Rodney Carrington

I Got A 12 Inch Dick & A Dozen Roses, and a pick up truck, hubba hubba hubba heyy 

I don't like poodles and potpourri Pastel colors ain't good on me I need a woman that I can squeeze These are the things that I believe I like John Wayne and overalls Hate chick flicks and shopping malls I thank God that I've got balls A pickup truck,...

Alright yall, Whenever i go WEHOO! I want yall to say sing you bastard WEHOO! (crowd)Sing you Bastard She had a gap between her two front teeth that you could drive a truck through(beep, beep), wreked like a trashcan dumpster that would kill you, she dr...

I gotta tell you this too,you know,I'm a short fucker,you know,like I said,I gotta,I work purely off personality.I aint got a problem with it.If I was tall I'd probably be stupid,I'm just guessing,I don't know. But you tall fuckers got it good when it comes t...

Good evening, your dream is here for I am Carlos You think I’m sexy and your right, come a little closer I wont bite. I see the love that’s in your eyes, between my legs you’ll find a prize. For I am what your dreaming of, I am Carlos man of love. Aroun...

I saw her sittin in a bar room, in that smoky atmosphere. She smiled back at me, as I drank down one last beer. She pulled me on the dance floor, we danced a song or two. It was then I realized that I'd bit off more than I could chew. I think I'm dancin' wi...

Dear Penthouse Rodney Carrington Dear Penthouse: I’m a freshman at a small Midwestern university And I never thought something like this could happen to me When my teacher with the dynamite ass, asked me to stay after class And she started to undress I...

I remember way back when i was just a boy, goin places with my mom and dad, It used to scare me to death, how momma used to act after six or seven beers she's had. we were sittin at a table when momma got disabled all the liquor runnin to her head, Soon...

He once shot a man just for snorin' Got outta bed and shot him dead Well his name was, I didnt know what his name was So we just called him Fred He was ridin cross the desert on a horse to another town Lookin for a woman in a night gown The horses name w...

I wrote this song, my wife hates it, which makes it a lot more promiseing im gunna sing it He's a... Gay factory, worker from the south, He'll take what men pee out of and put it in his mouth. He works all day with a great big smile and he carries a l...

Come home It's been so long We're missing you at home So hang up that phone Cuz I'm coming back home Back home Come home It's been so long I can't hide no more So hang up the phone Cuz I'm coming back home Drive me home Drive me home Drive me home...

Back in 1932 in a sleazy bordello Grandma worked her fingers to the bone While others were baking cookies Grandma was sellin' nookie to lonly men so they wouldn't be alone They say she was the best lay Thats how she kept the rent paid She's seen alot of...

(M)-We first met we made love every hour, now -A- days I always have to beg. (W)-When we first met your stomach was a six-pack, now -A- days it looks more like a keg. (B)-It's to late now we're married, till we're dead and buried. (B)-Your stuck with me, a...

One beer then I'm gone. The ugliest women that I've laid eyes on got together and decided to come here. They're not pretty, they're not small. I don't give a damn at all. Tonight I'm only havin' just one beer. Yeah tonight I'm only havin' just two beers. I...

Dear Penis, I don't think I like you anymore, You used to watch me shave, Now all u do is stare at the floor. Oh dear Penis, I don't like you anymore. It used to be you and me, A paper towel, and a dirty magazine, That's all we needed to get by. Now...

When I'm sittin' on a toilet in a house that I don't know Lookin' all around me where'd the toilet paper go Feelin' real uneasy, feelin' real uncertain Cause I gotta wipe my butt again with a shower curtain It's those little things those itty bitty things...

I remember way back when i was just a boy, Goin’ places with my mom and dad, it used to scare me to death how momma used to act after six or seven beers she's had. we were sittin’ at a table when momma got disabled all the liquor runnin’ to her head, and...

She likes to go hunting with her buddies She once killed a dear with just a stick She likes those smoky bars and rock gut whiskey And pull my fingers still her favorite trick She likes Hormel chilly on her ice cream yeah With a jalapeño pepper on the sid...

Moooooooorning Woood Yeeehhhaaaa!!!! Well I get up in the mornin and I’m feelin good Cuz underneath the covers is my mornin wood My wife wakes up and looks my way Kids run in and ruin my day Wood Wood Wood Morning Wood Wood Wood He’s a man who really...

Lift me up each day Even though you've gone away Your Spirit dances in my mind In my heart, and in my soul The life you lived, The Love you left The one's you've touched, we won't forget You give us strength in time of need My Friend, My Angel Friend...

im gettin married to my pickup truck it doesn't leave me when im down on my luck it doesn't shop at fancy stores or have a lawyer or want a divorce it doesn't care if I stay out late it doesn't bitch about the money i make we'll be together till the end...

Rodney Carrington Put You Clothes Back on Put your clothes back on, I'd rather be alone. Your thing is all worn out now get on home. You've had too many lovers, They've worn off the hair. There ain't no way I'm goin in there. Put your clothes on, and...

I was born a rapper's son from Atlanta, Pimping hos when I was five years old. We had plenty of Cristal and a Bentley, Cause that's just how we always like to roll. We didn't mind, showing off our Bling, Bling, Our golden teeth and our Cadillac Escalade....

Oh it seems to me this whole world's gone crazy There's too much hate and killin goin on But when I see the bare chest of a woman My worrys and my problems are all gone No one thinks of fightin, when they see a topless girl Baby if you would show yours too, we...

she had a gap between her two front teeth that you could drive a truck through breath like a trash can dumpster, that would kill you she drove a 1973, chevy blazer and her legs & her armpits never seen a razor.... she had curlers in her hair, window ro...

Well I got home and the door was locked, So I tried to ring the bell I found a little bitty note that she had wrote telling me to go to hell I crawled in the window, I got inside She kicked me in the balls and then i cried called me a name, said I lied, k...

We were young when we first met, And I won’t ever forget the way you made me feel that night back then, Little did I know my life had change forever inside of you my angel had appeared All at once the baby came along, everything was moving fast but nothi...

i've been married nine years. thats one story. my wife has been through everything. i've learned some shit bout marriage. never start a sentence with the words your fuckin mother. if you get to "er" you take off runnin you wont see the poody poo for quite some...

Titties and beer (titties and beer) Big old titties and beer (titties and beer) I thank god almighty for titties and beer (fat titties and beer) Hunting two legged deer (titties and beer) Thank god I ain't queer (bring him out here) There's one thing dad...