Les Claypool

When Amanitas came, he could not obstain And he took a juicy bite. He felt that he could see, the forest beyond the trees, and she squeezed his head real tight. He knew he'd changed his luck, paid a buck for cord and cluck, but somethin just wasn't right. S...

[chorus] Back off Turkey, I think I'm comin' around again, I think comin around again, I'm comin around comin again.[] I'm comin around with vengeance on my chin I'm comin around with bristles on my hide I'm brown with hair dyed, n eyes wide I'm comin arou...

Does anybody here remember Barrington Hall? Does anybody here remember Barrington? They're happy in the night And lethargic in the day The people that live in Barrington Hall It gave him quite the fright When wrine ferret came his way And he nearly...

Some say life's like an apple I prefer to think of it as pie I knew a boy who took a bite out of life He took a bite out of life I knew a boy who took a bite out of life He took a big ol' juicy bite out of life I have known a thing or two about Love a...

(Chorus) Stomp, Stomp the Booneville Stomp The Ba-Ba-Ba-Booneville Stomp Monty worked for the forestry But he couldn't make ends meet Monty went to the hydro store Soon he became part of the town elite Hobnobbin' with the town elite (Chorus) Saddie...

Johnny come lately All through the county They come from the city Out here to Green Hill Drivin' like bastards Stompin' the throttle The buzzards of Green Hill Grow fat on road kill Awwww Little Fuzzy Wuzzy was a baby bear Little Fuzzy Wuzzy didn't...

His momma used to dance at the Broadway Shows Broadway, where the young men go to drop The coins in one two three He remembered walking in Not knowing applesauce from sin And uncles trotted one two three Calling Kyle His pop was met at the Ballpark...

Mr. Hamster and Hot Potato Man Turns the city on its ear. Mr. Hamster takes Hot Potato Man By the arm, Bombay Sapphire in his hand And Cohibas... Esplenditos. Saw Mr. Potato Man the other day Down at the Wasteland. He's a happy boy, full of vim and v...

On the cosmic highway to the moon We're on the cosmic highway to the moon The bays are loaded and the engine's well in tune Dad says at this rate We should get there half past June The earth is rather dreary Since we singed the sky On the cosmic high...

[Chorus] Who wants to go to D's Diner? (I do) Who wants to go down to D's? (me) There's a place just off the GRavenstein Where the milkshakes flow like wine The best damn breakfast Burrito You can get anywhere anytime When I think of them fried egg s...

I'm David Makalaster Your ten o'clock newscaster And the shit has Just hit the fan I'm David Makalaster Your ten o'clock newscaster There's a scrouge Trampin' cross our land The film I'm about to show you Will fill and overflow you With a rage that...

Now, because you own , you possess You have something that they can take You remember how it was when you had nothing You looked at the ones who had what you wanted And you felt strong in your need Brave in your limited surroundings Righteous in your des...

They used to call him nigger boy When he was but a tike So he grew up to be An angry young man They said: "Run now nigger boy!" At football games in highschool He grew up to be An angry young man If they'd called him a brother Or a neighbor or a cou...

You gotta be crazy, you gotta have a real need You gotta sleep on your toes, and when you're on the street You gotta be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed And then moving in silently, down wind and out of sight You gotta strike when the m...

Brimming with all the hopes and desires of American Youth, he set forth as a leader of sorts. Just what Sorts it is impossible to say at this time. But he had The imaginary support he needed to venture beyond The small environment he'd come to know as...

All the time talking 'bout the inspiration Best leave off about the rhyme Along comes a boy He's filled with adulation Speculates if now is not the time She was known to take a drop or two In the morning Yesterdays and lazy days the same Will collagen...

Les: I'm going down to South Park, Gonna have myself a time. Stan/Kyle together: Friendly faces everywhere, Humble folks without temptations. Les: Going down to South Park, Gonna leave my woes behind. Cartman: Ample parking day or night, People shou...

Content to stand alone Waiting, watching, guarding Granny's home His face reflecting simple joy But he is not a happy Plaster boy "Careful sonny, not too close Unless you want a lethal dose Of hardening..." Patiently waiting for some shade Wishing he...

Lonely, homely boy they called him Lucy Mama's little man And she calls him Hendershot His mama called him Hendershot Be seen and not be heard, they told him He grew into a big man they call Hendershot They always call him Hendershot Walking down the...

He came to conquer what he could But he held back 'Cause his tongue was tied by shy. So he laid the money down and he drank up Put the sparkle in his eye Sittin down you saw his paunch So he stood up And he gazed across the room The toxin squeezed the...

Pick a name, pick a place Chances are I've had the means to be there. Pick a date, pick a time, I've got it from a friend of mine The ability to socialize. Holy Mackerel Once when I was young, I troubled over imperfection in my knees. When you cultiv...

I got me an Iowan gal You should see my Iowan Gal. I got me an Iowan gal. You may try to win her, but you never will pal, my purebred, cornfed Iowan gal. I got me an Iowan gal. She's pretty as a picture, happy as a clam , pinch me and tell me how lucky...

Have you met Kazoo She's a beautiful girl She came from the depths of the greasy underbelly Of this big brown world Have you met Kazoo She's a dainty little thing Give her liver crackers and a rub on the belly And her heart will sing 'Cause Kazoo's g...

Propped up, dropped out, rest up right Probably shouldn't try and leave town tonight I've got a dollar bill, you've got a fire It's damn good to be alive Look up, look out, look in and see I do believe there's somebody eyeballin' me If I move to the l...

Long in the tooth Long in the tooth I'm lookin' round the corner And I'm long in the tooth Waiter, hey check please In the corner booth I'm feelin' rather long in the tooth Time is a loser, boozer, schnoozer He carried up and married up A midwest h...

You may see horses try to fly A dog with periwinkle eyes But peppered earth with chucks of sky Now there's a sight we're seeing When sot gets moist with dewy flow The fungus spores they start to show And if you're sharp and in the dough You may spy a d...

The bowels gurgle a bit more these days it seems And he thinks more about the way he saunters 'round The posture of his father is not his chosen destination But though his head remains in the same proximity His chin with creeping dangle moves closer to the...

Old Silk Johnson, cruisin' up mighty fine Got a brand new Cadillac Buddy comrade Smith, rollin' down the line Got a last year's Cadillac Johnson said "Hey, smitty boy, what ya thinkin' of my spankin' hot Cadillac?" Smith just reeled his head back, looked...

Intro The Phantom Patriot (Repeat) Verse 1 Creeping ever creepy Like a fox in the night Turning wrongs into right He boldly works alone With a crossbow on his shoulder And a saber at his side His brand is guns and knives His mask is white as bone....

If you didn't care what happened to me And I Didn't care for you We would zig zag our way Through the boredom and pain occasionally glancing Up through the rain Wondering which of the buggers To blame And watching for pigs on the wing 

There are stories of pleasure, there are stories of pain But the gods torment me with slabs of rain It started on a Thursday and went a double fortnight And Junior read Stern by the pilot light He ate more cheese than time allowed So we stood him up shar...

Damn that's some shitty wine It tastes like buttery beaver brine But if you fill my glass another time I'm sure it'll begin to taste just fine I'm sure it'll taste just fine Damn that's some chewy beef Gristled gum beyond belief But roll around another...

A purple onion... Purple Onion... Purple onion everybody laugh now Purple onion everybody cry Purple onion lookin' down at B.O.B. When he crashed his motorcycle and he died Old Bob Zimmerman knew the purple onion Purple onion gave ol' Bob five Purple...

Rancor, rancor Wake her up and thank her Where's Billy Bob? GEne, weigh the anchor Rancor, rancor You really oughtn't spank her Oh olalaberry Rancor, rancor Flarin' up my canker Isabella Dzermann grew up to be a banker Rancor, rancor The parasite w...

She got dirt up under her fingernails She got lint down between her toes She got paint above her eyeballs and Powder on and up in her nose She got tits made out of recycled bottles Her hair flipped up in a twirl She wants to grow up to be Sarah Palin Sh...

Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air You better watch out There may be dogs about I've looked over Jordan and I have seen Things are not what they seem What do you get for pretending the dange...

The jones comes in late at night It huts with a terrible bite They don't come knockin' on my door Or slink across the greasy floor CHORUS: I'm up on the roof again Watchin' the sparklers dance and play Up on the roof again Please don't take my ladder...

Vernon was a company man He kept his hair trimmed short And his sideburns shaved He was a Brill cream man He liked Swiss and ham He drank beer out of can On Saturdays He was a company man Vernon was a company man His hat glommed on to his head Like a...

Who's gonna do what Simon say? I'm gonna do what Simon says I'm gonna do what Simon says I'm gonna do what Simon says Of course we should what Simon says I'm gonna do what Simon says I'm gonna do what Simon says I'm gonna do what Simon says Of course...

I can see my fantasy I'm so consumed in bed What I see takes over me I'm blind beyond my peril It takes a hold of me so tight a grip that does not give And when she's done she throws me out like a dog left in a cell Yeah I want to have the right I want to...

Now Errol's a smart boy who delivered big weed Says he can get you all that you'll ever need He got careless and filled his face with greed 20 pounds past the limit 20 miles over the speed Now Errol is said he was the jack of all trades He'll walk down u...