Neil Innes

Just left school, nice and clean Power tool man machine Steady job, nine to five Wonder if I'm still alive I'm completely bored Nationally insured Life is not so hard When they stamp your card 9 to 5 pollution blues Only got my soul to lose Wish I d...

Where is the turning point? The age of desperation? When our opinions become more convincing than before When we know what is right! (because we cannot see alternative) And we know we shall lose all if we doubt ourselves. What is objectivity? Keeping t...

I don't like the world sometimes And sometimes the world don't like me I guess it's only fair But it's neither here nor there when you're all alone all alone all alone all alone I got no time for self pity I'm not about to cry Though no one seems...

He's happy-go-lucky, even devil-may-care Drivin' a sportscar with the wind in his hair yeah yeah But it don't mean a thing oh no She's pretty as can be in a low-cut dress She's all 'come and get me' with such finesse yeah yeah But it don't mean a thin...

Who are we? Why are we here? Where are we going? Are we going anywhere at all? Who knows the answer? Maybe the answer is, "Life is too short to be small." Life is good, life is bad Life is happy, life is sad But it's also all so confusing Life is fa...

Amoeba Boogie, Amoeba Boogie Amoeba Boogie, slippin' and slidin' Amoeba Boogie, matter dividin' Amoeba Boogie, nuclear rule okay Amoeba Boogie, every life is livin' on Amoeba Boogie, every thing and everyone Amoeba Boogie (amoeba boogieee!) Amoeba Boo...

I don't want to do you no harm But sometimes I feel the weight of the world And it's so heavy and it's bringing me down And I need you Angelina my girl Come little Angelina I don't wanna do you no harm Take me where the grass is greener Take me where th...

I don't want to fall in love again I know my heart could never stand the pain Meanwhile I'll try to get by if I can From now on I'll be another lonely man I'd like to thank you For the way you held my hand That moonlit night Down by the old Rio Grande...

Hey now, say now, let's get away now Away with words! Words like we say each and every day Away with words! What's in a name? Whaddaya say? So many words at the end of the day! I talk, you talk, they talk, we all talk Away with words! Away with word...

I was the toughest guy in town... Used to throw my weight around... Then one night at our town hall I fell in love! My baby wrestles in the ring My baby she's the sweetest thing She's as pretty as a rose If you disagree she'll smash your nose She's a...

Woooo! I think I'll get myself on the bandwagon With my twelve bar blues And sing of love or magic dragons What else have I got to lose? Yes, I think I'll get myself on the bandwagon Wear fancy clothes you can see through And when I got all my drag on...

Well you can take it any way you want You can shake it 'til it's back to front You can rock it 'til it's inside out Let me tell you what it's all about It's a rock 'n roll symphony And it's gonna be the death of me They call me Blue Suede Schubert The...

Daddy went off to work about 7:30 He put on his overalls and his working gloves He said "United drew again" to his cousin Ernie And read a magazine about crime and secret love And if it all sounds boring If it all sounds boring If it all sounds boring...

When you've had about enough Of the paparazzi stuff in the media With its freedom to depress And its easy money t.v. shows While down in the city There are fat kitties getting even greedier With their claws in the corporate drawers Where the money goes...

When a cabinet minister resigns Circumstances must be carefully defined Virtue versus vices Only causes crises No scandal with ideals can be combined When a cabinet minister resigns Should the name of law & order be maligned, they're privately distr...

Feeling cosy, safe as houses, Neil has a busy day in IBoR Sitting in her easy chair Watchin' t.v., sippin' whisky, In her see-through underwear She lights a cigarette, the room is much too hot She opens up the window, showing all she's got Feeling restl...

oooooo... ooeeeah....... A busy life Keeps a body busy With so many same old things to do... So why not stop And take a good look around Maybe you will find out something new to you... Like how do the trees make noises Lnd where does the wind come f...

Cafeteria fantasy, reflections in a spoon I think I'll leave my coffee If my baby doesn't come soon With the neon lights of a snack bar There came a strange perfume Of fallen leaves and roses So I looked around the room But nothing seemed unusual The...

You flicker like a candle In the soft and gentle breezes Of a deep sea diver's nightmare At a boulevard decanter You flutter like an eagle In the corner of a jam jar While the spinning wheel keeps turnin' Like a broken tam o'shanter Carry on, Melissa,...

Cut meat, cut meat, In your tin Did you once walk around like me? If you could only speak What would you say anyway? "I was a sheep's head" "And I was its lung" "And I was the liver in a horse" Let's do the Cat Meat Conga (here kitty kitty, here kitt...

I wanna catchphrase, I wanna start a craze I wanna gimmick, I wanna hit I'm just a poor boy with a song and a smile And not just another shallow entertainer I'm A-tellin' what I know is true I wanna catchphrase I wanna start a craze I wanna make love t...

Rain drops pitter-patter, umbrella Neil Runnin' down your window Heaven knows it's oh-so cold outside How could I ever think of walkin' out that door, As if I didn't need your love anymore. Up above the clouds The sun is always shining Or so they say,...

Tomorrow never comes Or so the saying goes So take each precious moment and make it last It's all been said before It's true, I know it's true The present is the future of the past So now I'm livin' in a caveman's dream No open fire, no nearby stream...

Annie went to art school At the age of seventeen Her drawings in a folio To keep them looking clean Her tutors all agreedje ne sais quoi She had a certain "je ne sais quoi" With her Modigliani body And her face by Renoir "I like Cezanne," says Anne,...

My eyes are open, what do I see? I see creation to some degree The sun and moon, day and night Big and small, wrong and right Chalk and cheese, water and wine I think our love needs a little more time Time for each other, time to discover That we got a...

Charlie Big Potatoes Hey guess who I... Hey! Listen up you guys! Hey guess who I ran into only just the other day Who? Who was it? Charlie Charlie Who? Big Potatoes Charlie Big Potatoes? Charlie Big Potatoes You remember him And how everybo...

See how the good times roll See how the good times roll See how the good times roll away Like ice in a drink invisible ink or dreams in the cold light of day The children of rock 'n roll never grow old they just fade away... 

All along the ocean floor Unseen fish are swimming High among the mountains There are watchful eagles winging Brown and wise, the forest eyes Peek from their disguise While the household fly with the compound eye Sees one man a hundred times! When I w...

An ordinary day in the City of the Angels The temperature downtown was 85 and rising On radio the Reverend Carwash Proclaimed he was against abortion Except in certain cases of rape Involving different ethnic groups While up and down the freeways Expens...

One two three! The old brown rat that smiles all the while Produced a cake with a file from his hat "Don't leave me here," said the watersnake And began to shake with fear "I know him of old!" cried the unicorn With his shiny horn of gold "I'll shoot y...

In my high rise shoes I can walk tall concrete jungle middle aged man I'm a concrete jungle boy I can write my name all over a wall I'm a concrete jungle boy The teacher's a fool so I don't go to school I just hang around playin' it cool Snappin' my fi...

I got m'hand up the skirt of Mother Nature I got m'foot in the door of liberty I got m'head stuck in the railings of reason Thank God for the banjo on m'knee Crystal balls (balls!) To fortune tellers Reveal a swarm of what-will-bees (zoom zoom zoom zoo...

Just an old fashioned day in the country Under heavenly skies of blue Just an old fashioned day in the country With nothing better to do Just an old fashioned day in the country Sunlight sparkling through the trees Just an old fashioned day in the count...

Dear Father Christmas with your white, fluffy whiskers instead of just a letter I am writing you a song this year Its not for the money I'm not being funny It's for something else to do with what we call the season of good cheer Dear Father Christmas...

It won't be long now before we turn this corner And when we do we'll keep on down that road We'll keep on going along the straight and narrow There's no two ways about it down that road Never mind the weather as long as we're together It would take an av...

Bella was a beauty queen One of a kind She couldn't get ambition off her mind She entered every contest from Redcar to Penzance She entered anywhere she stood a chance Then one day, way down yonder In Shanklin, Isle of Wight, She became a big name over...

It's so hard to follow a dream Dreams are following me Hard on my heels they come Geronimo Captain Hook The almanacs The history books Encyclopaedias Beginnings and ends So many stories Have been put to the pen To explain or defend the right to be...

An old man lay dying beneath cold city skies An ominous look in his derelict eyes The moment of death for him had no sting His soul had the power to grant him one thing So he said "Let my dreams shine through, Let my dreams shine through." Innes Book o...

The early morning train Takes me back again Though I do not know your name You're by my side Oooh I love you I cry from deep inside But love is what you hide On the early morning train I look out of the window I look down at my shoes At the man with...

There's a place I know Where people come and go It's neither here nor there It's anytime and anywhere East of the moon and west of the sun As far as the eye can see East of the moon and west of the sun I'll find you and you'll find me East of the moo...

I was sitting in my armchair, watching my TV Searching for something half-decent to see I settled on a Blockbuster Action Movie And in no time at all, the Hero was Me I was using Strong Language, chasing Bad Guys All Hell breaking loose, before my eyes...

Once I knew a love so true Every inch an artist An eye for detail, without equal And a face for trusting A country girl who knew the world But who's judgment was too reckless And when in turn she showed concern She wore it like a necklace So come on...

One Two One, two, three, four Five learned scholars were each paid a dollar to see if they could find out something new but they met with some resistance for accordin' to the distance they noticed things got smaller or they grew A ship far out at sea...

Fluff on the needle Fluff on the needle Took my baby home last night, turned the lights down low Put my most romantic album on the stereo I moved a little closer sayin' "honey dig this sound" But she just grabbed her coat and hat and said "See you aroun...

I throw house bricks for The Arsenal I chuck lead pipe for West Ham I kick and maim for Chelsea I kill for Tottenham I drop bottles for United on the crowd from up above Yes football is the game that we all love I razor slash for Sheffield I cut...

Ever since I was knee-high to a bandy dragonfly I've been asking questions, "Why?" For the benefit of mankind (For the benefit of mankind) I compared the monkey's tail to the flipper of the whale and the Buddhist's fingernail For the benefit of mankind...

I didn't want no trouble I was runnin' from the mob When the circus came to town I went lookin' for a job But the circus couldn't use me So I turned about to leave When a gypsy fortune teller Grabbed me by the sleeve She took me to her wagon Where I f...

It's so far out It's outta sight No heavy scene No gettin' uptight So, just stay loose, my brother I'll tell you where it's at You can all get it on at the local laundromat, yeah! Front Loader, let me turn you on Front Loader, you and me just havin' f...

I hated my first cigarette I ask you how dumb can you get I thought I was so nonchalant But now it's the last thing I want I'm chewing my nails I'm having all kinds of withdrawral symptoms If only I'd never begun Why wasn't I told when I was young Gi...

I stepped into a bar for a drink or two I was feeling lonely, and as the feeling grew, I ordered same again, until I heard nature call and through a door marked Men I found written on the wall; GOD IS LOVE Next to a naked lady and some parts of a man was...

A million miles from the old routine A midnight candle burned I believe in believing I'm deeply concerned Walking down the runway Through the pouring rain Stretching out my arms like A supersonic pla-y-yane Godfrey Daniel He ain't done nothing wrong...

Blue reptile sleeping in cottonwool clouds Trample the cities and trample the crowds Red mammals wriggle in cosmetic mud People who smell of the smoke and the blood From the throats of the cities that burn We are awaiting Godzilla's return Disciples...

Once upon a good time there lived a love so true In the kingdom of happiness in a castle made for two Where dreams come true dreams come true And I know they do Every time I look at you Love is a happy ending Love is a happy ending From now on and e...

Our noses may be big, and stick out very far But who gives a fig? We're happy the way we are Our hooters may be vast So what? Hip, hip, hoorah! At long, long last We're happy the way we are Happy the way we are Happy the way we are Tra la lala We'r...

We've been through this movie before I know it inside out From the closeups at the start To the final helicopter shot 'copter shot 'copter shot 'copter shot Aah-yah here we go again my love aah-yaah, here we go again my love We used to queue up in...

How sweet to be an Idiot, As harmless as a cloud, Too small to hide the sun Almost poking fun, At the warm but insecure untidy crowd. How sweet to be an idiot, And dip my brain in joy, Children laughing at my back, With no fear of attack, As m...

One man in his car drivin' to the city One man in his car drivin' to the city See him go from place to place Taking part in the whole human race One man in his car power at his feet One man in his car up and down the street See him go from place to plac...

Hi there! Some people say it with flowers, Some people say it at Lloyds, But you don't find many tryin' to say it with humanoids Well, the Humanoid Boogie's got the humanoid hip-types Jumpin' and-a jivin' Burnin' out their energy cells like an infrared...

Hush, hush, half the world is sleeping Half the world away People are in bed Hush, hush, half the world is sleeping Think of all the people With dreams inside their heads No one knows how long a dream is meant to last Are they dreaming of the future O...

I don't believe in Santa anymore He's never answered anything I've written Him and all his "have you been a good boy?" To me he's just a silly fat old git Now I don't believe in Santa anymore My trust in him was all a big mistake Whoever saw him climbin...

I give myself to you For I know I've so much to give Oh ho And when I'm feeling this way There's just one thing I gotta say Believe me darlin' Believe me I'm incredible Whenever life becomes inedible You know you can rely on me To provide an alterna...

I'm the urban spaceman baby, I've got speed I've got everything I need I'm the urban spaceman baby, I can fly I'm a supersonic guy I don't need pleasure I don't feel pain If you were to knock me down I'd just get up again I'm the urban spaceman babe a...

You can disagree with me and I'll agree with you Be just what you want to be I'll share your point of view You can demonstrate and shout and wheel the execution cart You can ask me anything but don't expect my answer to be smart Don't make me use my imagi...

Imitation song Imitation tune Imitation words Empty speech balloons Never ending news False economy Imitation life For you and me Poppycockeyed world We are family I'll make believe in you You make believe in me Imitation birds Imitation bees Im...

Immortal invisible God only wise Looks at the world with a capital I But I've been here since time began As sure as God is named by Man Oh, tell me what could be Holier than absurdity? Any ol' rich man, poor man, Beggar man, thief Seem to share the...

Its hard to make it when you're straight, It gets better,much better, The more you deviate! If you're remotely regal, Its absolutely legal! You can blame it on your mother, If you want to love a brother. Just find a special friend, And you'll get lu...

What's that you're playing? Oh, just a piano. I like you, you're kinda cute! Oh, I'm just an ordinary fellow. Me too. We were made for each other! Hang it off, why pretend? We're just the janitor's kids Playin' on the penthouse floor We know we should...

I'm just a jester, just a silly man I like to be as silly as I can I wear a funny hat as anyone can see But nobody laughs at me Nobody laughs Nobody laughs Nobody laughs at me I'm just a jester, just a fool at heart Jesting is my science, jesting is...

Take any page from a book Take a good look What do you see? Not just the words It's like a thousand little people Somebody help me with this story Why does it always end the same? Eveybody feeling sorry Everybody saying, "It's a shame." Neil in Book...

Boogie Woogie Mama dancin' to the beat Shakin' everything and lookin' so sweet I loosen up my collar I'm comin' to the boil You can call me Popeye, but she's no Olive Oil But all she said to me Was "If you like what you see... You gotta keep on rockin'...

I am keeping watch on you You are keeping watch on me I am keeping watch on you And you are keeping watch on me Let us keep on keeping watch Keeping watch on us Let us keep on keeping watch Keeping watch on us All together nowIamkeepingwatchonyou I...

Wheels rollin' along Wheels rollin' along Wheels rollin' along Wheels rollin' along Runaway lovers taking their chances Leaving their troubles behind Kenny and Liza laugh at each other Lovers are two of a kind Kenny and Liza going together Leaving t...

L'amour perdu to circumstances Et tout le monde et Tuesday too Avec le raison d'tre-mental Cynical comment allez-vous "Ello Sailor" mme choses you love me Et je t'adore et windows too Regardez-moi poor heart is aching Toujours l'amour et merci beaucoup 

Such a cold, cold morning The wind against my face No special feelings, Just a sleepless night to taste I never had so many memories to waste Oh oh, la vie en rose Such a girl can make you And then you wonder why, When in the morning You find a way to...

Oh, Lady Mine How you drive me out of your mind Oh, Lady Mine Tell me, where can I find you? All around your figure flows All around, your garden grows Lady Mine, Lady Mine Lady Mine, let me come again to you Lady Mine, let me come again to you Lady...

Now life can get you down And make you wear a frown When you're working your fingers to the bone So listen close to me; Here's my recipe It's easy, you can do it on your own Simply close your eyes Imagine paradise Now you can't go wrong As you sing th...

Oh boy, we're gonna have some fun tonight We're gonna have ourselves a ball We're gonna do things with our fingers We're gonna lean against a wall So let's go! So let's go! So let's go! Let's go crazy Oh boy we're gonna do the damnedest things We're...

Caramba, ay, ay, ay! The moon is bright above The stars are in the sky, The night was made for love Caramba, ay, ay, ay! Seorita por favor Take me in your arms and love me ever more Libido, libido, libido Boys and girls come out to play Libido, libid...

There's no song for the singer No words for the tune There's a mess in the message And a man on the moon There's no plan in the planet It's all gone berserk There's a milk bottle shortage And the traffic lights don't work Lie down and be counted Don...

We have no time for lover's games of hide-and-seek or cat-and-mouse I come home tired, you call me names, you work all week at keeping house I understand the drudgery of what you do, but don't you think The office is the same for me? You ask me to unblock...

Oh Mississippi Moon Shining like a spoon Over Pascagoula by the sea How wonderful you are Much nearer than a star But taller than a roof top or palm tree mmmmmmm And when I go out with my baby tonight We'll be dancing in your silvery light And everyt...

We expect no rain said the weatherman but it did I hope it don't fall on me I said but it did Now the sky looked blue and there's hardly a cloud in the sky And here I stand with a rainbow in each eye Momma Bee a friend to me, Momma Bee a friend to me Mom...

God's own country tall in the saddle on a billboard Cowboy smoking man-sized tipped cigarette Someone with a push chair by the launderette Early closing day And there's nowhere to go but the Montana Cafe Supermarket trolley by a keep-left sign On a traf...

The world has turned, the world has turned See everything is all around us Open your eyes, it is morning Morning has come to us all Open your eyes, it is morning The birds have long since started their song Open your eyes, it is morning Morning has com...

Here's to the happiest days of my life Spent in the arms of another man's wife My mother Oh mother, mother You're more than just the old man's little woman Mother, mother You're the one that I hold dear Who else could make your bed and tidy up your roo...

Hey Mister Eurovision song contest man Would you like to hear my song Boom boom boom Bing Bang Bong Inky Pinky Parlez-Vous Wunderbar, oo-la-la Ole! Bom ba-tom bom bom Bom ba-dam bom bom ba Bom ba-dum bom bom Bom ba-dam bom ba Bom ba-dum bom bom Bom...

I got nothing to sing about Nothing at all Tra la la la la la Wall to wall Shooby dooby, come what may I play it for you both night and day Time and motion Shifting sands Empty minds and busy hands You can find me anywhere The food of love is in the...

They say school days are the happiest of your life But I've never seen or been in so much strife The teacher's like a bear with three sore heads And if he had a gun we'd all be dead it's... My new school I got no friends at all in My new school Everyo...

Who am I Where am I going? They call me Nancy Is that my name? Nancy... Nancy ... What am I What am I doing? Nothing I fancy and that's for sure... I could be someone important You never know Maybe I am Already someone important Just being me...

We are not notorious We are not unknown Like birds of a feather We are not alone Not alone, not alone We are not alone We are not encouraged We are not deterred Like the voice of Maggie Thatcher We are not unheard Not unheard Not unheard We are no...

Time on my hands Troubles on my mind Feelin' low and one degree under Not gettin' any younger Living day to day Guess I'm doin' fine But I'm feelin' low and one degree under Not gettin' any younger Prices always goin' up Buildings comin' down Lots...

No this is not the first time Or the last time we shall meet It's hard to understand the circumstances And so easy to be indiscreet Of all the chances we are given Which one can we take? And after all the indecision Do we have a choice to make? Ahhhhh...

I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time I don't want no bad news messin' with my mind I don't want no smart ass media clown Wising me up and then dumbing me down I'm just one of those people who wanna feel good all the time I'm just...

Well her clothes left nothin' to the imagination Everything was in the right places; she was pure temptation I watched the way she fingered the stem of her champagne glass And with her long lashed eyes and ruby lips, I knew she was high class And all the...

Well, I'm a kid's boat stuck in the weeds I'm a stray dog nobody feeds I'm a surplus nobody needs Who am I foolin'? I'm a bigshot, I'm a millionaire I'm a genius, I got brains to spare I'm Napoleon, and there's a world out there I could be ruling Par...

Uhhh... uhhh... this next song is a protest song. I've suffered for my music, now it's your turn. All the prophets of doom can always find room In a world full of worry and fear Tip cigarettes and chemistry sets And rudolph the red-nosed reindeer So...

No one can see me or hear me I'm all alone in my room No one can touch me or hurt me As I prepare my balloon Naked and bare, realistic hair Taking great care I breathe in the air; (whooosssshhhhhh... wwhooosshhh...) Randy Raquel, I think you're swell,...

ooooo ooooo Rock of ages roll me over at this point in time All the troubles in the world are runnin' through my mind Ball of fire, wind and water bring me back to earth Birds and bees and dog-eat-dog and "get your money's worth" I'm still waiting I'm...

Three at a time, three at a time Troubles, they say Come three at a time Everyone knows 'bout the highs and the lows So, look on the bright side As the saying goes It's not the end, my friend When all is said and done Two at a time Two at a time I...

Cold stone finger bone Scrape the sky I'm in the middle of a city and I don't know why Gonna sail away You won't see me for the clouds In my heels The windows have curtains but your room is bare I'll be on my way but I don't know where Gonna sail away...

Two dodos stood back to back Refusing to say a word Having a lovers' quarrel Over something truly absurd "But you're the last of your species!" The other animals cried "Make up your differences, do Forget your foolish pride!" And say sorry again Say...

Queen Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth Silver Jubilee Queen Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth God save you and me Everybody's mad about ya Where would Britain be without ya? Everywhere you go, they shout, "Your Majesty, oh!" Sailin' in the yacht Britannia No where...

Singing a song is easy Watchin' the world go by If you were a song I'd sing you But you're more than meets my eye So lets sing a song together Just like holding hands Simple words and music We can all understand You can only love somebody As much as...

Stamp your feet and clap your hands (We are the slaves of freedom) Somewhere there's a promised land (We are the slaves of freedom) Where we can do what we like (We are the slaves of freedom) Where no one gets off their bike (We are the slaves of freed...

Do you remember when we used to sit and talk? (yeah yeah!) Sit and talk (yeah!) Kiss and talk And take a little walk (yeah yeah!) With the moon and stars above Shining down upon my love Do you recall, babe? We talked about someday Someday We're gonna...

I don't know what anybody's saying anymore Everybody's talking but I heard it all before I seen it in the papers and I watched it on t.v. Words are gonna beat the living daylights out of me There's something to be said for having something to say Each mo...

Love can make a castle From the sands of time A brown paper parcel Full of nursery rhymes Existential knick-knack's Sitting on a shelf Talking to a mirror Talking to himself Lots of little footprints Shaped like a silver spoon Running in and out of...

He rode his horse across the badlands He tipped his hat against the sun He drank his whiskey from the bottle He was the law and he wore a gun He wore a gun Yes he wore a gun He wore a gun actually this is Crystal Balls from RWT Like a gunman should Li...

The champagne was Canadian The hostess sang a song I contemplated suicide Then you came along! You're so spontaneous You hit the spot Nothing but everything Is all you've got You're so spontaneous You top the bill Your elegant savoir-fair Gives me...

We are free because we’re normal We are free without a doubt We are free to be informal And tell the man to leave it out Oi you! We are free because we’re normal Free to fall in love and such Any port in any storm'll Do us nicely thank you very much...

Zoom zoom zoom zoom Zoom zoom zoom zoom Zoom zoom zoom zoom Zoom zoom zoom zoom Boodle dum dee, boodle dum da Isn't it great being a star? Boodle dum dee, boodle dum da Isn't it great being a star? Well, I'm just the moon, and that's fine by me As l...

The sun is in the sky Another day is born The bird is on the wing The snail is on the thorn stealing time stealing time Stealing time takes a lifetime The sun is in the sky So near and yet so far Further down the road The thief is in your car stea...

I'm so stoned on rock So stoned on rock I dig it with my body and my soul I'm so stoned on rock So stoned on rock So stoned on rock and roll Well it's an even bet That the sun will set Before I get much older Though life is hard to take I won't qu...

Hi there My name is Solo Stoop Solo I do amazing things Right now I'd like to sing for you Stormy days (stormy days) Cloudy skies (cloudy skies) Wind and Rain (wind and rain) Got a watery eye (watery eye) Yellow leaves (yellow leaves) Fall from the...

Walkin' the street Hopin' to meet A real-life Satan's daughter Oh what I'd give for a chance to be with A queen of the red-light quarter "Open All Night", the sign was so bright I found myself steppin' inside "What'll it be" she said lookin' at me I sa...

Hello testing, one... Are we on? Are we on? bass plugged in? Okay... Hello testing (one two) Testing (ONE TWO) How do you do? Testing (one two) It's ONE derful TWO be here Testing one two, testing one two Two 

Hi hi hi, low low low Hey hey hey, quick quick slow Here's a brand new dance I'll tell you how it's done It's a little unusual And not much fun It's not like the bump It's not like the hustle And it'll never never never Be filmed by Ken Russell It's...

What do you see? What do you feel? What's going on, you look around, where are you now? Is this a dream Or is it real? Time seems to fly and yet be standing still somehow No one, no one knows the time No one, no one can be sure No one, no one in this...

We don't know what's going on We don't know how it works It's all the same to you and me That's how the pickle squirts 'Cause we're all having the time of our lives the time of our lives the time of our lives Yes we're all having the time of our lives...

One night I dreamed that I was dead A butterfly flew into my head "How do ya do" she said "I'm an angel" She said no more, she said no less I said "can you get me out of this mess If you can well then I guess you must be an angel" But then a worm crawl...

AND THE SKY STANDS TO ATTENTION WAITING FOR THE SIGN AND THE MOON CALLS TO HER WARRIORS AND THE WARRIORS FALL IN LINE AND THE SKY AND THE MOON AND THE WARRIORS MOVE SLOWLY INTO BATTLE 'TIS US YOU HEAR WHEN THE BREATHING FAILS AND THE HEART BEGINS TO RATTLE...

They came in countless numbers Without hope, without hopelessness On jelly limbs Faceless Crawling out of the living sea. The green world welcomed them It sweetened the air for them And above all, the sun warmed them And dried them By night, in...

Forgive me if I look a loser But do you think I choose the way I feel? Remember what you see Is just the part of me I can't conceal Remember me to all your friends outside the door Don't think that I don't know just what they're waiting for I'm a nervous...

The world is full of people with lots of things to say Some of them are false and some are true But there's something to be said for each and every one So here is my advice to you Think before you speak Just think before you speak A thoughtless stream o...

This love of ours is like playing card houses Not easy to rebuild, and sometimes unfulfilled So don't be uncertain, drawing the curtains On wide open windows whenever the wind blows Come rain or come shine, our love measures time . Love can surprise you...

Two armchairs and a sofa make our world complete We just bought a brand new three piece suite It matches the curtains and the walnut veneer The hire purchase will finish in a year Or two Aaaahhhhhh ah-ah-ah ahhhh Ah-ah-ah ahhhh ah-ahhhh Ah ah ah...

The sun is in the sky The stars still burn Beneath my feet the earth is newly-turned All the seeds are sown And when they're fully grown I shall sleep just like a stone in shallow water A little time to live Is such a lot of time to kill Keep on movin...

In the name of Jesus Christ Christmas time is here again Peace on Earth, goodwill to men In the name of Jesus Christ In the name of Jesus Christ Happy faces all aglow Paper chains and mistletoe In the name of Jesus Christ Oh, newborn King Your praise...

Slick Willie was a shoeshine boy Workin' downtown, 42nd Street He had a little racket dealin' out some packets That no one ever saw him eat Well Rita was a go-go dancer In a bar just across the street While Willie shined shoes Rita swung her boobs To a...

I was warping my way through the heavens From a party in Galaxy 3 The drinks were of cosmic proportions And I needed a double, you see So I stopped off behind a convenient moon And for what it is worth The story I'll tell of what befell me, when I got...

I am standing on a station platform enjoying the evening sun How it shines on the tracks and on the backs of other people waiting In my mind's eye I suddenly become one of the small summer birds that are dipping and swooping so freely under the evenin...

Aaaheeaaaheeaaah......SHEEEIIITT!!! (yeah yeah!) (yeah yeah!) (yeah yeah!) Apeman king of jungle Apeman have no fear Cold! Apeman tell life story Apeman bend your ear aaaheeaaaheeaaah, Ungawa (yeah yeah!) Apeman grow ape child Apeman soon teenager...

I had time to myself Willingly I'd share it If only I could spare it We're going to bring it on home We're going to bring it on home We're going to bring it on home We're going to bring it on home We're going to bring it on home Bring it, sing it, bri...

What noise annoys a noisy oyster? What noise annoys a noisy oyster? What noise annoys a noisy oyster? (A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster!) How, when, why? Who, what, where? I don't know and I don't care! What noise annoys a noisy oyster? What noise...

It's 'Man Bites Dog' in the papers again Oh ho look at the news can anybody here tell me what's going on? 'Soccer Yob Crushed In Flab Queen's Sex Den' Oh ho look at the news can anybody here tell me what's going on? Who do these people think they are?...

The outlook for today is mainly tragic, Cloudy, dull, occasional rain and scattered magic, But unlike those who say They prefer the good old days, I hardly ever feel nostalgic. And although the intellectually agile, Can logically prove the heart is fragi...