Galavant

Isabella: It's a dark season And it's been all along A grim season There's no point in pretending Gareth: For some reason we're still singing the song Madalena: But this time with a d’doozy of an ending Gareth: What just happened? Madalena: What?...

Xanax: Close your eyes. Open your mind. Your journey's about to begin. Relax your karma. And try not to barf. As the universe starts to spin. Hocus Pocus. Expialidocious. Set your aura free. Petrificus Totalus. Drink deeply from the chalice. Tell us...

Gareth & Valencian Army: It's a good day to die, To stand and fight until we're dead! A good to die, Though if somebody ever said for what, we forgot So on reflection, perhaps, maybe not Isabella: Who is that? It looks like they're advancing on the V...

Galavant: It’s a good day to die King of Valencia: We won’t, there’s one more episode Galavant: But still... we could die Gareth: We all know that’s a massive load of— Galavant: Right Still... we might Isabella: And if we did, We will never live ever a...

Gwynne: When rich folks war, who dies? Chef: The poor Gwynne: On that you can depend So obviously for you and me There's only one way this can end Let's see: appetizers, salads...aha! Let's spike the soup with some arsenic Chef: What? Gwynne: Just a fe...

Galavant: Way back in days of old, There was a legend told— King Richard: Oh, do it for real. Galavant: About a hero known as Gala— Pirate King: Sorry to interrupt, it’s a very catchy tune and all that— Pirate Jack: Yeah, it’s a real earworm. Pirate...

Galavant: I’m finished with adventure Tired of my sword Those songs about my exploits Leave me kinda bored At last, I’ve seen the sunset I’ve been riding toward— A real-life happily ever after Isabella: I’m done with all the intrigue Sick of kicking a...

Chef: We got a snazzy, new room With two whole benches It's practically rodent-free We got expensive perfume For all our stenches As swellegant as can be And with these pointy, new shoes To walk through mud in Fancy silk squares to cough up blood...

Peasant John: We've been trying something new in the dominion Since you went away- With no king upon the throne, We've all been left alone To build a new tomorrow here today What if every single soul with an opinion Got to have their say? If on eve...

Jubilee: I like to... eat meat, swill booze Wake up with brand new tattoos I like to... talk loud, play rough I ain't got time for that girly girl stuff I'm a different kind of princess, can't you see? I don't lift my pinkie when I'm sipping tea I'm a d...

Wormwood: When you need a lift, When you’re feeling low, When you wish that things could go your way, There’s a little gift Everyone should know Try it, and it’s sure to make your day! It’s called D’Dew, D’Dew, D’Dew! Doo d’doo doo doo! It’s the kind...

Andre: *Starts whistling* King Richard: *Starts snapping* Let's go and pop a few giants Dwarf #1: Kick some gargantuan butt Dwarf #2: Hack out those huge knobby kneecaps King Richard & Dwarves: And make them keep their big mouths shut! Someone Has...

Richard: What's that? You want to hear how we spent our evening? Sid: No, he really doesn't. Galavant: No, I don't. Richard: We went to the lake Roberta: Things got kind of snuggly Richard: She led me behind a tree Roberta: He began to shake Richar...

The plot is gaining steam So back to this old theme Here's what's been happening on Galavant! When we saw Izzy last This guy had been outcast He vowed revenge and fled to Madalena He brought to her parlais The Dark Dark Evil Way Gareth's against it, b...

Death: Goodbye Yes, it's time to say goodbye Sad, I know, but, hey, you're done with living It's time to give in And go and so, goodbye Funny how the time did fly Really, it's a crime You're heading for forever To the great big whatever In the...

Lay by my side, and we'll sail away Off to the shores of another day All set to go once I hear you say Goodnight my friend, until the morning Up we will float as we close our eyes Stars all around us like fireflies Just me and you drifting through the s...

Kid #1: I was starving in the poorhouse Where they fed us twice a year And they tossed me out the day I asked for more King Richard: Aw. Kid #1: And your dad brought me to your house And he gave me bread and beer Also everything you left here in your...

Arnold: I went mucking all about On endless quests and empty wars And adventures in a hundred forts of call And yet somehow I missed out on one adventure... Mine and yours And it should have been the greatest one of all But there's something you should...

Galavant: I'm off on a hero's journey Out where adventure lies On a quest the poets will sing about Isabella: With destiny at your shoulder Sid: An ego of massive size Galavant: And a face most chicks have a thing about Isabella: And so what if you're s...

Monk 1: Bum ba-dum, bum bum. Monk 2: Welcome to our abbey The best in the domain. The order of our father Of perpetual refrain. And we're the monks. Monks: Hey, hey, we're the monks! (Galavant: Backstory please? Isabella: Valencian monks all take a...

Jester: Yes! Catfight! Gareth: Finally. I've been waiting two seasons for this. Madalena: I don't like you Isabella: I really don't like you Madalena: I really Isabella: Really Madalena: Really Isabella: Really Madalena + Isabella: Want you gone This...

Galavant: Madalena, I've got something to say, and I've come a really...really long way to say it. Madalena: Oh no... Galavant: I want you, I need you You cut me, and I bleed you You're like some kind of sonnet All I want to do is read you And I love yo...

Chef: If I could share my life with you Just think how happy we'd be We'd share our hovel built for two Complete with vermin for three We could while away each hopeless day Comparing open sores Yes, life would blow But much less, though If I could sh...

King Richard: If I were a jolly blacksmith What a happy guy I'd be I would do all kinds of blacksmith stuff In my blacksmithery I would hit the thing with the other thing 'Till I made a different thing! If I were a jolly blacksmith! No, I'm not feeli...

Isabella: Where is the gallant knight? Who stood for truth and right? The valiant dragon slayer, Galavant Where is his steely gaze? The abs the poets praise? Whatever happened to that Galavant? Galavant: The man you're searching for Lost all he loved a...

Squire #1: Your average knight in armor He's utterly the pits Squire #2: His ego's so humongous That his 'elmet barely fits Squire #1: He wears two tons of padding And thinks 'e's quite the man Squire #3: He's nothing but a jackass In a fancy metal can!...

Gareth: I like living plainly Chains and leather, mainly Madalena: I prefer a lavish suite Sid: Go on Madalena: I like eating lightly Vegan dinners nightly Gareth: I like meat with extra meat Sid: You're not even trying Madalena: I'm deluxe to my...

Pirates: We're cruel and vicious pirate men As hard and tough as brass By far, the fearsomest buccaneers To ever walk on grass Pirate #1: We pillage here Pirate #2: And plunder there Pirate #3: We rage from dusk till dawn Pirates: We hoist the anchor a...

Galavant: Love is strange Isabella: And sometimes kind of gross It's embarrassingly gassy And it leaves its dirty underwear In piles around the place Love is rude, it has a sort of smell And it thinks that you don't notice And it blurts out things That...

The skyball's doing its shine-thing The moving air is so sweet This flopsy colorful vine-thing Smells as pretty as meat And those wingy-beasts with their feathers They make a squeaky-like sound And I'd never have guessed what I'm trying to say Frankly...

King Richard: You're frigid and demanding I shudder at your call Madalena: Whenever you come near me My flesh begins to crawl King Richard and Madalena: But sometimes there are moments I'm not repelled at all Maybe you're not the worst thing ever Isabe...

King Richard: Hey little fella, I know just what you're thinking Nobody gets you, or sees what you could be Chorus: Ahh ahh ahh ahh King Richard: But pluck up your courage and turn that frown up Chorus: Da da King Richard: Soon we will eat this entire tow...

King Richard: Hey little buddy, you know what I believe in? Galavant: I think we're gonna pull through King Richard: Me too! Roberta: Me three Madalena & Gareth: Yes, I believe something might just have started... Sid: And I believe I'll be joining t...

Madalena: My husband's a wimp His henchman are simply useless The servants and staff are inbreeds and half-wits too Oh god, how I need someone here Willing to get things done here Someone who shares my point of view But who? (Suddenly Madalena's reflec...

Subject 1: The Queen's gonna want to take a look at this one. The Queen: I do King Richard: Oh no... The Queen: You trespassed upon my kingdom Now you are in my sway Which basic'ly means as the Queen of all Queens I'm going to make you pay Subject 1:...

Sid's Dad: Everyone, come see my son, the knight! Sid's Mom and Dad: Oy, what a knight! Sid's Dad: Gather 'round you peasants! Sid's Mom: Look who's graced us with his presence! Male Peasant #1: What a hero! Female Peasant #1: What a mensch! All: Oy, wh...

Confessional Monk: Do you, your Highness, take this male model to be your wedded- Isabella: I do. Confessional Monk: Do you, good sir, take your social superior to be your wedded- Galavant: Yes, I do. Confessional Monk: For richer, for poorer, In sickne...

Galavant&Richard: OH! We're off on a secret mission We got us a secret plan Galavant: We're going to go and slay your bro Richard: As quietly as we can Galavant and Richard: We'll sneak up and then surprise him Before he has time to think Richard:...

Galavant: Lutes. Viols. Irritating little crumhorns. Gaze at the person across from you now Feel the sweet spark of connection If you don't screw up this moment somehow Maybe you won't die alone Don't be too needy or bring up your ex Don't say the word...

King Richard: Oh, Gareth, I try so hard to please her. I invade a kingdom for a jewel, I respect her vow of chastity, and yet, every day I have to hear it over and over again. Galavant Galavant Blah blah blah blah Galavant I want her, need her, crave her,...

Good dreams only Good dreams only Bad dreams out of his head It's time tonight For dreams of fright To leave this little boy's bed 

There comes a time in every tale When the hero must prevail Gonna be an epic fail Unless you show some pluck Once the training sequence starts You gotta grow some manly parts I'm talking big ones-off the charts! Or else the plot will suck! So stand up...

Isabella: Mother, I may have agreed to get married, but I'm not going to be happy about it. Wormwood: Oh, but, my dear, I have so much planned for you. Trust me, this is going to be fun. First, we get to choose invitations Make a list of distant relations...

Neo of Sporin: Time is of the essence So I need your acquiescence If we're going to save this fellow from the grave Galavant: What? Neo of Sporin: Let me finish Time is of the essence we have minutes Maybe less, since as you see There's not much left...

Sid: I say we storm the castle and take back what's rightfully ours. Who's with me?! Peasants of Valencia: Yeah! Sid & Peasants of Valencia: We will march and we'll fight For the cause of good and right Sid: Though the odds of us surviving Are ridicul...

Galavant: We eat together. Isabella: We drink together. Sid: We work in perfect sync together. Galavant: We smile... Isabella: Frown... Sid: Blink... All: Together completely. We walk together, In time together. Galavant: Can't help. Isabella: Yelp...

Pirates: We heave together, We ho together, All working toe to toe together. Pirate #1: Ahoy! Look out below together! Pirate King: Run away! Run away! Pirates: Now off together, We'll cruise together. With pirate stuff we'll use together. Pirate #1:...

What am I feeling? Is it a feeling? Could I be feeling somehow? All of this time I never truly had one Why would I be starting now? If it's a feeling Truly a feeling Why is it hurting me so? Could it be my first one is a bad one? How am I supposed to...

Young Richard: Will my day ever come? Will my moment arrive? Will I ever be more Then just some poor, fat loser? Do I ever become the hero? Will I wed the girl I love? Am I going to get to touch her boobs? King Richard: I’m not telling you, you’re a ch...

Isabella: It was the world's best kiss And it was utter bliss Though it was moister than I thought it would be Galavant: It was the world's best kiss Save for the awkwardness And how we fit...which I admit...felt sort of weird to me Both: And in my dre...

How could I ever think he'd love me? All that waiting All for nothing He wasn't ever thinking of me And we were never meant to be We had a single kiss No need to reminisce And now it's gone, fading away Over and yet If not the worlds best ki...