Footprints in the Custard

We’ve come to all or nothing let’s try this out A red ocean cascades into the mouth Scrape the pieces from my eyes but the blood just comes to nothing Next to the big surprise Blob bunnies flying out of your minge We’re going down on a blob bunny binge One mi...

Before I say I love you there's something I must know, What is that rancid stench that wafts from down below Like plastic on the griddle and eggs left far too long, My darling I must say your cunt smells fucking wrong Put it back lock it away, It's like a pet...

Up and down, bounce all around Having lots of fun on a bouncy castle Jumping around, upside down Don't fall over, do a flip Bounce really high, reach for the sky I'm so happy, bouncing with you The sun is out, the birds are singing Bouncing together, let's do...

Get the drinks in, get your clothes off Tonight we’re playing a game Deal the cards out, spin the bottle Tonight I have no shame Just when it seemed to be going my way It started to look like a bad choice to play Close enough to clunge To wash the pain away...

I need to express My greatest need All I desire Is to release My need to wee Oh, I feel so strongly about this wee It’s everything that makes me be If I did not need this piss Think of all those things I’d miss This dripping water in my mind Makes my despera...

I had been out drinking myself half to death My vision was blurred my motor skills had left That’s when I saw her; an angel bathed in divine light I took her home where she showed me one hell of a night But now it seems that three days later something just ai...

Everything I Want in a Girl... Me... 

F in the C in the motherfuckin’ house Wave your shit in the airand shout this fuckin’ out! The Footprints are back and they’re stomped in deep And what they’re gonna do is knock you off your feet! All you motherfuckers better prepare Scream ‘til you bleed, pum...

It all started long ago I was happy then, I know There were just the little things Until the hunger spread its wings The diameter increase Just seemed never to then cease And say that the worst has passed But my fears are getting vast Why won’t this all just...

Chilling out in the hotel room Rocking some wood not got much to do Feeling kinky – fetch the rope Give Hittori Hanzo a stroke Remember the scouts? Tie some knots Let’s give something new a shot Round my neck so nice and tight Squirt my semen in delight Lock...

Met a girl at a local bar told her I was a big rock star Sweet tattoos and long dark hair I wanted in to her underwear Line them up, knock them back damn this girl is great But I didn’t know, when in the sack what she’d initiate In the heat of the moment you...

She used to be such a sweet, sweet girl But on that night she shattered my entire world In the blink of an eye her innocence was gone I never knew that this girl could be so wrong She said It’ll be fine as long as it goes over my face It’ll be fine as long as...

I’ve got a secret no one should know That reveals itself every time I get a blow As if out of nowhere straight to the face JizzBolt Knocked to the ground, blinded by the light Fury of the Gods, blistering and bright The salty pent-up rage bears down upon As t...

Lost in a world brought down to its knees Caught in a typhoon of semen and knob cheese Forced to set sail in a world swept away Doused in creamy peril since that fateful day I mourn for those lost in this man juice holocaust Oh this love custard Drenched fro...

Highgarden girls, show us your bush Is it stripped clean, is the foliage lush River run girls, fish on your breath Open your legs, your flaps reek of death Iron born girls, we don’t sow But I’ll stick it somewhere your daddy won’t know Redkeep girls, queen or...

Deep in my heart, deep in my soul There’s something missing, I'm not whole There is something I don’t have Nothing for you to grasp All my nights I can’t sleep Knowing I am incomplete I have nothing left to lose Nothing for your hands to use I know I can neve...

Deep in my heart, deep in my soul There’s something missing, I’m not whole There is something I don’t have Nothing for you to grasp All my nights I can’t sleep Knowing I am incomplete I have nothing left to lose Nothing for your hands to use I know I can neve...

In the distant future of the year 1945, a portal of purple light opens in the sky King Authur has sent Merlin through time to destroy a tyrant that threatens our very way of life Join us on a tale of love and vengeance, where nothing is what it seems Merlin mu...

Hey, where have I seen you before? You're that internet cam whore! The other day when I was surfing the net Saw some pics of you getting wet. Seen your minge! (I've seen your) Seen your minge! (I've seen your) Seen your minge! (I've seen your) Minge On The In...

Turn up the sound, turn up the bass Let’s get smashed and off our faces Let’s get this party started Blast out metal and down some shots Eye up someone you want to fuck And we’ll get fucking wasted I know there’s no better feeling And I doubt you’ll disagree...

These days it seems way too hard to introduce yourself There is no way if you don’t have money, looks and wealth A drug of love seems to be my best friend Tease all you want I’ll get you in the end Rohypnol Romance It’s the only way to go Rohypnol Romance Th...

Whoa mate I’m gonna stab ya Whoa mate I’m gonna break your legs I go to the park after dark And I’ll stab ya with my knife Then I go home and smoke some weed Then I’ll go screw ya wife I go outside in my bling bling Whoa mate I’m the real thing And with my p...

Brown empties from my soul To be sucked through this blackened hole Eternity breathes a sigh of relief An ecstasy at the end of grief The room is enchanted with this blissful smell Just sigh and give it hell Strain Strain your heart out Pain In pain you cry...

Swallow or it's going in your eye Stings so bad you wish you could die Felt this pain a million times Can't escape the bloodshot line Gargle or it's going up your nose In your hair and down your clothes 'Cause the contents of my scrote Will be emptied down my...

Let me set a scene A scenario if you will A tale of devotion And a really useful skill She's sat on the bed one day With sorrow in her eyes Without a word of warning She breaks down and cries Lay her down onto the bed Spread her legs and eat her out EAT HER O...

Have white and pasty wenches lost all of their allure, Do you plough and churn the field and wish you could have more? Don't you fret my lucky man a brave new world awaits, To change your life forever walk through the black gates Cut-throats and rapists basta...

Holy shit you’re fucking disgusting Your one ring must be rusting I’d never put my finger inside The deep dark depths where the orcs all hide I’m not touching your Mt. Doom And neither would Orlando Bloom Cast a spell to hide your face You’re Middle Earth’s si...

Lying here these robes are shed I’ve played this moment so much in my head But you can’t Or at least I won’t I don’t know how you can bleed so much and not die Every month it’s everywhere how are you still alive? I’m longing for this connection But it’s swam...

People of earth Heed these words And you'll see This is the way it's meant to be Five sages Across the land Join as one Fight for the right to fuck for freedom Covering the world In purple and in green Raise your banners high For the lords of the obscene On...

I see in front of me The dream, the fantasy made reality It's all free to me now I can feel it One, two, a hundred times Obsession grows and grows I can't stop coming back So much to see It's all over for me now I can't believe it’s happening My eye opens an...

Oh my hair is in my eyes it’s in my face but I don’t care I was just trekking along when I got face-fucked by a bear Well I blame my GHDs for the position that I face Thank Christ no one has a camera I don’t need this on Myspace As I try to run away from a coc...

He’s coloured green and purple And lives deep underground He takes his victims skulls And piles them in a mound His unsuspecting prey He kidnaps in the night And takes them to his burrow Lit by lantern light He is the Pickleweasel He’ll get you in your sleep...

She is my perfect girl but there’s some things I’d do that would make her hurl She’s a firecrotch and what that means is the curtain and the drapes share the same sheen Angry dragon it’s in your throat I hit you in the head it comes out your nose Angry pirate...

Thundercunt Thundercunt Thundercunt Thundercunt Rumbling from the heavens A new beast on the hunt Turning every eye A soul-enticing cunt Heat-seeking climate change A labial lament Vibrating, drenched, insane A cyclone of intent Dark clouds forming The sign...

Let me express myself ever so graphically Of kids prostrated on the altar so seductively They drive me mad, they drive me wild, they make my habit chafe As long as I’m around no child alive is safe Molesting kids taking them home it’s a dirty job but someone’...

Let me regale a tale of woe with such a bitter end Involving a gig and lots of booze it's hard to comprehend I found myself deep in my cups pissed out of my head And with a bladder full to bursting I crawled into my bed Horns of ale and pints of beer I'm fille...

If you go down to the woods today Horror will dine with your soul In the deep of the night a tune will play And swallow your sanity whole A sinister dance that entrances the mind Then you are under their spell They plan to engulf all of mankind And leave just...

Wank Wank, wank, wank I wanna wank Wank in your eye Wank in your ear Wank in your nose Wank in your mouth Wank in your couch Wank in your mum Wank in your back door Wank in your fucking shitter Let me wank Please I would like to wank 

One day in my youth, I fell upon my knees To give my jellied eel, a good and mighty squeeze Suddenly a stiffening, in my moist and hairy paw I looked down in terror, at my newly formed wankclaw Erotic rigor mortis Brought me to this end With this grotesque ga...

Happy Hour is here at last Time to indulge in a liquid repast Have the barkeep pour me a drink Cause tonight I'm gonna forget how to think Give me some more (Dirty Pints) Crash to the floor (Whisky shots) Oh, good God (What is that?!) I think I'm gonna be My...

‘Twas the night before Christmas and spirits were high I was all tucked up in bed I knew Santa was nigh The stockings were hung the mince pies were out And I drifted to sleep with good feelings throughout But when Santa descended the chimney his breathing...

Released from self-served exile The year of the weasel has come For five long years he has waited Now he’s back and the plan of attack Is to party and get messed up Fuck yeah let’s get annihilated Come on everybody Move your bodies Shake your arses swing your...