Tenacious D

She's 39, but she still looks young Not very young, but a lot of fun She's my 39 lady in the sun 49 and I'm feelin' fine In the sun that's a lot of fun Drinkin' mai tais, kickin' back with my flip-flops on I'm wearin' socks and my toe is tight I think...

This one goes to all the disciples out there on the journey that we call life You know there's only 5 needs And Kyle and I have compiled 'em And awoken them into song A song that we like to call the 5 needs First you need the planet Earth beneath your feet Yo...

I can't get to sleep tonight No matter how hard I try Cause it's cold and it's dark And the wind is a whistlin' And I can't seem to put out the light Momma's been searching for baby But baby been tryin' to get home Cause it's cold and it's dark And the moon ca...

This is the ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Cage Nothing could stop them when Jables and Rage hit the stage And Hollywood Jack hit the big time and when to make movies Rage Kage was left far behind in the dust of his dreams And he grumbled and growl...

[Beelz] I am complete! [Both] Fuck! [Beelz] Yes you are fucked, shit out of luck Now I'm complete and my cock you will suck This world will be mine and you're first in line You brought me the pick and now you shall both die! [JB] Wait, wait, wai...

JB: The mission is clear, i'm going over there I'm going to do the mission I flip around the corner, flat as a pancake And then i- aww noo! A camera Stay back here, devise a plan Dive into the bushes (Chorus) Against all odds Infiltrate, storm the gates! st...

Car chase city, that's the name of the game. It was all groovy, now it's totally lame. KG really fuckin' blew us a mess. Now we're fuckin' headed for a total KAPOW. Car chase city rollin' with my bud. thought that we wasn't, but we totally was. Car chase...

All you people up there in City Hall, You're fuckin' it up for the people that's in the streets. This is a song for the people in the streets, Not the people City Hall. All you motherfuckers in the streets it's time to rise up, Come along children an...

J: Hey Kage K: Jables J: How goes it man? K: S'good... s'good J: Y'know I been thinking a lot about it, and um, I just want us to be the Best fucking band in the world. K: Well yeah me too! J: There's no point in doing it if we're not the best. K: Wel...

Can't you see he's the man, let me hear you applaud he is more than a man he's a shiny golden god. If you think its time to fucking rock, and fucking roll, out of control, and then you know you got to rock the block, and fucking suck my fucking cock, 'cause w...

spoken] [KG:] Do you think that um, do you think that when the album, when this is out... [JB:] Yeah? [KG:] Do you think it will make us um, more attractive to the ladies? [JB:] Pshh, yeah, in fact, I been getting ready. [KG:] Yeah? [JB:] Yeah, I b...

What was I thinking? All this rage, it's the end of the world Spreading my hatred I must sound insane to every boy and every girl Colors are the thing that make the world better I've been seeing things in black and white If we work together we can live...

So, uh, If I was gonna just one thing to ya'll tonight, I'd say set the artist free. I'm talking about this artist in here, set it free! Im sayin': Quit your day job. Now I know alot of you people here are sayin': "I cant quit my day job, I got kids to feed Ja...

Cause it's the Pick! Of Destiny child, you know we will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane! Cause it's the Pick! Of Destiny child, more precious than a diamond on a platinum chain! In Venice Beach, there was a man named Kage When he was buskin' he was all...

The world is fucking turning to shit The earth don't stand a chance Hurricane typhoon will destroy the city We've got to clean up the skies and recycle We've got to stop the overpopulation But most important of all We've got to build a Deth Starr Det...

Dio has rocked for a long, long time, Now it's time for him to pass the torch. He has songs ofwildebeests and angels, He has soared on the wings of a demon. It's time to pass the torch, You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you. We're...

[spoken] Damn, a hard day's rockin'. Better slip off ma shoes. Maybe give a little stretch, and a bend. Dip m'toe to jacuzzi, baby. Slip out this book: The Buttress of Windsor. Ho ho ho, who's this? How's it goin'? [sung] That's the first thi...

spoken] [JB:] Kage... [KG:] Yeah? [JB:] Let's go to this drive-thru. (Motor Sounds) [KG:] Oh good, I'm starvin'. [Drive-thru guy:] (mumbles) [JB:] Yeah, um...ah [Drive-thru guy:] May I have your order? [JB:] Yeah, hold on a second, I'm lookin...

dude i totally miss you, i really fucking miss you, im all alone, all the time, all the time, dude i totally miss you, the things we do together, where have you gone? totally miss the honesty, and special times and honestly, i totally miss the fucked up thin...

Climb upon my faithful steed, Then we gonna ride, gonna smoke some weed. Climb upon my big-ass steed, And ride, ride, ride. Eeeee-eee-eee-eeeee-eeeee-eee-eee-eeeee-eeeee-eeeee-eeeee, What's the name of the song, Explosivo! Don't know what it'...

JB: Kage? KG: Wha... Hey... wha... what's happenin? JB: What are you doin here? KG: Oh I... uh... just... uh... I think I forgot somethin... Just you Know... JB: Wait a second. It's like 2am, In the middle of the night KG: Yeah JB: And your here i...

Friendship is rare, Do you know what I'm sayin' to you? Friendship is rare. My derriere, When you find out much later That they don't really care. It's rare to me, can't you see? It's rare to me, can't you see? Oh shit there's a bear,...

[spoken] Brrrrrriiiinngggg, Brrrriiiiinnnnggggg *click* [KG:] Two Kings [JB:] Hey KG [KG:] Hey [JB:] How's It Goin'? [KG:] Good, Good... [JB:] Whatta ya doin?.. [KG:] Aw, god I was just... [JB:] I Love You... [KG:] What You Say?? [JB:] I said I lov...

This is a song for the ladies But fellas listen closely... You don't always have to fuck her hard In fact sometimes that's not right to do Sometimes you've got to make some love And fuckin give her some smoochies too Sometimes ya got to squeeze...

KG: We should talk about the hard fucking, though... JB: Hard fucking? KG: Because, I think it's a pretty common complaint JB: Yeah, the ladies don't really like the hard fucking KG: You feel like you're giving them some extra juice JB: They're not into t...

This is a song called the history of Tenacious D, and its not just of list of bullshit that we've done in the past, its a chronicling of our rise to POWER! We ride with kings on mighty steeds, Across the devil's plain, We've walked with Jesus and his cross He...

Hope is a doggy A sweet doggy Standing next to a rose A flower grows in the soil There's still hope for life to exist For us to survive To thrive and survive And find a way to live our lives And live through this nuclear holocaust Let's get it on Ho...

spoken] [KG snores loudly] [JB:] Oh my god. Oh my god, I've done it. (shouts) Cage! Come here, I want you! [KG:] What? What?? God! I'm sleeping, dude! What are you talking about... [JB:] Oh my god. [KG:] What? [JB:] I did it. [KG:] What d'ya do? [JB:...

It was a big day on Jesus Ranch, Jesus Ranch He was harvesting a big tomato, He was in the sand, all right I’m taking a walk in the woods, It’s nice outside Smells of shit Lig a guing gligga gigga googa gwey oh go I come upon a silver striped mushroom...

With karate I'll kick your ass Here to Tiennamen Square. Oh yeah, muthafucka, I'm 'onna kick your fuckin' derriere. You broke the rules, Now I'll pull out all your pubic hair, You muthafucka. You muthafucka. Kyle betrayed me And then he lied tried to hide And...

..::Jack Black (Narrator)::.. A long ass fuckin' time ago, In a town called Kickapoo, There lived a humble family Religious through and through. But yay there was a black sheep And he knew just what to do. His name was young J.B. and he refused to step...

spoken] [KG:] Dude, we gotta fuckin' write something new. C'mon. [strums] [JB:] I don't like that. So far ba--, off to a bad start. [strums again] [JB:] Better, mateuszg, closer, warmer. [strums again] [JB:] That's it. Okay. [sung] I love ya baby bu...

Kooonnnng! There is nothing on Earth that is nearly as strong, As Kong! Kooonnnng! In the jungle he lives, that is where he belongs, King Kong! Kooonnnng! Beat the drum, light the flames, sacrifice, bang the gong! King Kong! (KONG!) (KING!) Kooonn...

Last week, Kyle quit the band, Now we're back together, uh. Misunderstanding, didn't understand. It doesn't matter, now we're back together again. A-la la la la la. Couldn't split up Kato and Nash. (that's true) Couldn't split up Tango and Cash. That's a...

JB: Kyle took a bullet for me, now I gotta rock for three. KG and me, don’t forget about Tenacious D, uh. KG: I took a bullet for JB, now I’m in Heaven and I can see. JB: Your decision to rescue me. KG: Was definitely Poops McGee. JB: No way, no KG, I...

Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee, We're talkin' fuckin' Lee. I had a friend named Lee, He cast a spell a spell on me. If me and Lee and KG could be three, Flyin' free Tenaciously, Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on ma...

Well me and Kage are hungry We're hungry for some fruit We wander through the garden It would be a hoot To eat some low hanging fruit We're on a freaky pursuit Don't want no high class model in designer fucking bathing suit We want the low hanging frui...

Augh! AUGH! I do not need,(he deos not need) A microphone (a microphone) My voice is fucking (fucking) POWERFUL! AUGH!!! AUGH!!! Sorry, I did not mean, (he did not mean) To blow your mind, (to blow your mind) But that shit happens to me all the time...

Well we met in the food court in the mall, She was in line at arbys and I was sippin on a malt, Such a lovely girl I walked up to her, I wanna make u mine and buy u diamonds and pearls, She gave me her pager number and said "beep me sometime" Right there...

Kyle Gass: Jack. Jack Black: Yeah? KG: Do you think some people... do you think that there's some people that aren't really... that are actually robots, living among us? JB: No. KG: ...that we can't tell... JB: No, we dont have the technology yet. But Rag...

Sasquatch: Arrgggghhhh! JB: Arrrggghhhh! Sasquatch: That's good, lets go an adventure, JB: Yeah, (la la la) Sasquatch: I've got lots to show you, (la la laaa) JB: Can i be a sasquatch too? (la la la) Sasquatch: You already are la la la youre my son JB, my witt...

'Cause it's the Pick! Of Destiny, child. You know where we'll be rockin', 'cause it's fuckin' insane. It's just the Pick! Of Destiny, child. More precious than a diamond on a platinum chain. In Venice beach there was a man named Kage. When he was busk...

Cause it's the Pick! Of Destiny child, you know I will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane! Cause it's the Pick! Of Destiny child, more precious than a diamond on a platinum chain! In Venice Beach, there was a man named Kage When he was buskin he was all th...

Since the beginning of time There had to be a man with a plan To push man, forward There was a caveman who, invented wheels And with those wheels he pushed man forward Someone had to come up with a new concept for life Had to push the mighty rock upon t...

Rivers of brown All flowin' down I like to say caca Rivers of gold Flowin' from us all I like to say Cuervo Rivers of white Blastin' through the night I like to say coco Rivers of brown Now they're rainin' down On your phoney crown Your phoney crown of brow...

When The Pick of Destiny was released it was a bomb, And all the critics said that the D was done. The sun had set and the chapter had closed, But one thing no one thought about, Was the D would rise again. Just like the phoenix We'll fuckin' rise again...

Well it's 3 P.M. Time to lug the gear Gotta get it on the stage My muscles flex, my fuckin' sweat will save the day When I check the mic I fucka' check the mic I fucka' checka' checka' 1,2,3 I plug it in, I make it sound as good as can be Cuz the roc...

I am a robot, naked and alone Sent from the future to build a new home Mission accomplished, find The D Save them from Daddy Ding Dong And... build a home... make it right... make it nice Kill all the evil, and the Nazis KKK, kill them all, dat what me...

Go Rock is dead, rock is dead Rock is dead, rock is dead Talk to my friend, that's what he said Is rock still around? No rock is dead It's all over, rock and roll is dead Bottle of jack, Mercury Fred Muscle car, Grateful Dead Lord of the Rings, Zeppe...

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-6-6! [sung] It doesn't matter if it is good, It only matters if it rocks. The main thing that we do is to rock your socks off. There's no such thing as a rock prodigy, 'Cause rock 'n roll is bogus, right KG? (right!) Only thing...

Rocket, Rocket, All of my Rocket Sauce, All of my fuckin' Rocket Sauce, All of my Rocket Sauce, Hey! Rocket, Rocket, All of my Rocket sauce... all of my... dude Thats the ice cream song... Yea, i know Kyle... 

There were some scientists Tryin' to figure out the sasquatch riddle Then they figured out it was a missing link "In search of sasquatch" - That was a kick ass "In search of.." With Leonard nimoy kicking out the jams Hauwww He captured imaginations of people...

Baby we was making straight A's But we were stuck in a dumb daze Don't take much to memorize your lies I feel like I've been hypnotocised And then that magic man he come to town WHOO-WEE He done spun my head around He said "Recess is in session 2 and 2 makes 5...

Señorita, tasty mamacita Tell me baby, what's your name Oh Conchita, won't you have a seat-a Tell me baby, who's to blame? I'll fuckin' kill the man who has done you wrong My body's shakin' out of control His name is Larry, oh he's really scary Drinki...

(Feat. Lee) Lee: Well, me and K.G., yeah, we're going to sing, A little song about a few special things, Special things... talking special things. Like when a friend gives a friend a helping hand, Helps his little buddy to understand... That's a speci...

What's it gonna be Kyle? You have to decide. Tits or destiny? Tits. Whooooahahaha! Ahhh!!! 

The government totally sucks, You motherfucker! The government totally sucks! Ben Franklin was a rebel indeed, He liked to get naked while he smoked on the weed, He was a genious but, if he was here today, The government would fuck him up his righteous...

We're the ship without a storm The cold without the warm Light inside the darkness That it needs, yeah We're a laugh without tear The hope without the fear We are coming, home We're off to the witch We may never, never, never, come home But the magic that we...

You can't kill the metal The metal will live on Punk rock tried to kill the metal But they failed as they were smited to the ground New wave tried to kill the metal But they failed as they were stricken down to the ground Grunge tried to kill the meta...

The road is fuckin' hard, The road is fuckin' tough-ah, There's no question that-eh It is rough, rough stuff. It's the fuckin' road my friend But it's the only road I know. When I'm lunchin' on a tasty boosh Right after the show. You g-go go go! The...

They fucked our asses They fucked 'em hard But we kept our indie cred For the whole nine years Ha They blocked our album They fucked our show But we marched through hill and ill Through the ice and snow Ha 

Moses came down from the hill Holding the rules in his hand Looked all around Suddenly found Noone was listening Now it's time to throw down So throw down Throw down We throw down Throw down Jesus turned water to wine The star in the sky was a s...

To be the best We got to pass the test We gotta make it all the way To the top of the mountain We can do it again! To feel the high We got to learn to fly We got to take it to the sky On the wings of an eagle! You're the best in the world! You are t...

It could've been disaster til the pupil found his master! Something rhymes with master! He's teaching him in the ways of rock! His fingers move with blinding speed! Within my mind he'll plant the seed! I'm proud to be amongst his learned flock! He teach...

(Intro Role Play) JACK: This is it, Buddy KYLE: What? This is the awesome recording studio where we're gonna record our album? JACK: It's a studio, it says it on the door! It's official studio! KYLE: This is one of those lame karaoke things JACK: Okay, y...

High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds, There sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly. Not much to say when you're high above the mucky-muck. Yeah, yeah. Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power? Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-...