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Self(Ish)

Your partner is a lawn gnome Who lives online, and I know I'm quite inclined to stay home Call the outside an arsehole You barter well but polychrome light shines on my face The outdoors is grey You'll find I'm resigned, a shameful display "Hey Kid, get...

Song For A Guilty Sadist

This makes me feel like a weak man who thinks that he is strong.  Must I play the chauvanist to be the man you want?  Sweaty fingers push down on your throat, you say you like it rough,  but it's hard to think I do this out of love.  And from my own subm...

Squeezing The Damp Tea Towel To It's Final Few Drips

Many moons of moping over changes I won't make My motor mouth runs from fear of making more mistakes Implicate myself through false guilt and voice breaks Jilted speech, inspecting feet, waiting for an answer you are but me sway silently staring into space...

Story of the Lizard and the Sock

I did not know what it would do I hid a lizard inside your room I came in at night and I snuck it in your sock draw It had buggy little eyes and funny little claws When I woke up in the morning I heard a big scream Did you find the lizard or was it a...

The Poured Boy of Kutná Hora

Dan was singing about 10,000 crustations And Meis was crying and we did not know why How we hope she is alright, we passed a cross in the dark It was lit up, and so where the pavements The parts in the darkness, which are chosen to remain illuminated....

The Song Title Was Too Long (So now it's shorter)

Could you be the one who drives me to be better? Helps me realize my dream of being a sophisticated begger. I'm going to get older faster than I think. I'l need an arm to link with when I limp. If I go my way, I'll have lonely days, and only one they say...

There All Is aching

Waking panic soon drifts out, I inhale the teapots Spout My shit impending doom, impending blaze dazed and con- Fused Into my seat retreat, from fears and procrastinate Bubbling up inside, find a way to calm my Mind Is set on dark, roll and blaze, make...

Thomas Saunders Gang Chant

She shakes my hand and I die a little inside. I'm not ready for this, no, not this time. She's my lucky charm, but I'm a stranger again. I'm making new enemies and losing old friends. If I thought that this could get any better I would've waited, I would've w...

Thomas Saunders Lloyd Weber

I was born to be mothered, in that sense nothing has changed. I know wail when I'm troubled. I don't grow up I just parody myself. I used to hear your voice everyday, so now when I hear you it freaks me the fuck out. Otherwise I'd forget it, so when you...

Thoughts on Self-Described DIY Bands Engaging With A Profit-Based Print Media

I'm just jealous I'm just mad but can you really queer Kerrang!? I'm sure I'd say different if I was fan but I'm not. Don't want to be bitter I want to be better But that word I seem to repeat forever Do I want to be nice or do I want to be clever?...

Tin Foil Hat Crew At The Student House Party

Google have been tracing my footsteps, mining my movement for data they own my wealth of information I let them I ticked a box so now I'm a Guy Fawkes mask on a soapbox feeling highly unorthodox But see I see centrifugal politics , OC says he's a centris...

Unassimilated Normie

Oh taboo, how I both love and hate you How some days I only want to break you But what is broken seems a mess at least to be The one who breaks the silence, to face alone the violence whilst I sit and watch in safe and silent agreement Oh convention, h...

Waste

It's as if I believe the more that I squeeze this pillow between my thighs The more likely the chance, I'll find romance if it somehow becomes alive I share my bed with a bad brain spilt ash and cum stains almost every night Find me a drug to replace the lo...

Welcome To Castle Irwell

I woke up this morning wanting to cry and when I called her I realised why. Although she was honest, she spoke with a cold tongue. I broke down in the courtyard when it came to light she broke every promise in the space of one night. She made me hate this city...

When You Eat Yourself, First Start With Your Head Up Your Arse

Orange binge come carriages sky high ask why! No whinge. Carriage kite fly by. Can't bite? try! lozenge and quince. Jelly hair wash with my head in the sink lemon on my toe, aloe vera in my drink raspy berry lisps heavy wispy hair forget me dance...

Who Am I???1

Who am I? Do my genetics decide? Am I a predetermined piece of shit, or is that just what transpired? Well I'm bolstered by the transience of identity. Don't tell me who I am. I am nothing and so are you, and that's good it's like when I speak of I, I...

Woodchuck

How much wood could I chuck if I gave a flying fuck about chucking bits of wood? I wonder if I would, or would I just do the same and say it's what I do when I don't do it everyday? Just take the process as my name and now I feel ashamed When I say it's...

You Couldn't Teach Me Integrity

Theres a likely chance that if you’re a girl I’ve met I’ve imagined a life with you. I know that probably sounds obsessive but that’s just what I do. I’m desperate like a praying atheist, I need love I need affection and I hate myself for this. Get over yo...

You Won't Meet A Girl Sat In Your Room Listening..

You Won't Meet A Girl Sat In Your Room Listening To Music (But Some Songs Can Still Give You Butterflies) It's just another fucking song that rhymes the WORDS 'miss' and 'kiss'. I know it's easy, but I can't help but relate to this. I don't even apply thes...

Your Own Worst Enemy Critic

You make me feel like what I do is important The pressure of a compliment I am humbled and bemused Ill fitting in these shoes You choose what you choose. Let's all take a step back now and focus on the luck that comes with praise a turn of phrase that...