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Macc Lads

Utwory wykonawcy:

All Day Drinkin'

Staggered in MacDonalds on a Friday afternoon, All the pubs were shut, There were knob all else fer do. I said, "Gissus a Big Mac now you spotty little twat." He said, "Have a nice day sir, would you like a paper hat?" I said, "Have a nice day bollocks,...

Alton Towers

F**king right. Bank holiday Monday, By Sunday I was.... So let's f**k off to Alton Towers. One or two, quite a few in the queue for the bumper cars. Fit crack on the lake but her mate's got a flabby arse. So let's hit the bars.... Where's the f**king pu...

Ben Nevis

He squidges in the van, All twenty four stones, He gets three kebabs and he eats them on his own, Quick trouser cough Nevis touches cloth, F**k f**k hide behind a truck, all the windows are steaming up. Gas gas quick lads, The air in here is turning brow...

Blackpool

One day after closing I was lying on me nest,When Stez shouts "get yer bags on, come on outside."So I grabbed me stripy tank-top, I 'ad beer stains on me vest,An' I said "best get some cans in, it's a long ride."Well, we drove along the M6, chuckin' cans at ot...

Bloik!

Yaaaaaaaaaw! Dick Head was a pratt, he drove a Skoda with extra lamps on, Always dickin' prattin', Looked like a reuseable tampon. Tried to chat the birds up, He'd always end up bleedin', It's tough when you come from Bollington, It's all the interbreed...

Boddies

Well you ain't been goin' down the pub, You ain't been playing darts, You ain't been doin' what you should, You've been hangin' out with yer tart. You've got fer get some Boddies down thee, You know where it's at, You've got to get some ale inside thee,...

Buenos Aries

Get at 'em. There was a load bloody faries, In Buenos bloody Aries, With greasy hair and sweaty bums, They'd never heard of Bonningtons, It were a different culture and a different race, No chippies in bloody place. You can keep that poof Fartiles, 'Co...

Charlotte

I walked into the Nag's Head for to sustinate me belly, There was a fit crack in the corner but I knew her cunt was smelly, She smelt of rotting fish heads and old and crispy sick, Said her name was Charlotte and she wanted suck me dick. Oh, I thought now...

Dan's Underpant

We all went down New Delih, We had too much curry and aching bellies. Peter got gut rot and puked on the floor, Stez Styx banging on shithouse door. I says, come on lads and finish your Bombay duck, We're going to find some girls who'll give us a decent A...

Dead Cat

A ya ya ya ya ya yaaar... No petrol in the van, Knee deep in empty cans, We've lost the map, the tyre's flat, the bloody kid's been banned, We stopped off for some grease, Nevis is obese, We left him standing empty handed, Ten miles outside Leeds. Oh no...

Failure With Girls

I've got an ugly face, With spots all over the place, I haven't got any mates, And me clothes have gone out of date. I go to the pub on me own, And I drink me orange alone, I sit and stare at the crack, But they just turn their backs. I want to chat th...

Fluffy Pup

Well, I spent last night trying to chuck me bird, She were clinging to me leg like an old sick turd, I said your tits are too small and your legs are too short, I want a fit bird from the Sunday Sport, I can't hear me records when you sit on me face, And...

Geordie Girl

New face in the pub on a Friday night. "You alright?" I asked where she worked, she said, "Iawok dahn sayan" She were feeling "kanna closhy" She were of t'"Neddie" I think she must have meant the bog. Do you want a drink love? She says "Aye rhebob, Hey...

Get Weavin'

Get weavin'. Well the fair comes down just once every year, The Macc Lads go there when they've supped their beer, So get weavin', With the Brut 33, And forget your tea, We're going down town to get some chips and pies, And I'll bet you ten pints I'll g...

Gordon's Revenge

Ah so. The ducks are sitting and I making my list now, Macc Lads stagger in and their all f**king pissed, The f**king drunk bastards can't take their beer, Free gravy tonight, I've got bad diarrhoea. Sea food special with extra crab, Two pancake with a p...

Lady Muck

Well I want to sing a song about Lady Muck yoooh, Well, it weren't her real name, but it rhymed with f**k. An' I'm gonna nacc me voice doin' this for too long, Come on Fast Fret, let's get on with the song. She was sitting at a table shouting "Waiter where...

Lucy Lastic

Well, in this life there's a couple of certs, One is death and the other's a nurse, Well Lucy's old and they say she's passed it, But I gave her one and her tits were that big, And they said bollocks and they're made of plastic, And that I never touched h...

Miss Macclesfield

She was the perfect woman, She was my kind of a bird, 'Cos she stayed in the kitchen and she never said a word. She had real big tits and a lovely slappable arse, But now she's into barbeques and wine bars. Oh, I used to go out with her 'cos she cooked me...

My Pub

I've been going t'same pub fer twenty year, It were half a crown then fer buy me beer, But they closed it down fer redecorate, They said we'll knock a wall down, Change bar round, Paint door brown, It's going to look great. When I walked into it I could...

Nagasaki Sauce

Well the weekend is coming and it's time for a bath, We're going to sup some Boddies and we'll have a good laugh, So leave the dog at home or it'll want some drinks. Go to Dag's, get some fags, pull a couple of slags. Give the dog a bone and leave it chain...