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Springtime Is The Season

The summer's good for tulips, Though pansies disagree. They find the heat most distasteful, And humidity far too grim to stand up tall And bargain with the bees. They prefer to droop and mope And wait for autumn's breeze. The autumn's good for pumpkins...

St. Sebastian

[Verse 1] Standing on the edge of sanity Throwing insults at the void Zero plus zero is the Lord's work But if you do it he gets annoyed I'd feel less like St. Sebastian If you'd stop searching for another arrow Why are you always repeating yourself Li...

Suffer For Fashion

We just want to emote 'til we're dead I know we suffer for fashion or whatever We don't want these days to ever end We just want to emasculate them forever Forever, forever Oh pretty sirens don't go flat It's not supposed to happen like that Not...

The Actor's Opprobrium

I guess I should have known to stay away From a snuff film by Gene Genet But the cash was good and the director gave me the biggest scene What does it mean when Pentacostal born again virgins appear picketing in angry protest? Oh those sloppy tarts have s...

The Autobiographical Grandpa

I take a walk I mow the grass I don't worry 'bout the years that pass My wife is dead I live alone in my little country home I have my memories and dogs for friends I water the ferns I plant some seeds I make sure to pull out all the weeds And to hel...

The Blank Husband Epidemic

My Auntie Eleanor had a very unhappy husband who hated his job and hated his life So he wanted to drive his tan Chevy off of a bridge because he hated his car and he hated his life He couldn't silence the ever present thought ”I'm doing all I can yet I...

The Events Leading Up To The Collapse Of Detective

There was jello in the fingerprints Detective Dulllight discovered. It proved to be the most important finding in the case And where as Detectives Slocks and Slovits slobbered over smutty photographs Dulllight had a better lead to follow. He followed the ri...

The Hollow Room

Someone's in love with someone who doesn't love them back their body's like a hollow room They carry around an empty feeling wherever they go, wherever they go When one is crying over someone who doesn't even care, their body's like an empty tomb They ca...

The Hopeless Opus Or The Great Battle Of The Unfri

Let's reminisce of our first dance together along the ocean floor. Your dress was made of egg shells. My hair was in a pompadour While we were hunting for the Marshmallow Coast. I played a prank that brought shame to one of my colleagues. I taught Herr C...

The Inner Light

I've heard about inner light it makes the brown in your eyes look watery I felt something while talking to you, Gently intoxicating I felt the source of your inner light It's such a struggle though I know I have to, I just can't bring myself to touch it...

The Miniature Philosopher

He's a miniature philosopher He stands five foot three So no one takes him seriously He's in love with Gertrude Lullaby But she doesn't care for him He's like a house boy to Miss Lullaby And their future looks very dim He's a miniature philosopher He...

The Past Is A Grotesque Animal

The past is a grotesque animal And in its eyes you see How completely wrong you can be The sun is out, it melts the snow that fell yesterday Makes you wonder why it bothered I fell in love with the first cute girl that I met Who could appreciate George...

The Problem With April

The problem with April is the problem with May is the problem with June and July it's the problem with all of the months since you said goodbye The problem with Monday is the problem with Tuesday is the problem with Wednesday and Thursday it's the proble...

The Repudiated Immortals

The creator of what’s now clich? had some funny words to say ”All you little things are incomplete” why did he speak of us that way? I don’t cry not ’cause I don’t care It’s very hard to feel the way we used to feel up there The creator of what’s now clic...

The Secret Ocean

Secret ocean and its coast Spills out into the room And it made me think Of how you float away To another distant room Embracing the unknown And I wonder what You're doing there today Because I'm always thinking of you Your invisible rays slice me in...

The World Keeps Going Round

You worry 'bout the sun What's the use of worrying 'bout thebig old sun? You worry 'bout the rain The rain keeps falling just the same You worry when the one you need has found somebody new But the world keeps going round The world keeps going round Yo...

The You I Created

It's hard to know exactly when my dreams got weird I tense up and get antsy when you're near But nightly you appear to me ghostly in my head but I never can remember what you said It must be something reassuring something sweet and kind something you w...

There Is Nothing Wrong With Hating Rock Critics

i'm not confused like you pig you're falling from your tree there's something wrong with you there's something wrong with me there's nothing wrong with me i'm not impressed by you, maggot's vomit on the seat there's something wrong with you there's noth...

This Feeling (Derek'S Theme)

I'm so excited, I just can't wait for you to come. I've been living alone and lonely far too long. When I see your face And the love that's in your eyes, You know I just can't place this feeling. I'm so excited, All my sad days will soon be over. I kno...

Tim I Wish You Were Born A Girl

Tim, wish you were born a girl, So I could've been your boyfriend. I know it's not possible now. I just never met a girl I like half as much as you. And we could lay around in bed, stay there all day, Or at least until the afternoon And I could make you...