Tekst piosenki
"This next story is a true story.
It concerns two of my favorite subjects:
industrial theft . . . and-a t-ts!
Mmm, what a combo! This is the story . . .
The inventor of the modern foundation garment
that we women wear today was a German scientist
and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling!
This is a true story.
His name was Otto Titsling.
What happened to Otto Titsling shouldn't happen to a schnauzer.
It's a very sad story. I feel I have to share it with you."
Otto Titsling, inventor and kraut,
had nothing to get very worked up about.
His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak.
He fled to the opera at least twice a week.
One night at the opera he saw an Aida
who's t-ts were so big they would often impede her.
Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit,
done in by the weight of those terrible t-ts.
Oh, my god! There she blows!
Aerodynamically this bitch was a mess.
Otto eyeballed the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,
and he suddenly felt the fire of inspiration
flood his soul. He knew what he had to do!
He ran back to his workshop
where he futzed and futzed and futzed.
For Otto Titsling had found his quest:
to lift and mold the female breast;
to point the small ones to the sky;
to keep the big ones high and dry!
Every night he'd sweat and snort
searching for the right support.
He tried some string and paper clips.
Hey! He even tried his own two lips!
Well, he stitched and he slaved
and he slaved and he stitched
until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning,
Otto arose from his workbench triumphant.
Yes! He had invented the worlds first
over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Hooray!
Exhausted but ecstatic he ran
down the street to the diva's house
bearing the prototype in his hot little hand.
Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on.
But, after many initial misgivings,
she finally did.
And the sigh of relief that issued forth
from the diva's mouth
was so loud that it was mistaken by some
to be the early onset of the Siroccan Winds
which would often roll through the Schwarzwald
with a vengeance!
Ahhhhh-i!
But little did Otto know,
at the moment of his greatest triumph,
lurking under the diva's bed
was none other than the very worst
of the French patent thieves,
Philippe DeBrassiere.
And Phil was watching the scene
with a great deal of interest!
Later that night, while our Brun Hilda slept,
into the wardrobe Philippe softly crept.
He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore,
'til he found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door.
Crying, "Oh, my god! What joy! What bliss!
I'm gonna make me a million from this!
Every woman in the world will wanna buy one.
I can have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan."
"Oh, thank you!"
The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:
Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?
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He gets up each morning and he goes downtown where everyone's his boss, and he's lost in an angry land. He's a little man. But then he comes uptown e...
"Uh! Here is another lady; She is not as amusing as Sophie, but she has a, she has a little something. I think she's, she has a certain quality of,...
Every time I touch you my heart skips a beat. Every time I kiss you I feel love from my head to my feet. Somethin' deep within me, baby, sayin' you sh...
When he held me in his arms, when he held me in his arms and said, "Baby, baby, baby, you are the only one for me." When a man loves a woman, can't k...
"I think I'll sing you a little ballad. It's a new one. I just learnt it. Oh, I hope you like it." Got my mother's eyes and my father's hair. Does...
Time: 2:15, the am. Place: ronardo's "boom-boom-room" on south street. I'm a hot blonde and it was a cold night. This is my story. i ain't ashamed to...
My Momma says that I must leave him alone. But how can I do that when I want him in my home? He watched me change from boys to boys and now I am his...
Ohhhhhhh. Maybe you and I see life with two different visions, and neither one of us is wrong or right. And maybe we're too serious and don't wanna li...
I am the captain and this is my shrine. Lord of the manor. See what I leave behind. River in flames, cities on fire. Yes, I'm a relic trapped in the w...
Walking along the beach last night who do you think I spy? A girl with ebony fire eyes. Soft and low do she cry. Now what could be such a source of pa...
[Harlettes:] She called up the doctor to see what's the matter. He said, "Come on over." [Bette:] I said, "Do I have to?" My knees started aching, my...
5, 6, 5, 6, 7, Let's go! Let's go, go, go! Let's go, let's go, let's really go! One more round, girls. Let the Boy Scouts hear you. One for your moth...
If you're fond of sand dunes and salty air, quaint little villages here and there, you're sure to fall in love with Old Cape Cod. If you like the tas...
When my teeth are rinsed in a glass by my bed, And my hair lies somewhere in a drawer, You know, the world doesn't seem like a very nice place, Not a...
Dear, I thought I'd drop a line. The weather's cool. The folks are fine. I'm in bed each night at nine. P.S. I love you. Yesterday we had some rain,...
Optimistic Voices / Lullaby Of Broadway
You're out of the woods, You're out of the dark, You're out of the night. Step into the sun, Step into the light, Then open your eyes And love will op...
Come on down lightning. Come on down thunder. Come on down raindrops. Don't leave me to wonder. Life ain't worth loving, love ain't worth having witho...
There is a land i know Where lovers go and flowers grow Forever more; Where time is standing still And lovers fill the quiet places By the shore. We...