's philosophy Advance our m...

Beverly hillbillies Huh, now lookie here people Listen to my story A little story 'bout a man named Jed You know something? That poor mountaineer They say he barely kept his family fed Now, let me tell you One day he was shootin' Old Jed was shootin...

Oh, my baby, my baby she don't want me no more Ever since she saw his poster in that record store She says the way he grinds his molars is really sexy She thinks he's so darn dysfunctional and Generation X-y She likes his brooding angst and his wild-eyed stare...

Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one Open up a package of my bologna Ooh, I think the toast is done, the toast is done Top it with a little of my bologna Never gonna stop, eat it up Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up But I'll soon...

I saw a baby drive a truck I saw a junkie eat a tuba I saw a stripper kiss a duck Behind a dumpster in Aruba I saw this fat, psychotic guy His underwear was made of crickets He pawned a skeleton to buy Some old expired lotto tickets I saw a naked vag...

[Wrecking Ball:] We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain We jumped never asking why We kissed, I fell under your spell A love no one could deny Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you I can't live a lie, running for my life I will always...

Poor Peter Parker was pitiful Couldn't have been any shyer Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him Even if his hair was on fire But then one day he went to that science lab That mutated spider came down Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls And he...

Well I heard that you're leaving Gonna leave far behind 'Cause you found a brand new lover You decided that I'm not your type So I pulled Your name out of my Rolladex And I tore all your pictures in two And I burned down the malt shop Where we used to go Just...

Oooh oooh oooh ee-oooh oooh oooh Ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh-oooh oooh Oooooh I'm always thinkin' 'bout it I don't know what I'd do without it I love, I really love My pancreas My spleen just doesn't matter Don't really care about my bladder But I don't...

i moved out to langely recently with a plain and simple dream; wanna infiltrate some third-world place and topple their regime. those men in black with their matching suitcases; where everything's on a need-to-know basis; agents got that swagger; every...

My mama told me when I was hatched Act like a superstar Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress And someday you will go far Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss The press follows everywhere I go I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this Back off and...

[Liechtensteiner Polka] [Lady Gaga - Poker Face:] Mum mum mum mah Mum mum mum muh Oh whoa oh oh oh Can't read my, can't read my No, he can't read-a my polka face (She's got to love no body) Can't read my, can't read my No he can't read-a my polka face (She's...

[Billy Idol - Cradle Of Love:] Hey! Rock the cradle of love. Rock the cradle of love. Yes, the cradle of love don't rock easy, it's true. Rock the cradle of love. I rocked the cradle of love. Yes, the cradle of love don't rock easy, it's true. [Suzanne...

Krabby, Snubbull, Venonat Mankey, Chansey and Zubat Slowking, Ditto, Butterfree Lugia and Caterpie Oddish, Poliwag, Goldeen Elekid and Nidoqueen Victreebel and Magneton - Everybody Polkamon! Aerodactyl, Seel, Machoke Marill, Moltres, then Slowpoke Ar...

[Werner Thomas - Chicken Dance] [The Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started:] Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here Let's get it started (ha) Let's get it started in here And the...

Veren zol fun dir a blintsa (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! (How ya doin', Bernie?) Oy vey, oy vey! And all the goyim say I'm pretty fly for a rabbi Meccha leccha hi, meccha hiney hiney ho Our temple's h...

Once, not very long ago, I was respected I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the same Ringtone Why did I buy this stupid ringtone?...

Fat and weak, what a disgrace. Guess the champ got too lazy. Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space. Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain. But he's no bum, he works down the street. He bought the neighborhood deli. Back on his feet, now...

I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at Juilliard Took every acting workshop I could And I dreamed of Hollywood While I read my Uta Hagen and studied the Bard Hit the boards and paid my dues An...

Things just haven't been the same Since the flying saucer came Now the aliens are on the loose Well, we tried to hold 'em back Tried to ward off their attack But our atom bombs were just no use They were ugly, they were mean Biggest heads I ever seen They ma...

What is this song all about? Can't figure any lyrics out How do the words to it go? I wish you'd tell me, I don't know Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no Don't know, don't know, don't know... Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin' And I don't know w...

Spam in the place where I live (Ham and Pork) Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it Spam in my lunchbox at work (it's the best) Really makes a darned good sandwich anyway you slice it at all If you're running low, go to the store. Carry some money t...

Your sports team is vastly inferior That simple fact is plainly obvious to see We're gonna kick your collective posterior Of course you realize we're speaking figuratively Our stats are thoroughly impressive Our coach really has the Midas touch Our playe...

A man of intrigue He lives for the thrill Always has places to go And people to kill Danger is the game he plays And he holds every card 'Cause if you wanna win You gotta spy hard A man of the world So suave and discreet He trips over the women Piled up at h...

Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass And there’s no way you’re gonna slow it down. You say, “We’ve gotta treasure each moment.” Who knows how long we’re gonna be around? Yeah, you keep on tellin’ me life is short, And it’s hard to disagree with wha...

[Verse 1:] It might seem crazy, wearing stripes and plaid I instagram every meal I've had All my used liquor bottles are on display We can go to see a show but I'll make you pay [Chorus:] (because I'm tacky) Wear my belt with suspenders and sandals with my so...

Taco ... Grande ... Taco ... Grande ... Yo quiero chimichungas y chile colorado. Yo tengo el dinero para un steak picado. Las flautas y tamales siempre muy bueno. Y el chile relleno. You see, I just gotta have a tostada, carne asada. That's right, I want the...

I'd like to do some more songs about buildings and food This is a song about liver, very high in protein, very good for ya Hope you like it I don't know why You feed me so bad Think of all the health food I could've had You took-a my yogurt And my whole whea...

Aquarius There's travel in your future When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus Fill that void in your pathetic life By Playing Wack-a-mole 17 hours a day Pisces Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos With the Ebola Virus You are the true lord...

Oh... what is the malted liquor? What gets you drunken quicker? What comes in bottles or in cans? (Beer) Can't get enough of it (Beer) How we really love it (Beer) Makes me think I'm a man (Beer) I could kiss and hug it (Beer) But I'd rather chug it (Be...

You can watch Mr. Rogers You can watch Three's Company And you can turn on Fame or The Newlywed Game Or The Addams Family I say, you can watch Barney Miller And you can watch your MTV And you can watch till your eyes fall out of your head That'll be ok...

Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys For the good gentile girls and the good gentile boys When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath From his beard to his boots he was covere...

{Who fixes plumbing problems in a flash? 24 hours a day? 7 days a week?} Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand, But plumbing's one thing I don't understand. It's true. (Haven't got a clue) B-b-b-baby, I can tell you've got a big problem. When I flu...

A long, long time ago In a galaxy far away Naboo was under an attack And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn Could talk the federation into Maybe cutting them a little slack But their response, it didn't thrill us They locked the doors and tried to kill us We escape...

(The white stuff. The white stuff) The first one was a sweet one, the second one was a blast. Soon I finished off the bag, ate 'em up real fast. You can see 'em in my teeth, tell it when I talk. Had so many my pancreas just went into shock. I love the w...

I eat filet mignon seven times a day My bathtub's filled with Perrier What can I say This is the life I buy a dozen cars when I'm in the mood I hire somebody to chew my food I'm an upwardly mobile dude This is the life They say that money corrupts you But I...

you're sort of famous a minor celebrity and so it only makes sense the world would be obsessed with every single thing you do they're running 'round with their camcorders in the night they lurk impatienly in hope that they just might see something really emba...

Seven o'clock in the evening Watchin somethin' stupid on TV I'm zoned out on the sofa When my wife comes in the room and sees me She says "Is this 'Behind the Music' With Lynard Skynard?" And I say "I don't know. Say, it's gettin' late... what you wann...

(Trigger happy, trigger happy) Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel alright Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night There's no feeling any greater Than to shoot first and ask questions later Now I'm trigger happy, trigger...

[Ken] Wanna go for a ride? [Barbie] Sure Ken! [Ken] Well forget it! [Barbie] I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl Said I have it, I should bag it! Acne everywhere, unwanted facial hair! I'm a relation to Frankinstein's creation! [Ken] Your so ugly, You...

Put down your remote control Throw out your TV Guide Put away your jacket There's no need to go outside Don't you know that we control the horizontal We control the vertical, too We gonna make a couch potato out of you That's what we gonna do now Don'...

Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please We wanna give you a warning 'Cause I found out this morning About a dangerous, insidious computer virus If you should get it, an email with the subject, 'stinky cheese' Better off protecting your chan...

Faces filled with joy and cheer What a magical time of year Howdy Ho! It's Weasel Stomping Day Put your Viking helmet on Spread that mayonaisse on the lawn Don't you know it's Weasel Stomping Day All the little girls and boys Love that wonderful crunc...

It feels like I've been alone too long With no girls around, my mind was wondering Thinking of some way to release it I looked in the kitchen, saw some Crisco oil And that's when my blood started to boil, oh oh yeah. Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, uh-oh Ouh, Ouh, Ouh, oh god...

Hey girl, you know, our economy's in the toilet But I'm still gonna treat you right I said you can have whatever you like, if you like I said you can have whatever you like, if you like Yeah Tater tots, Cold Duck on ice And we can clip coupons all night...

Let me tell you sonny... let me tell you straight You kids today ain't never had it tough Always had everything handed to you on a silver plate You lazy brats think nothing's good enough Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was ninety degrees below We...

Yeah we are one fire, we have disires, but one is that way, one backstreet boy is gay, but we don't want to be mean since now he's a queen don't ask please which back street boy is gay, tell me who? ain't saying that its AJ, tell me who? ain't sayi...

They see me mowin' my front lawn I know they're all thinkin' I'm so White and nerdy Think I'm just too white and nerdy Think I'm just too white and nerdy Can't you see I'm white and nerdy Look at me I'm white and nerdy I wanna roll with the gan...

Everybody shut up, WOO! Everybody listen up! Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey If you can't write in the proper way If you don't know how to conjugate Maybe you flunked that class And maybe now you thought That people mock you online Okay,...

I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah Where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda S O D A, soda I saw the little runt sitting there on a log I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said "Yoda" Y O D A, Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Well, I'...

We've been together for so very long But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong? Seems you don't want me around The passion is gone and the flame's died down I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem That time that you made it with the whole hocke...

My life is brilliant... What, was I too early? Oh, sorry. Should I...Do you wanna start over? Or, keep going? Okay, now? Now? My life is brilliant Your life's a joke You're just pathetic You're always broke Your homemade Star Trek uniform Really ain't impres...