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A Funny Thing

Two people, great for each other, meet by mistake Now you tell me is that coincidence? You've got two others, great for each other, They've never met and never will Is that coincidence or fate fulfilled? Is this a part of a master plan Or are we on our...

Bartender

Hey everybody can I have your attention? I wanna tell you about the world's most noble profession. Always there for you, on that you can depend, I'm talking about man's best friend. Serving us is how he thrives, touches all our lives. Tried and true, al...

Beer Muscles

I go out, I have a beer to start the night I have some more, I feel alright! Hey Bartender, double whiskey here we go Yo make that a triple I can't say no Feeling good and getting happy I just got to smile A real good mood and I'm one cool dude 'Cause...

Big Fun

Hey you! How do you do? What's the matter, sleepwalking with out a clue? Get real, here's the deal, Life's too short-spin the win, Kick back, cut yourself some slack Fun is what you gotta have or you're gonna crack Big Fun everyone-Fun job #1 Dum ditty...

Dead Man Blues

I went to a doctor with a pain in my head He said: "Tumor boy! Six months you're dead, It's gonna be slow and painful It ain't gonna be no fun" So I went home and decided I'll end it now my life's done Game Over, end of the ride It's suicide!!! So I...

Don't Call Me Dude

Here's my story, sad but true About a girl that I once knew. She broke my heart, I became unglued, It all started when she called me dude Well today I leave the psycho ward Cause my sentence did conclude: I had killed a man with my bare hands Because h...

Down The Road (Rock And Roll Ain't Pretty)

Down in the dumps and feeling blue, Sitting home got nothing to do. Help me-Just get me.... Down the road, down the road, that's where it's best. Homesick for the road again, homesick, it's our friend When we're on tour we're at our best, Anywhere; Nort...

Down With The Ship (Slight Return)

Sailing on a big ship Deaf, dumb, blind Sailing through a wild one To the other side I'm not going down with the ship Everyone's captain Trying to tell you what to do I want to do what's right for me For me - not you I'm not going down with the shi...

Drunken Milkman

Drunken milkmen driving drunk, Swerves on the curves. Chevrolet heads his way... A flash - A crash! Milk and blood, blood and milk Family of four, family no more. Drunken milkmen driving drunk. 

Earache My Eye

My mama's talkin' to me She tells me how to live, But I don't listen to her 'Cause my head is like a sieve. My daddy he disowned me 'Cause I wear my sisters clothes, He caught me in the bathroom With a pair of pantyhose. The basketball coach Done ki...

Everybody Does It

Say hello, say good-bye It's time to go to live or die Left - right - left, now you're doing fine Step right up and join the line It's your lucky day, hip - hip hurray! Just leave your brain and walk this way Everybody does it - Everybody does it! Ever...

Fine Line

Once upon a time I used to be alive, I lived and loved, I laughed and cried. But I've forgotten how 'Cause that was then and this is now I'm down so low, the cold rain and snow, Has battered my body, shattered my soul Beat up, broke down, so low. Beat...

Goodbye Freedom, Hello Mom

We'll ban that book and T.V. show, Forget that movie, no you can't go. Can't sell that record, don't like that song. We know what's right we know what's wrong. Can't have abortions, what's yours ain't yours, Just obey the laws. Too young to drink, say no...

Grandma's House Of Babes

Way down in Louisiana close to New Orleans, I was raised among the evergreens. In a titty-bar made of earth and wood, It was my grandma's, it was good. She never ever learned to read or write so well, But she could run a bar like ringing a bell. And all...

Here Comes Trouble

Oh no, here I go... If I go here or I go there or anywhere, It follows me or meets me there - it's in the air Here comes trouble What did I do now, how did I get where I am? Well where am I? That's what I say a lot of days When I wake up and see that I a...

How Could I Love You

"Quiere dejame contar las olas del mar Te puedo quiero mas que un ano tiene dias Te quiero mas que ningun otro hombre en la ciudad But baby, como te puedo quiere if you won't lie down!" I'm tired, so tired of the same mistakes I always seem to make It'...

I'm With Stupid

Part One: I Had A Dream This is it, it was like this... Thought I was the king, thought that I was it And I had no tolerance for idiots. I was always saying most people are dicks, I made fun of all them jerks That's how I got my kicks. I laughed at men...

Logic

Stop, look, listen, learn; your lessons have begun. O.K. school's in session-lesson #1, Inductive, deductive reasoning and thought. It's called logic, are you ready to be taught? It won't take long, you can't go wrong. Use it and you're always right, An...

Mr. Johnson And The Juice Crew

Here is a tribute to my best friend, Hung with me since the beginning And he'll be there to the end. Talkin' Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew. I love Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew too, And all the girls that meet him, they love him too. 'Cause he's the b...

Outta Time

I can still remember the first time you tried it, Just like yesterday High as a kite, yeah you tried it and you liked it, Problems went away. I watched as you turned the outside in And took off with the night, Without a care in the world you never felt...