Groucho Marx piosenki

Annie Berger I use to live in a street called Ninety-third Street. And there was a girl there that I was stuck on. She was almost fifteen years old. And I used to go out every morning and buy bread for my mother. I used to get the stale bread, because it...

And Chico was the gambler of the family. He pawned everything. My father was a tailor, and a very bad one, and Chico was always short of money, and he used to hock my fathers shears, so whenever my father made a suit, of course it didn't fit, and the shear...

(spoken intro) Today, father is father's day and we're giving a tie It's not much you know it is just our way of showing you we think you're a regular guy You'll said it was nice of us to bother but it really was a pleasure to fuss for according to ou...

Hello, I Must Be Going First I would like to take a bow for Harpo and Chico. Hello, I must be going. I cannot stay, I came to say I must be going. I'm glad I came but just the same I must be going. For my sake you must stay, for if you go away, you'll spoil...

[Groucho] I don't know what they have to say, It makes no difference anyway, Whatever it is, I'm against it. No matter what it is or who commenced it, I'm against it. Your proposition may be good, But let's have one thing understood, Whatever it is, I...

Thank you, it's nice to be wanted. I...I must eh tell you, for the people in the back, it's Dick Cavett up here. I can't believe that I'm here tonight. It's not Carnegie Hall that gets to me, but I can't believe that I know Groucho Marx and he asked me to....

Spoken: Lady: If it's not asking too much, Sung: For our information Just for illustration Tell us how you intend to run the nation Rufus T. Firefly: These are the laws of my administration No one's allowed to smoke Or tell a dirty joke And whist...

Churchill & 2nd World War I don't know if you remember the 2nd World War, because there's so many now, it's hard to keep track of them. Well, during the 2nd World War, Hess had been sent by Hitler to try to negotiate peace with Churchill. Churchill a...

When I was over in London, some years ago - I did a quizshow over there for a while. It wasn't too succesful, but the...eh...the American ambassador, he liked me, because I used to be funny and crack jokes. Jackie Onassis' sister, Radziwill, you may have s...

Oh Lydia, Oh Lydia Now have you met Lydia Lydia the tattooed lady She has muscles men adore-so And a torso even more-so Oh, Lydia, Oh Lydia Now have you met Lydia Lydia the queen of tattoo On her back is the battle of Waterloo Beside it the wreck of t...

Well, let's get down to cases. How I got started in showbusiness. I saw an ad in the Morning World, which doesn't exist anymore - and hardly do I. The ad said "Boy wanted to sing". I ran all the way from Ninety-third Street, where I lived then, to Thirty-t...

Oh, How That Woman Could Cook I once knew a woman who couldn't spell cat. Her face was as homely as chintz. That wasn't necessary, that part you did. Hamlisch: Could I...could I try it again? Let's keep it on a high basis. Hamlisch: Could I try it a...

I was playing the Palace Theater once, and Sarah Bernhardt was on the bill. She was one of the first great stars to play the Palace. She insisted on getting a thousand dollars in cash before she appeared. She was old at that time, but they wanted her at th...

I had an uncle named Julius, he was well over four feet. And I was named after him, 'cause we were under some peculiar impression that he had money. As a matter of fact, my father wanted to throw him out of the house, but my mother said "No, no, I remember...

Marvin Hamlisch. That must be you, eh? Oh, this is Marvin Hamlisch. I'm gonna sing you a song written by my good friend Harry Ruby. It's called Timbuctoo. Are you ready to play this song. Hamlisch: Always ready! Long ago in old New Amsterdam, there lived a c...

Obviously, with the Lucetania laying at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, I would have got killed if I had sang this song in Canada. So I put some make-up on again, and I made myself a Jew comedian, which I'd never been, I'd never been a Jew comedian, and...

t was a very peculiar family. I had an uncle who was a chiropodist. He would come to your house, and he had a small suitcase, and he would cut your toenails for twenty-five cents. Then he got a job, 'cause there is not much money in cutting toenails for tw...

I understand that some time ago Jack Benny played the violin here at Carnegie Hall, and I thought it would be a good idea to take this and break it over my knee and then jump on it. I've had quite enough of Jack Benny. And so has the violin.